Multiracial American voters say they have heard similar derogatory remarks about their identities their whole lives.
half asian here. from childhood onward, i get asked "where are you from," and by the look on their face they're not satisfied with "tennessee" because obviously you can't be from anywhere in the states if you're less than 100% white. so anytime someone says "where are you from" what i hear is "what chingchong chinaman land are you"
Honest question here. It's something I avoid asking most of the time because I'm not sure whether or not it's appropriate, but would it be okay to ask, "where did your ancestors come from," or would that still be offensive to a multiracial person? It's not something that comes up regularly or anything, but occasionally I'll end up in conversation with someone who is multiracial and clearly another American and I'll think, "I wonder what their family story is? How did their predecessors get here? Where did they come from?" But I usually don't ask because I don't want to offend them.
Obviously I wouldn't just walk up to a stranger and ask them, I mean if I'm getting to know someone.
Edit: I should add that I'm white, but my family history is pretty weird, so I do like to hear about others' history regardless of their race, I just don't want to broach the subject where it might be a sensitive one.
i can't speak for all multiracial people (or anyone else for that matter). but personally any question that doesn't pretend to be something other than it is is fine. if the thing you want to know is someone's ancestry or ethnic background, then don't ask "where are you from." that's all.
also, still not speaking for anyone else, but i've gotten pretty numb to people being racist towards me, because i decided that if someone's going to judge people by their race (or anything else they didn't choose for themself), then there's no reason to care what they think anyway. though i will mock and ridicule racists for the sake of others who experience suffering from racism. especially kids.
Thanks for the answer, and I'm sorry you've become numb to the racism. It sucks that there's even a reason to feel a need to be.
Really, the only two times I could imagine asking someone where they were from no matter what they looked like is if they had an especially weird accent, and I would probably precede it with, "you have an interesting accent," or if I found out we were both from the same state, so I'd be asking them where in the state. Otherwise, it's kind of a stupid question to ask of anyone most of the time, at least in the U.S., even if you aren't trying to be a bigot.
things are getting better though--unlike the kids around me when i was a kid, i see the younger generations today being much more accepting and welcoming of different races, gender identities, sexual orientations, etc., because the racist white supremacist greatest fear is actually coming true: the country is becoming more and more diverse, more inclusive, and more equitable. and they want to stop it at all costs. that's why we're having to waste time arguing about DEI and CRT and gay books in the library and yes, kamala IS black, and yes, kamala IS indian--gasp at the same. time.
i dont' see the numbness i feel for myself as a bad thing; it keeps me sane. and i still feel pain for other people who are victims of racism. not everyone is at a point where they can acknowledge these emotions and then let them pass away as they arise. so i will still speak out and condemn racism at every opportunity
I can only speak for my own kid, but she has never seemed to care about anyone's physical appearance in terms of race in her life. I've never given her a reason to, admittedly, but she also has grown up in a new sort of American culture where hiphop and Anime and a lot of Latino cultural influences are mainstream or becoming so. I was 7 years old before MTV allowed music videos from non-white artists. How fucked up is that? I am really glad my daughter is growing up in an environment where non-white people at the very least have a significant presence in the media and culture she consumes.
yea, change (read progress, another GOP pejorative) might move along slower than we would like, but it is inevitable, as long as there are people to carry it on. in some ways i'm glad i got to witness people whine and stomp their feet over black little mermaid. guess i'm not too "mature" for the occasional delicious schadenfreude-- i say make ALL the disney princesses POC
I loved that one. People insisting that mermaids must be white. You know, like the real actual living half-fish ladies.
So, from your answer the question "Are you from around here?" would be fine or would it sound to close to "where are you from?" ? I've had similar thoughts about ancestry as to @FlyingSquid, but don't ask. Usually best not to ask if there is a high chance of offending someone.
Honestly don't like terms like "black-Americans", "asian-Americans or "mexican-Americans". I rarely here "white-Americans", they are just Americans. Feels like a way to segregate verbally.
As a full Asian, asking "What's your ethnic background?" is far better than "where are you from?"
It's so fucking annoying when people ask me "where are you from?" Because I'll answer "Oh, I live just a few miles away." And then they go, "no, I mean where are you really from?" And then I'll answer, "I'm from a few miles away you fucking racist."
