375
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 120 points 1 year ago

why are you posting empty 4chan screenshots?

[-] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 13 points 1 year ago

what? It wasn't empty. There was, um, something about... hmm I don't remember.

[-] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 66 points 1 year ago

try burping and then saying "oh fuck yeah that's good" as you approach before you get too close. this way they know you're coming and they know what you'll smell like

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 16 points 1 year ago

And if you can't burp, you can instead fart.

[-] yngmnwntr@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

I hate fartin and wastin' it, I'd rather burp and be tastin' it!

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 year ago

With enough workarounds you can taste your farts as well.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

while you rip you can let out a sigh and say "ugghhh god yea" so again they know What to expect

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 year ago

Username checks out.

[-] Syd@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

It's also cleverly putting the idea in their head that you smell good.

[-] Object@sh.itjust.works 63 points 1 year ago

I think the problem is that

Um

What was I talking about again?

[-] Hubi@feddit.org 54 points 1 year ago

That's some medieval ass logic

[-] lurch@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 year ago

I have this too. It's when you move too silent. I just start conversations by saying DO NOT BE AFRAID with the voice in their head. Can recommend.

[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago

What have we learned? Anon is boring and wearing soft shoes.

[-] festnt@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago

might also have a problem with walking normally (constantly crouching, making stealth higher)

[-] And009@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 year ago
[-] sporkler@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty sure the axe would make them more noticeable.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 1 year ago

Ooor, someone had to "survive" their family's bullshit and being unseen was the best way to do it. Then it became so ingrained in said someone's existential fingerprint, that they're now a ninja without even realising it.

[-] nesc@lemmy.cafe 39 points 1 year ago

You don't need some tragic family background to be soulless creature wearing human costume.

[-] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 21 points 1 year ago

Yeah, bullying at school works too.

[-] JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Yeah I'm like this and it's not really a trauma thing for me. I'm just autistic and ADHD which basically means I take advice too seriously and I have a bad habit of getting into someone's field of view or in their way by accident. As a result of being advised to be less visible every time I got in someone's view, I accidentally became invisible. It's something I've been working on lately actually and I've noticed I scare people less often since I started thinking about it

[-] Prime_Minister_Keyes@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

And one day when we flee
From our sweet misery
And shed our human costumes then
Revealing somewhat smaller men
Go off to work and then back again

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 year ago

I have the opposite problem—I’m a strong impression making motherfucker. Strangers consistently approach me to say “you look like [insert famous person].” Acquaintances tell me “I never forgot you.”

And yet, nobody keeps in touch without a lot of effort on my part. I wish I knew how to transition my “I remember you” power into an “I want to be closer to you” power.

[-] Object@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 year ago

Give him his soul back you monster

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

I am like this and do not understand it. Literally the other day a FedEx guy remembered me because he was my brother's friend, another guy said he remembered me from 2nd grade. Neither of them at all familiar to me, and this happens regularly. I could never be a spy. It's not looks, I'm average in looks. This is not a small town either.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] 2910000@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago
[-] DancingBear@midwest.social 10 points 1 year ago

Aye!!!! More cowbell!!!

A half dozen keychains has the same effect without being quite so odd

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] recentSloth43@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

He should play basketball with that superpower

[-] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 9 points 1 year ago

Anon no basket

[-] frog@feddit.uk 17 points 1 year ago

Approach where they can see you in their line of vision but not directly. Approach at a 45 degree angle.

[-] Hikermick@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

They should start wearing juggalo makeup

[-] Pyro@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago
[-] YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago

Live SCP, image of anon is a cognitohazard.

[-] Gutek8134@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

I also have weak presence, but I like joking about actually being a ninja

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I call it my 'stealth field,' because I can turn it off. It just defaults to on.

[-] sporkler@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

IDK, since my soul was collected people seem to unconsciously avoid me, and eye contact that lasts for a second would seem long, if he can describe having a conversation I suspect it's something else.

[-] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

I like to say 'knock knock' to get someone's attention, seems to be a little less starting than a hand on the shoulder.

[-] Banana@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

Very sad when someone innocent gets caught in the range of a false hydra's song

[-] phuntis@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

bros a blank

[-] match@pawb.social 8 points 1 year ago

You can use this power to be an incredible hypnotist or subtly manipulate people

[-] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

You just need to wear something bright--doesn't have to happy bright though, could be like a bright green skull on your shirt or something, bright coloured shoes with black attire. Own that spooky vibe. Lean into it. Be proud of it. You're not soulless, just a spooky ghoul and spooky ghouls are great.

[-] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

Hollowborn !

[-] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 6 points 1 year ago

OP is a high level rouge with a CHA dump stat.

[-] elvith@feddit.org 6 points 1 year ago

I can ~~see~~ read posts of dead people!

[-] OrderedChaos@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I can walk in making noise with my feet or humming and still scare people. I think op just works with people who are deeply engrossed in their thoughts.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

OP would make a great hunter

[-] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

The Schwa Was Here

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2025
375 points (95.4% liked)

Greentext

8150 readers
895 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS