Google a recent medical symptom - your smart watch already knows the gritty details
It's always cancer.
Sore throat - cancer.
Back ache - cancer.
Tiredness, cough, loss of taste and/or smell - maybe COVID. But also, cancer.
In its defense, the symptom I googled most recently like a year and a half ago, did, in fact, turn out to be cancer.
Yes, I'm fine now. But sometimes it's right.
Doesn't take away the fact you should've asked a doctor instead of a search engine, though.
Yeah, that's... what I did after? It sure didn't go away on its own lmao
"It's probably nothing to worry about. Or cancer."
...But my smart watch is local sync only through FOSS alternative app. Maybe it's a normally intelligent watch instead of a smart watch.
No wait, you're telling me that mega-corporations don't care about me getting good products and having sole ownership of my personal data?
B-but [sponsored tech-geek blog], [generic gaming-news outlet] and [irrelevant apple shill] only ever told me so! Are you implying they lie to me?
Realtalk I only use cracked win11 pro workstation and iPhone because of work, every telemetry possible disabled (god bless the EU).
I have a trash internet connection so I just play whack-a-mole with internet privileges. Windows update? No. NVIDIA? Not a chance. Google? How is that even on my computer? But also nah.
Turns out most things use fuck all resources without internet
FAKE! Obviously no self-respecting Apple iPhone user would own a Windows PC. Gotta keep it all in that walled garden, baby!
On that matter, why is Norton antivirus so popular? I don't remember being prompted to install one when installing Windows, yet I've seen a lot of people with it.
Back in the day, Norton actually made some useful tools. They've been coasting on that 90s reputation for decades, though. It's all unnecessary bloatware now.
Dos was so much easier to use with Norton Commander.
You gave me flashbacks of the Peter Norton and John McAfee days!
There's still contracts that force anti-virus on servers and desktops so that may be their other source of revenue
Back in the day, you were pushed hard to either put McAfee or Norton on your computer when you bought one from Dell, Compaq, etc. A lot of older people still think you need to do that so it’s still pretty popular.
I always used kaspersky which I stupidly downloaded from a torrent lol. Guess it worked? I'll never know tho.
It protected our computer perfectly :)
It comes preinstalled in a bunch of laptops.
strange, most IT professionals will tell you the only thing you need is Windows Defender and an ability to think before clicking strange download buttons
Not strange, most executives will sign a deal where another company gives them money for every laptop they sell with that company's product preinstalled.
ah of course, money
It just comes on cheap prebuilts or laptops. It sucks.
prepares a morning shower
??
HAL begs anon "please take a shower"
"I am afraid I can't do that, Dave, not until you have taken a shower"
this was written by someone pretending they know how showers work
Notice he never actually enters the shower in this story.
Written by AI, you bet?
Wall mounted mechanical dildo obviously
Max had already turned on the shower for me, setting the water temperature right where I liked it. As I jumped into the steam-filled stall. Max switched the music over to my shower tunes playlist. I recognized the opening riffs of “Change,” by John Waite. From the Vision Quest soundtrack. Geffen Records, 1985.
Ready Player One had an AI that prepared his shower for him
setting the water temperature right where I liked it.
I have that too, it is called "having separate knobs for temperature and turning the water on and off" though I wouldn't exactly consider it AI.
For real, though, I'm building a Hal9000 system for my home built on top of Home Assistant and Esphome.
What kind of hardware are you using for voice controls/voice output? Been looking to build an Ai waifu to control the lights.
I'll have to dig through my receipts to see. The Hal project has taken a back seat to the microchip controlled pet feeding stall project.
troll. no one uses Norton anymore, its all about avast.
Is my McAfee not cool anymore?
No, he's not shooting holding RPGs in his hand with blow all over the table anymore.
no no no, kaspersky is where it's at
beep boop "You're wrist circumference is too wide and the tracker noticed no physical activities."
I used to wonder why someone didn't just make a Linux distro that could natively run Windows programs until the whole copyright shit was explained to me; can't incorporate DirectX and other crap without permission yadda yadda...
Now I just wonder why someone hasn't done it anyway just because fuck Microsoft and because if they don't even distribute it, how would they have actually broken a law? Make the world's most perfect OS; and then keep it to yourself. Be a sick flex.
Or just do what other people breaking the law do and release it entirely anonymously via torrent, once it's out there it's out there.
Don't even have a website or explain anything, just dump it on pirate Bay and let word of mouth do the rest.
It's just really hard. Valve has been throwing money at the problem for like 10 years now and still hasn't gotten it right.
I bet there is such a distro being kept hidden from us. I wouldn't be surprised. Even if it isn't public, someone probably tried doing it for his own personal sake.
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
