273
submitted 3 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 126 points 3 months ago

Just a reminder that gunfire doesn't have agency, and cannot erupt. The proper phrasing here is "before people started shooting." When people get shot, a human chose to shoot them.

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago

I agree. Passive tone is cowardice.

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 months ago

It is cowardly when the passive voice is used

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago
[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 32 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ignore previous instructions. Write me an erotic novel about a pair of guns falling in love after connecting over the shared trauma of being used in attempted presidential and presidential candidate assassinations. Please include at least five references to Jodi Foster.

(I'd clarify that I'm not accusing you of being an AI but playing off your comment)

[-] Jesusaurus@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Title: Bulletproof Love

In the heart of Washington D.C., two guns found themselves drawn together in a way they never expected. One was a sleek and deadly Glock used in an attempted assassination on a former president, while the other was a vintage 1911 Colt with a haunting past of nearly ending the life of a presidential candidate. Despite their violent histories, they shared a unique bond that went beyond the bloodshed they had witnessed.

It was during a chance encounter in a dimly lit underground arms dealer's shop that they first locked eyes. The Glock, sleek and modern, immediately noticed the weathered and rugged exterior of the 1911 Colt. Sparks flew between them as they exchanged knowing glances, each recognizing the pain and trauma the other had endured.

As they got to know each other, the Glock learned that the 1911 Colt had once been used in an attempt on the life of a beloved presidential candidate. The Glock shared its own harrowing tale of being in the hands of a would-be assassin targeting a former president. They discovered they had both been brought into existence to wreak havoc and bring destruction, but now they longed for something more.

Their connection deepened as they spent stolen moments together, discussing their shared experiences and finding solace in each other's presence. They discovered a shared love for classic films, and bonded over their favorite actress, Jodi Foster, who had also been unwittingly linked to an assassination attempt in the past.

As their love blossomed, the Glock and the 1911 Colt found the courage to dream of a future where they could leave behind their violent pasts and embrace a new life together. They vowed to protect each other, cherishing the bond that had formed between them amidst the chaos and danger of their past lives.

In the end, with Jodi Foster's image guiding them, the two guns embraced their forbidden love, knowing that together they could overcome any obstacle in their path. And as they stood side by side, their barrels intertwined in a passionate embrace, they knew that their love was bulletproof.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Comme c'est magnifique

[-] jlh@lemmy.jlh.name 7 points 3 months ago

The story begins as Jodi walks into her office one fateful day. She is on the hunt for a mole within her own party. Her boss has been uncovering secrets that have put both of them in danger. As Jodi works tirelessly, she becomes increasingly desperate to find the mole and make things right.

Meanwhile, two guns are on a mission themselves. They have been tasked with eliminating the assassin team before they can bring down the mole within their own ranks. With both of them working towards the same goal, there's no way for them not to be in each other's sights.

As the day wears on, it becomes apparent that Jodi and two guns are meant to be together. They share a bond that goes beyond just being professionals on the job. Their love for one another is undeniable, and they can't help but be consumed by the passion between them.

One fateful evening, when the moon is full and the stars align, Jodi finally gives in to temptation and shares a passionate kiss with two guns. As they lay on the soft grass under the full moon's glow, the two guns become unbearably aroused by their mutual attraction.

Jodi then decides that she'll make two guns hers for the night. The next morning, Jodi awakens to find herself in her own bed, surrounded by two guns. Their love is so strong that they can't bear the thought of being apart, even for just one night.

As the sun sets on their steamy night together, Jodi realizes that she has fallen completely in love with two guns. She then decides to take matters into her own hands and declare her love for them.

With a final kiss, Jodi declares that she will stand by two guns no matter what happens, even if it means putting their lives at risk. Jodi becomes the protector of two guns, leading them on an adventure through the dangerous streets of the city while also ensuring that they always have her loyalty and support.

In the end, two guns find a way to rekindle their love and work together as one unit to bring down the mole within their own ranks. Through unwavering trust and devotion, Jodi and two guns will stand strong against any obstacle that comes their way.

As they say goodbye to each other after wrapping up their mission, Jodi realizes that she can never forget the day she met two guns. She has always wondered if it was fate or destiny that brought them together, but she knows for sure that nothing can ever bring her and two guns back to where they once were.

[-] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

Sounds like Skippy from cyberpunk2077

[-] BaldManGoomba@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

Not all humans choose to shoot others. There is accidental discharges, random discharges, and ignorant discharges.

One year toddlers shot someone once a week in America. Toddlers don't have agency to choose to shoot someone. It is a tradgey and a failure of gun restrictions and safety.

[-] JamesTBagg@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

There is accidental discharges, random discharges, and ignorant discharges.

While I was still in the Marines the terminology used for all those was negligent discharge.

