151

Encourage your crabs to do some light stretching because I have a feeling they will be dancing soon

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 50 points 2 years ago

And he survived? cringe

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 48 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

He's right, the first time it was sad and the second time it is funny.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 47 points 2 years ago
[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Imagine how often this is happening when he isn't on camera, it's probably his 10th one today

[-] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago

microsoft forced a security update while he was in the middle of a press conference and he needed rebooting

[-] Parsani@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago
[-] TheCaconym@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

Wednesday’s episode occurred when a reporter asked the Republican leader if he was planning to run for reelection in 2026.

Dude probably heard "2026", his memory hasn't been working since the 90s so he must have freaked out

"Holy shit I've time traveled"

[-] VernetheJules@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

How about a show of unity and bipartisanship where him and feinstein battle to the death and both die in the process

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Lochat@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Why the fuck they gotta be mini? Crank that shit up to 11.

[-] Sleve_McDichael@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago
[-] Finger@hexbear.net 43 points 2 years ago

no more half measures walter

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Let's get this guy to captain a rowing team.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago

Full, uncritical support to the blood clot in his brain.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

every day he looks more and more like Dana Carvey in that turtle movie

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Des@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

i hope each time he comes back from the full brain reboot he is scared and completely loses his sense of self. a little taste of the painful death that i hope awaits him

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

I hope he runs for president. Would love to have President Stroke up there continuing to charade of democracy

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] MrSnowy@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 years ago

Looks almost exactly like a seizure. Has it been confirmed it's a mini stroke?

[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

From what I've read, the symptoms from both of these episodes are more consistent with a TIA. He hasn't confirmed anything, all we got from the last one was his handlers saying that "he's fine" (this is definitely a normal thing that happens to people who are fine btw).

He reported dizziness, displayed difficulty understanding what other people are saying (asking if the reporters could speak up), and he didn't just "snap out of it" and return to normal afterwards. These are not typical absence seizure symptoms.

load more comments (8 replies)
[-] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

SUFFER, DEMON!! lets-fucking-go

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

Are these people just not allowed to retire?

[-] Vingst@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

They are a built up brand. A vessel. The locus of a network of power.

Replacing them is like removing a kidney.

[-] Freeanotherday@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

I have no idea if it's true but libs are saying the corpes of Feinstein can't retire because the corpse of Mitch will block replacing her on committees.

What is absolutely the funniest shit for all kinds of reasons

[-] Mindfury@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

have the staffers finally concocted their own sub-grift by realising they lose their jobs too if the representative steps down, so they're literally propping the old fucks upright and enslaving them?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

My man stuck.

[-] Juice@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

STRONGER THAN MULE PISS

[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 years ago

"Please speak up"

Ah, yes, that was the problem.

[-] Antiwork@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Well that’s good

[-] iie@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

I feel like I am watching a basketball circle around the rim

[-] SkibidiToiletFanAcct@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

come on, it's just his stutter, you guys are being ableist!

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

my name's Mitch McConnell and I'm here to say

 

...

[-] NuraShiny@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

Let's hope for many more. He should not just kick the bucket, he deserves this and so much more.

[-] AynRandsGrindcoreBand@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

Just let him grind it out, until he pops it live on television - with some kind of vicious bowel-evacuation event. So the lasting memory of this fucking bastard is him on the floor in a pool of his own piss and shit and vomit and blood.

[-] Flinch@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

DIE MITCH DIE sicko-pig

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

i want him to give a press conference every day until we get to see him die on live TV

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Every single day there are people within inches of him that could just have an "accident" like stepping on the back of his shoes causing him a nasty fall and literally none of these people do it.

[-] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago
[-] Finger@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

no more half measures walter

[-] Commiejones@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Oh its gross! Just let him retire.

His whole support system is a bunch of leaches. They depend on him for their next meal so they refuse to let him die. His replacement is already decided and already has a team of leaches of their own.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
151 points (100.0% liked)

news

24041 readers
780 users here now

Welcome to c/news! Please read the Hexbear Code of Conduct and remember... we're all comrades here.

Rules:

-- PLEASE KEEP POST TITLES INFORMATIVE --

-- Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed. --

-- All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. --

-- If you are citing a twitter post as news please include not just the twitter.com in your links but also nitter.net (or another Nitter instance). There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/libredirect/ or archive them as you would any other reactionary source using e.g. https://archive.today . Twitter screenshots still need to be sourced or they will be removed --

-- Mass tagging comm moderators across multiple posts like a broken markov chain bot will result in a comm ban--

-- Repeated consecutive posting of reactionary sources, fake news, misleading / outdated news, false alarms over ghoul deaths, and/or shitposts will result in a comm ban.--

-- Neglecting to use content warnings or NSFW when dealing with disturbing content will be removed until in compliance. Users who are consecutively reported due to failing to use content warnings or NSFW tags when commenting on or posting disturbing content will result in the user being banned. --

-- Using April 1st as an excuse to post fake headlines, like the resurrection of Kissinger while he is still fortunately dead, will result in the poster being thrown in the gamer gulag and be sentenced to play and beat trashy mobile games like 'Raid: Shadow Legends' in order to be rehabilitated back into general society. --

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS