Gorgeous little phones. We love them don't we folks? We do we do. I've been saying it, its true, these little beautiful cell phones, not like those cellphones we had back in the day, you remember, phones as big as your head, Mah Bell, its true, put'm in a suitcase, a guy stopped me once, he said "what kid of suite case is that", I said, its true he said "what is that?", I told him, "its a cellular phone", he couldn't believe it, couldn't believe it, now they're made in China... Cheyenah, what can you do, I have to give it to them, they make them so small now, but its great, little beautiful cell phones, Xi is doing incredibly with the phones, I know I know, I hate to say it folks, that's why we have to get the chips, gotta get the chips, you used to have the phones right in the car, now their with you all the time...

Corey Dock-Tor-OH, very smart man, very clever person

Very true.

His brain was already a run on sentence generator, but him having lower inhibitions than Biden while still being able to get out coherent words (not coherent thoughts, mind you) gives us little treasures like this

What even is that entire last paragraph? Is he trying to say Mark Zuckerberg called him about Google, or that Google's CEO called him (and he got the name mixed up with Zuck), or something entirely unrelated about Meta? And what was fixed?

I'd say he only knows what he meant, but I'm sure he doesn't either lmao

He's gotten worse over time but he's been bad for years. When he was president the media would say something like "President Trump voiced his concerns about Chinese trade policy." But the fucking media wouldn't actually quote him. Very time it was the same. He was the slowest kid in the class who didn't read a page but now he has to give a book report to the whole class. Trump would vomit up world salad like "Trade - yeah. Trade is very, very important for America. I told China we wanted good trade deals because trade is very important..."

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Ninja edit

I did a quick google. I found something at "CNN Politics" but it's not actual political news. It's an article by the hack known as Chris Cillizza. CNN used to pay him to shitpost.

The 45 most incoherent lines from Donald Trump's rambling Rose Garden speech | CNN Politics

Analysis by Chris Cillizza, CNN Editor-at-large

Wed July 15, 2020

Edit: Somehow I made him way more coherent. They should pay me to write his speeches in his manner of speech.

HOW DARE YOU.