The problem is the other people in their 30s are boring, miserable, and second-guessing their life choices constantly. Even if they made the effort to be friends, I couldn't stand them. The only people that don't do that are my friends...my old friends...in my old city...far, far away... Oh, god I'm miserable and second guessing moving here.

It's not impossible, that's exactly how I was summoned

I've recently found that it is way easier in your thirties to make friends with 70 year olds. They have time to meet whenever you are available, have great perspective and in my case, share more if my interests than people my age.

Try gardening groups, dancing lessons, bridge groups, local language classes, and you'll find tons of friends!

I'm in my late 30s, and I have found that making friends is different, but not necessarily harder. If you're still thinking back to high school/college days where you had "the boys" or "the girls," that's just not realistic. People have jobs, hopefully careers, spouses, kids. If your primary focus is on exclusive friend time in your 30s, that is very difficult to find. Most people have more than just friends going on in their lives--unlike in high school and college, where people typically had friends going on and lives that wrapped around it.

I'm fairly affable and outgoing, which helps, but I enjoy making friends with people that aren't. It's easier, and the best friends I've made over the last few years are people that aren't very outgoing, but they like being around and hanging out with an outgoing person. But that does mean that I'm usually the one to strike up conversation, ask for a number, drag them out when I've got free time, etc. To be honest, many of these friends don't necessarily make it easy to socialize with them, because it takes them out of their comfort zone. I'm aware of that, so I don't mind the extra prodding and encouragement that it takes, but I think if you're more like that, the best thing you can do is just try to decrease the amount of drag you add to trying to be friends (even though you might be unaware that you're adding that "drag"). Often people will just be like "ok. They don't want to hang," and they'll move on. I just grew up with friends that were always kind of like that, so I just know they tend to need a little more love and encouragement.

Beyond that, just prioritize friendship maintenance. Text people periodically, see how they're doing, etc. Friends are like plants: when they're new, they require a lot of watering and maintenance, once they're established, they require less. But you can't expect a new plant to take well to the treatment of an established plant with deep roots. You've gotta nurture it.

It isn't too hard if you're willing to fail a lot first. It takes time, but I really turned my life around eventually. Even still I feel like an imposter, but an imposter with plenty friends anyway now

Sooner or later either they stop responding to my summoning or I stop summoning them thinking I'm bothering them too much ...

Early 30s here. Will any chalk do for the invocation?

Add getting disabled at 34 to the equation.

People just don't like you when you have MS.

If you want to meet people and make friends, you have to join a group first. It’s awful. It’s stressful. But you have to join a group of some kind. That’s where IRL people are.

The trick is to have kids and then get them to be friends with the kids who have parents that look cool to you.

If making friends in our teens and 20s was so easy then we wouldn't need to make more friends in our 30s.

Making friends isn't the hard part. Maintaining the friendship is. It's a lot of effort and often involves doing more work than the other party, especially if they have a busier life. But it also involves a lot of failures, as plenty of them just aren't meant to be. I look more at the effort others put back into the relationship than how much I like them, as the former is a much better indicator of the potentials.

I'm not far off my 40s but I make friends wherever I go. I just have some popular hobbies. I like to smoke weed and play guitar. Lots of my kind of people like doing that.

I've recently started a new job and have made loads of friends because I'm a guitarist and a pothead.

We can be friends OP

I'm in my early 40s and joined a women's only gym and have made lots of new acquaintances, one actual new friend, and a couple more in the works.

The advice to join a club or get involved in a group hobby has never really worked for me before, but I guess it's not completely impossible.

i'm 26 but i simply choose to not care anymore

it works 83% of the time

I'm not in my 30' and it's hard/impossible to find friends. So, in my 30' it will be impossible. Gosh.

Meeh, not really impossible, but damn hard, that's for sure.

If anyone needs a friend, I’m here!

join a men’s group

I spent my time with my family at home until I was around 40. I was fine with that. I started getting into cycling and joined a club. Easily a great way to find friends.

Like anything in life you have to help yourself to fix your unhappyness.

Why summon Baphomet if you can buy a doll?

Ya it's hard but start with looking at your local communities, participate, etc.

I'm going through this now in a city known for being notoriously difficult to make friends in (Seattle) and can confirm that it sucks.