Btw, at a funeral I got this line of questioning one too many times and actually said that.
It's also contextual. Asking this after a few beers and some light conversation, asking about my background is cool. But it being the first or second question makes it weird.
Thanks for asking FlyingSquid.
"Oh, I live just a few miles away." And then they go, "no, I mean where are you really from?" And then I'll answer, "I'm from a few miles away you fucking racist."
Amen to that! As your South Asian brother I feel exactly the same, and do the same, just without the cursing.
So, @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world, if you ask me where I'm from, accept the first answer. If you want to know my ethnicity, you can ask that. Or you can just take your time getting to know me and I might share how I identify ethnically on my own when it makes sense in our relationship.
Assuming the context is appropriate I think an acceptable way to ask is "what's your heritage" - imo the important thing is not to sound like you're assuming they're a foreigner just because their ethnicity / appearance. I think asking about someone's family story or where their family is from is also a good way to ask because it's clear you're asking about their family and not assuming that it has bearing on the person's upbringing.
It also can be really confusing when you're a mixed and natural born citizen and you have no idea if "where are you from" is just smalltalk and they want to know where you grew up or if they're assuming based on your appearance that you immigrated and assuming that the answers to "where did you grow up" and "where are your ancestors from" are 1 and the same. So personally I like when people are more specific because when asked where I'm from I'm just going to ask if they mean where I grew up or where my parents are from.
Half Asian here. At least in my experience, those questions don't tend to come from a place of malice, just a genuine curiosity of ethnic background since they can't figure it out by look.
Sure, there are some racists too. But I've had plenty of ambivalent conversations that start off that way. Beats starting a conversation on weather or other generic topics.
i prefer to assume positive intent whenever i can. then i read things like the title of this post.
It may not come from malice but it sure makes them stupid when interactions like this is normal.
https://youtu.be/d_CaZ4EAexQ?si=ty9I1zv8isihm8nY
Also, not everybody is comfortable talking about that as a starter conversation.
Meanwhile my wife is from overseas. But because she's white, they'll quite happily let her know about all their xenophobia and racism, because they think she's one of them.
"Not you, you're one of the good ones" is trotted out constantly among those who suddenly remember who they're talking to.
because obviously you can’t be from anywhere in the states
try it with native american ancestory that is no longer native due to the pogroms in the 19th & 20th centuries; it doesn't matter that we were here first, we truly can't be from here anymore because nearly all of the ones who lived on this side of the border were genocided out of existence so now we have to get permission to live on the land we've been inhabiting for thousands of years.
the icing on this cake is pointing this out brands you a malcontent for doing so.
And then you also get a bunch of white people (like me until a few years ago) who think it's a point of pride they are 1/16th Cherokee without realizing it likely means their great great grandmother was raped by a white guy. My great great grandparents were married, but I have no idea whether it was a forced marriage by him stealing her or if it was a love marriage.
I lived in Tennessee for a few years. I've never been greeted so many times with "do you speak English?" Sometimes I'd just be like "nah!" And walk away.
no hablo ingles, pendejo
That reminds me of the scene in Parks and Rec where someone asks where Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) is from. He responds Illinois. Then the person asks "but where are your parents from?" He responds "Georgia."
fine I'll rewatch parks and rec
I really hate that racists have ruined a perfectly good question. I often want to actually ask people where in the US they're from, but I can't ask the straightforward "where are you from?" if the person isn't white because I know it can easily be interpreted as the racist version.
Instead I now ask "are you from [city we're in]?" to try to make it clear I'm assuming they're from the US.
My grandmother on my mother's side was Chinese-American. She and my grandfather met in Hawaii during WW2, and that's where my mom was raised, so we observed a lot of Hawaiian and Chinese traditions when I was growing up.
My grandfather on my father's side was raised Jewish by Romanian immigrants, but converted to Christianity, and my father eventually became an atheist. But we still occasionally celebrated certain Jewish holidays to honor his ancestors. My dad's mother was the child of German immigrants. She taught me to make some delicious German treats.