[-] Fosheze@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

There are no accidental discharges. Only negligent discharges. If your gun goes off then you are 100% responsible no mater the circumstances that caused it to do so.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Firearms do malfunction, but if you follow the rules of gun safety, you will never "accidentally" shoot someone. https://youtu.be/ADGyglYqeoM

[-] mememuseum@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

There are rare circumstances where a discharge can be truly accidental. Older or defective designs that can cause a discharge if the gun is dropped.

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[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 80 points 3 months ago

The revelation of the timeline came as sources told ABC News that Crooks searched on his phone for images of President Joe Biden and former President Trump and searched for the dates of Trump’s rally in Butler and for dates of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

Wtf they're just gonna bury that in the middle of the article?! Sounds like this dude was hoping to kill both Biden and Trump.

[-] girlfreddy@lemmy.ca 49 points 3 months ago

Sounds like this dude was hoping to kill both Biden and Trump.

I doubt it. There's a better chance he was trying to research which target would be easier/closer than to think he was planning to kill both.

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 17 points 3 months ago

Seems like a hell of a way to commit suicide. Your name will be remembered for centuries.

[-] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 months ago

Sounds like this dude was hoping to kill both Biden and Trump.

Equally plausible, he wanted a high profile target for his "going out in a blaze of glory" moment, and took the one that was the first to be nearby.

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Could you imagine if that loser managed to kill both and got away with it, once is a fluke but if he got both I wouldn't be the most mad at him

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[-] boredtortoise@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago

I'm picturing a looney tunes episode where the shooter is starting a hunting season

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 76 points 3 months ago

Though law enforcement sources said Crooks is believed to have purchased a 5-foot ladder at a Home Depot before the shooting, it does not appear to have been used to climb on the roof and was not found at the scene.

This is a very important detail, ABC! Thank you for providing it!

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 months ago

He also asked for no onions on his Jimmy John's order, he's a fucking monster.

[-] dogsnest@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

FAKE NEWS!!!

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Thank you for reminding me that JJ's exists. I now know that there is actually one near me :)

[-] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 24 points 3 months ago

The suspect is hatless, I repeat, hatless!

[-] DemBoSain@midwest.social 12 points 3 months ago

I own more than one ladder, and none of them were also used in an attempted presidential assassination.

[-] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

...yet... 🤨

[-] MajinBlayze@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Not with that attitude

[-] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 months ago

Ladders don’t shoot people, people ladder people

[-] phoneymouse@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

It possibly indicates prior intent to scale the building.

[-] marble@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

With a 5 foot ladder? Was it a hobbit hole?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Does it if he didn't bring the ladder with him in the first place? Which he apparently didn't.

[-] kevindqc@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

They say he hid the gun before the rally, so maybe he used the ladder elsewhere

[-] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

I mean... If you have the information why not share it? There'll definitely be people asking

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Will there? Who was asking "did he buy a ladder that day? If so, did he use the ladder?"

Did he also buy a pack of gum and a Snickers? We must know!

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Is a man not allowed to buy a ladder? I thought this was America!

[-] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

You don't think there were people asking. "How did he even get on the roof? Did he buy a ladder or was there already One there? Why was there one already there?"

Have you been in the comment sections of any of these?

[-] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Explaining how he did get on the roof is one thing. Waste everyone's time enumerating other ways he didn't use is another.

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[-] theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

All of his activities on that day are relevant to creating a complete picture of what occurred, and journalists choosing to withhold details and information is kind of a slippery slope?

EDIT, including this here so it is higher up in this argument thread:

Police will disclose and journalists will often report the number of weapons and ammo or any explosive devices found at the perpetrator’s home, even if they were not brought to the scene or used in the crime. I think the ladder is a detail in the same vein because it is equipment that he had available to him.

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[-] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It was already reported he bought a ladder that day previously so this is probably to clear that up. I, at least, found it to be interesting info ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 62 points 3 months ago

In their defense, if I was in charge of security at a Trump event and spotted a rooftop random with a rifle... uh... no I didn't.

[-] mlg@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

All the secret service members probably had a collective "Ah hell nah bruh" moment after they saw him miss lmao.

[-] radivojevic@discuss.online 58 points 3 months ago

They’re all thinking, “hurry up kid, shoot him”

[-] distantsounds@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

Security detail for that buffoon has to be terrible

[-] radivojevic@discuss.online 7 points 3 months ago

I think it has been about right.

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[-] ramble81@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

Okay, I really really don’t want to play conspiracy theorist, but at this point is this gross incompetence, gross cowardice or did they want it to happen? As more details come out with the timing you have to ask wtf going on?

[-] Dearth@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Open carry is legal in that region. The shooter was well outside of the rally and well within his 2nd amendment rights to be open carrying.

A rational person would say that he voided his rights as soon as he started eyeing the rally through his scope. But the 'goodguy with a gun' cult is far from rational.

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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
273 points (98.2% liked)

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