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Trump shot, Biden retired, Youtube-CEO dead, resignation of the president of Columbia University: All these things happened when I went for a run. I am now going for another. (hexbear.net)

submitted 5 months ago by REgon@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I also went for a run on august 6th this year and on the 22nd of november 1963.

All these things happened as a direct result of my running, this much is obvious. I don't know how my legs are linked to the politics of the US, but I hope to understand my powers some day soon. Also Chris Dorner was briefly resurrected when I hit the gym last week (they found his gun). It seems my thighs quench life and my biceps bring it forth.

Last time I went for a long run (managed to be my longest yet at 13k!) This time I am going for a short 5k. I hope to be able to do it in under 22 minutes (when I was at my peak I could do it just under 18 minutes!) We will see if it is time, distance or speed that determines this.

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[-] doleo@lemmy.one 38 points 5 months ago

It’s like that saying, “a watched pot never boils”. Things only happen when you’re not watching an internet.

[-] Brickardo@feddit.nl 37 points 5 months ago

There are runs where decades happen

[-] Jew@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago

News just dropped that a billionaire is missing at sea. Not joking, that fucker probably drowned. Thank you for your fitness comrade!!

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

I was thinking about Jeff Bezos as I ran. Getting closer and closer.

[-] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 29 points 5 months ago

British tech entrepreneur Mike Lynch reportedly missing after yacht sinks off Sicily

The name of that ship? The Bayesian.

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 5 months ago

The Bayesian

Too perfect, p-values ~~through the roof~~ exactly 0.5

God doesn't play dice, but he sure jokes a lot

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

comrade has the ~~lathe~~ treadmill of heaven

[-] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

Post hog, ergo propter hog.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Post hog, helicopter hog

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

Well you done gon for a run and now you REgon

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

RE:RE:RE:gon (funny!)

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

Run along the San Andreas fault line so Escape From LA can happen.

[-] Sephitard9001@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

Run backward along the fault so Bad Day LA can happen

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

What happens if I run sideways?

[-] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

Become crab

[-] Gay_Tomato@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

khomeini

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

nicholson-yes

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Try running backwards and see if someone gets resurrected

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

juche necromancy secrets revealed

[-] autism_2@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

TYFYS

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

rat-salute

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Oh shit oh fuck

[-] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

New bit idea: we make a new live-action Deathnote for Netflix and we replace the book with MC Ride running montages.

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

Basically what Yu Gi Oh! 5Ds did with motorbikes and card games

[-] StalinistApologist@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

You got Phil Donahue this run. i-told-you-dog

[-] REgon@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago

rip-bozo
or was he an okay dude?

[-] StalinistApologist@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

He pioneered daytime talk shows and his was the first to include audience participation in the late 1960s with The Phil Donahue Show. I didn't know about this but he did a series of Citizens' Summits with the USSR, which seems like a good thing since the NYTimes hates it in that link.

Maybe not that bad a guy, just the only newsworthy thing announced since your run when I looked.