For my part, I pass completely as white (I'm a super pale ginger). But I'm proud of all my heritage, and my whole life I've hated questions on forms that ask me to pick one. If there's an "other" option or a "prefer not to answer" option, that's what I pick.
Ancestry isn't a box you check, it's a story you tell.
I always take the opportunity to mess with people who ask me that question.
Where are you from? - (a city in the US).
Where did you move from. - (an other city in the US).
Where where you born. - (a city in Europe).
Uhhh.... So uh.... I mean.... What's the... <starts sweating about a politely way to say, "the not-white part">
Me: Tennessee? Really? I'd have guessed Arkansas.
"where are you from?"
"Tennessee"
"No, I meant what country you originaly come from"
I think we go with his logic and make sure Republicans know we're agreeing with them:
Kamala Harris has an Indian mother and a black father. Therefore, she is Indian.
Barack Obama has a white mother and a black father. Therefore, he is white.
I'm not sure when we'll get our first black president, but I look forward to our first Indian president.
Yup I'm a quarter white, and watching my racist school system sit me down and tell me I couldn't put white on my SAT survey was eye opening. They were so concerned that they needed to see pictures of my parents and have written proof of my heritage.
I'm Italian and just the thought of an official form asking for your race looks completely crazy and fucked up. Also, it would be completely illegal here.
Why are the US so f-cked up?
The US has a very complicated history with race. And demographic data is important in the right hands to resolve issues our history created, but in the wrong hands...
I was so hoping you were going to say that they discouraged you from putting white so that it opened you up for diversity-based scholarships. I am so disappointed to hear that was not the case. What they did is really messed up.
Why is this hard for people to understand‽
Like I’m white as the first 41 presidents, but it’s always just seemed fucking obvious that mixed race and mixed ethnicity people are just simultaneously both.
Even for white people - haven't you ever heard someone say something like, "I'm German and Irish on my mother's side"?
The idea of having two different heritages is completely common and obvious. It's not that Trump or other Republicans are having trouble wrapping their heads around the concept. It's a racist attack, plain and simple.
I'm still confused as to who they are trying to convince that Harris isn't really black. Whose vote would change from Harris to Trump based on Trump claiming she isn't really black? Or, if he's not after votes, what will believing she's not really black change for how his own followers see things if he loses?
Or does he think he's out of the water as far as his legal troubles go and maybe he's just trying to exit gracefully without making his base turn on him by making it look like he's still fighting?
You have the ability to form thoughts, this puts you about above 90% of the average conservative fan base.
Unfortunately, the experience of being mixed race is a bit more complicated than that.
There are several groups that see me as a potential member but it's usually qualified with an implied "half-member". There's really no group that looks at me and instinctively says, "One of us."
If you vote for Trump as a POC you're not the brightest bulb anyway. He's openly racist lol
But what if you're a POC and a billionaire who believes Trump will make you wealthier?
At least my parents won't vote republican because of homophobia. They're convinced dems will take all their money to give to immigrants and black people and force them to use paper straws...
This is exactly the kind of thing intersectionality provides. You can attack her for being too black, not black enough, etc and with each attack you're misfiring into the crowd. A minority in this country are black or asian or Kamala's exact racial and gender makeup, but a majority of people belong to one "out" group or another.
Surprised they haven’t started to ask for her birth certificate yet.
In Obama's case, he had an estranged father in Kenya who died in 1982. Kamala's father is a tenured economy professor at Stanford (first black scholar granted tenure at Stanford too) and very much still alive at 85.
Kind of hard to sow doubts about her birth, when her father is not only living in the US, but also as an authority figure.
You are assuming that the birthers use logic. If that was the case, they would not have cared where Obama was born because his mother was an American born in Kansas. That would make him American even if he was born in Kenya or Canada (like Ted Cruz).
i hope they do and kamala responds with the epstein flight logs with trump on em
Basket of deplorables was such a perfect description
I can’t believe we’re not over all this trivial shit.
This is what happens when our leaders are a decade plus over retirement age.
People forget Bill and Obama were in their 40s, for some reason we just forgot we could run younger candidates
Kamala really should be the upper age range we look at for first term presidents. If everything goes well they're signing up for an 8 year commitment.
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