I find it helpful to distinguish between the ukrainian state under the zelensky regime, other state-like forces in ukraine like their fascist militia, the ukrainian citizenry broadly, and the people of eastern ukraine/donbass/Crimea. If you just lump all of those groups together as "ukraine" it is harder to have a coherent analysis of the situation because each of those groups have distinct interests and incentives. I've gotten libs to engage with those distinctions before by talking about different levels of government/regions of my own country, highlighting places where the federal government does things that don't align with my interests.
The concept of indivisible security is useful to discuss in the context of nato/US v Russian relations as well. Again, this relates to incentives of the different parties.
All this to say, I have a lot of sympathy for the ukrainian populace at large, especially those in the east most directly affected by the war. I have less sympathy for the formal ukrainian state and their roll of the dice/being led down the garden path by the US, and I have no sympathy for fascists.