I love the idea that eventually he's just going to have to shrivel up into a corncob and reduce the tariffs or make the call himself.
but he'll either invade Greenland or start bombing Iran first to distract from that
If it's Greenland - Trump won't be able to resist bragging about the invasion before it happens.
"Lotsa people say..." Trump uses his doing-an-impression voice "President Trump sir - you can't invade Greenland. You can't." He goes back to his regular voice. "I can invade Greenland. We can just take it. Tomorrow too. Denmark - don't try to stop me. I could drop some big nukes on you and - Skidmark. All of Denmark - skid mark. Bye bye."
Come to think of it - Trump might do something similar the day before bombing Iran.
indeed
I know Greenland's population is predominantly Inuit but isn't it a Danish "protectorate" (read Colony) though?
I'm pretty sure an invasion of Greenland would functionally be treated as an invasion of the EU which would put the two essentially into a nuclear war.
There's absolutely zero chance of the EU going to war with the US.
: I have an idea... what if we tried appeasement?
Oh I have no doubt that they have neither the inclination nor capability. The question is what does the next day look like? They probably just let Greenland go and claim it's "on loan" while the locals suffer and part of the EU population copes and seethes and agitates for some sort of EU nationalism and imperial fervor because Europe never learns.
Yeah there's going to be a lot of cope from EU, and they'll try to frame it in some way that doesn't look like the US just annexed territory from them.
No one, not even Denmark, would call it an invasion. And it barely would be. The troops are already there, they just have to walk into the parliament building and say “this is ours now”. Much more akin to a coup than an invasion.
The EU would whine about it endlessly, but they wouldn’t actually do anything.
greenland would be cheap, since they already have a base there, so he can just send 1 more troop transport plane and call it an invasion
I'm not requesting that you request a call with our president. I'm just saying you should request a call. When you put it like that it makes it sound like we're asking but we want you to ask. We're not desperate for a win or anything.
Trump doesn't have the cards 
"I want nothing. I want nothing. I want no quid pro quo. Tell Zelensky, President Zelensky, to do the right thing"
But it's replaced with Xi instead of Zelensky.
Trump is the Rodney Dangerfield of wannabe dictators.
"I get shot, some wacko shoots my ear off, and my wife, my darling wife, what does she say? 'Damn, he missed!' I tell ya folks, I get no respect!" 
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