Latter*

Also, don't forget the ever fun Mallory-Weiss tears if your sudden exertion involves something like jumping, or, since it's also associated with heavy alcoholism, after a long and good barfing session.

You wouldn't understand. It's about optimizing airflow. The friction reduction from the dripping saliva is a bonus!

One that's big enough to cuddle us. They also should get along fine in the increasingly small environments we are being shoved into. Having a newly domesticated animal that is limited to the ultra rich with giant estates is pointless, right? Bonus points if we can make it an environmental win as well.

Just about everything 'big' fails at being in an apartment though. Big cats, even the smaller ones among them, need more room. Same with bears, moose (cooool, dudes, am I right? Imagine lounging with a moose), elk, whales, dolphins... bah.

My idea, then? Giant birds. Big enough to lay on you when on the couch, but could be let loose to fly around while you're at work. It would take an incredible amount of domestication to get them to go and come back, but if we're talking hypotheticals and theoreticals and blue fantasy, I think giant birds would be the way to go. Take your pick of them. The steller's sea eagle and especially the phillipine eagle speak to me, but I wouldn't turn my nose up at a swan, a goshawk, or a red kite. Feed them well at home, pretend that during the domestication process we made the nesting area easy to clean, and imagine being able to set it loose on stupid fascist leaders.

I'm morbidly curious whether she was actually cheating on him with the dude who got the picture. Was it a horrible feeling of realization on the receiver's otherwise blissful friday evening? Was it guilt? Was it that creeping trauma that won't be understood until years later because of one insane dipshit's rage?

Those poor fucking kids, man. I can't imagine myself at the age of five thinking my parents were anything but perfect.

It's amusing to me how true this was when I was a kid playing. Now as an adult, the 'clues' they give you are so obvious I feel like I'm barely even playing.

You can't go ~~home~~ adventuring again

So in other words, to clarify for the people at home, you should remember that old saying about "better to be judged by 12 than carried by six," and remember we now have a new corollary: If you can't trust them being judged by 12, ensure they're carried by six. I'm honestly half-surprised that we haven't heard of the attacker of Pelosi's husband being pardoned. Imagine a world where your attacker gets pardoned for his attack on you, and know that it may be coming sooner than you think.

Hmm, I think starting with the getaway plane for the Kiki Camarena affair should get you started on the rabbit hole of the cia. The origins of the Zeta cartel is also a starting point.

If my experience on the internet tells me anything, it's that people are fucked in the head when it comes to sex.

You could replace "keep silent about their harmless hobbies" with a great many other things, and people will say yes. The hobbies thing is relatively tame compared to a great deal of self-directed changes/decisions based on the partner.

Wait until my date sees me bust out the five toe socks to go with 'em.

I'm sure I'd be screwed. Just by the nature of the internet, someone in the various posts would find something that would enrage them enough to hunt me down and throw a cocktail at my house. Even if only one person in a million is insane and bent on revenge, overall I have enough posts that they'd come in contact with it. I'd for sure lose my job, since we have seen it happen on social media sites with folks' real names attached.

Luckily, most of the comments I've made have been on sites that have permanently shut down, so I would escape the worst of my years becoming public knowledge.

Now, if it wasn't just me, I'm sure I'd be lost in the relatively blase nature of my comments.

I got 15 pairs of socks this morning. It was a pretty good haul!