This. And I'm a guy. I completely understand why women are "overly" nice.

Woah now, you better not be insinuating that men and women are anything but exactly equal in their temperament. The salty dudes on Lemmy won't let you get away with telling them otherwise.

I've been in a handful of conversations over the last couple weeks with men on this platform that don't understand the concept that women have to treat men a specific way for fear of the few of them that can be violent.

Apparently watching out for your own safety as a woman by treating men differently is sexist and completely unacceptable.

I'll back you up.

Guys, we have to suck it up. I've talked with my wife about this very thing, a lot. She's really helped me process a lot of relationship trauma in my deep past, including bad/weird breakups.

Men, by and large, have the ability to utilize violence in ways that women simply do not*. Especially towards women. This shapes a lot of inequity and abuse in society writ large, no matter where you are. Forget the law, forget about the rest doing the right thing, forget all your bias, and forget any logical fallacies you are clinging to right now. Just look at the stats above.

One in four. 25%. If you were doing anything in your day-to-day life that came with a risk of bodily or psychological harm a quarter of the time, every time, you'd probably just stop. Or, as OP is pointing out, screw social pretense and improvise a solution with a better shot at safety.

To flip that around, consider all the women you know and then think about how 25% of them have been abused in some way.

Women learn from their peers or otherwise adapt to be non-confrontational, passive, indirect, avoidant, or just plain not present. Sometimes that lesson is learned proactively, sometimes first-hand. Why? Because 25%, that's why.

(* As someone who has been abused by women, yes, there are outliers. But since we're talking statistics, that's another discussion.)

I was just ranting to my husband about how I got tired of being polite to men* in my personal life who don't take "no" for an answer the first time, I WILL be a "bitch" to co workers, in laws, friends etc that pull this shit. I am exhausted after years of finding 17 different ways to politely say no to a stranger who wants something from me on any given day. I am absolutely fucking done wasting time pussyfooting my words, with the men I am safe with (for whatever reason) and uh often men I am not safe with but I have been VERY lucky to have positive outcomes there. Pure luck

* I just don't currently have women like this in my life. I have though

Some countries in Europe started to look more into this topic since the number of femicides is growing and becoming more newsworthy it seems.

A lot of people are biased since sexism is deeply rooted in our society and many don't realize what's happening around them if they are not directly affected.

Just this week I had to discuss with a rather aggressive delivery person who berated me (unprovoked and for a made up reason) until my partner came from another room. As soon as he had to discuss his issue with another man he started to believe the facts and stopped. Actually kinda glad this happened since my partner is also very biased regarding "everyday sexism" since it doesn't affect him and this was the first time he was able to see it first hand.

I was with you until that last paragraph... Kind of a shitty thing to say.

Literally 3 days ago, twins who were being cat called, one was stabbed to death because she rejected him.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/mar/18/twin-sisters-stabbed-new-york-brooklyn-deli

"It's Dave, actually."

"Dave will show you out.

I think it’s important to remember that everyone has different levels of emotional intelligence, and people like me who are mildly autistic are slow at learning appropriate responses. But more importantly, if someone treats you less than you’d like, it’s not a reflection of you.

It's afro American sociolect.

It's African American Vernacular English. Calling it "uneducated and improper" can and will be perceived as racist as it's a legitimate dialect of the English language.