If you're not a normie, don't match with hardcore normies. Usually it's pretty easy to tell.
As someone who is a bit older than the average 4chan user, but used 4chan when I was that age: don’t change your hobbies for a girl/boy.
I get the reason people think this way - but you’ll never be able to hide who you truly are. Find someone who likes you for who you truly are.
And no, not showering isn’t who you truly are. Shower.
I feel like hiding/changing self is oftentimes easier than finding someone who likes one as-is. Most people are quite stereotyped and prefers being normal.
“Easier” is a copout in the long term if you’re giving up your happiness for someone else. “Normal” is a spectrum and not absolute.
I get it though - loneliness sucks arse. For plenty of people desperation makes them want to make radical changes. I promise though that a lot of people get stuck thinking they’ll only have one opportunity at happiness
Be the best version of yourself.
Best version showers and wears deodorant.
This feels like you’re just rephrasing “don’t watch anime”
And use soap
Pro tip: if this is your date's reaction to your honest self then it was never gonna work out. You're better off ditching their dead weight and moving on.
If she doesn't like those things she's not worth bothering with. Keep looking.
Nah, it doesn't matter if she likes those things or not. It's about whether or not she supports you having hobbies/interests that she doesn't share.
Exactly. You're never going to share 100% of your interests with a person, but you can still listen to them when they talk about the interests you don't share. Anon's date was a jerk for not even trying to engage with anon's interests.
I mean... Did they not say what their hobbies were before they met? How do you go on a date with someone without knowing anything about them?
Some people go on dates to learn more about people.
But, if any of this story actually happened (which it didn't, but I'm sure has happened), I agree anyone so petty as to decide anime and video games is wrong for a young person...would want to do more homework before wasting their time.
Or maybe just wanted free coffee.
maybe just wanted free coffee. Better a $2-3 coffee than a $20+ dinner
I def agree about the level of happened that is going on here, but in defense of this fictional date: while it's not always good to judge a book by its cover...if I'm being honest with myself, I'd have a certain image in mind and a certain reaction if I met someone at a party and just in conversation, not even a date, asked what they were into and the response was "anime and one specific video game".
I mean, I wouldn't stop talking to them, but I'd certainly have preconceived notions that I'd be very surprised if they were very inaccurate.
And it's not so much that it's wrong, as that it gives me insight into the type of person I'm talking to. And honestly, if I were looking to date, and this person matched my preferred gender, appearance, etc...well...an answer like that would certainly be a "yellow flag" and a clue that I may not be so compatible with this person, based on others I've met with similar interests.
Mind you, it certainly doesn't justify any rudeness, but it's a coffee date. She owes OP nothing. And while she could have been nicer, limiting conversation and politely excusing herself at her earliest convenience isn't the worst thing she could've done.
Probably didn't have them on the app profile. She liked how he looked, and he may have approached her profile/responded to her message, in a way that socially acceptable to her, and nothing on his profile was a red flag to what she was looking for, so she agreed to meet him for coffee. Then, upon being told his hobbies are watching anime, and he has playing a video game, she lost interest, not what she was looking for though he was otherwise acceptable.
Did he put that in his hobbies? That's like going out with someone who likes hiking and being mad when they mention their favorite trail. Anon dodged a bullet.
This is why people fail at dating and relationships. They look at it like fishing- that your goal is to tempt a big fish into biting. That is wrong. Dating is a SEARCH. In your area there is somewhere between a few thousand and a million potential partners of your desired gender and age and other characteristics. You aren't trying to persuade the first one you see to like you, you're trying to find the one who already likes you but doesn't know it yet because they haven't met you. The person you are compatible with will like you for who you are. So when this girl rejects him because she doesn't like anime, he should not take that as a personal failing. He should smile and say okay on to the next one.
And if you're into stuff like anime put that shit in your profile. That will attract the right people and screen out the wrong ones. That's not 'making a bad impression', the people for whom anime is a turn off are people who you wouldn't want anyway if you are an anime fan.
Atup. There's a lotta guys who think dating apps are akin to ordering a woman online and then finessing the edges and they always get ragingly shitful when they find out women are actually people and don't want that bullshit.
(This is outside of transactional hookups where people just wanna fuck)
There's a lot of flawed logic on all sides.
And that's not even accounting for the inherently deeply complex and illogical stuff that goes along with dating too.
When I was actively pursuing online dating years ago, some of my best dates were the one and done dates where we both seemed to know early on that we probably weren't interested in each other as long term partners but were mature enough to acknowledge that without taking it personally and enjoy a much more relaxed rest of the date. On one of those occasions, my date even suggested that while I wasn't a good match for her, if I were interested, she'd give her roommate my number, thinking we'd be better.
In the end it never happened, but it just shows that just because one or both halves of a date may not want a second date, that's not a failing of either one, necessarily.
Between 1000 and a few million??????? Lmfaoooo
Even if you’re in a massive city, it’s still probably gonna only be like 1000 people out of the total dating pool that you’ll get to maybe meet. And only like 20 of those 1000 would want a second date.
Surely you mean 1% chance of finding 1 out of 1000
You missed the other commenter's point entirely. They're referring to the total size of the dating pool and the need to filter that down to something that is both more manageable to interact with and more likely to lead to interactions with interested parties. The goal shouldn't be "as many dates as possible", rather "as many potentially compatible dates as possible". Without winnowing down the size of the potential search group, one would be far less likely to have a meaningful, favorable encounter on any hypothetical date.
In your area there is somewhere between a few thousand and a million potential partners of your desired gender and age and other characteristics.
reported for misinformation
lol true.
There are that many women, sure, but 80% are unavailable, then 10% of the rest are MAGA, and of the final amount maybe 1% are actually compatible.
Plus they all have kids 😬
All the adverts that I see on my sidebar tell me otherwise
That's a nice sentiment, but there is almost certainly a mismatch in supply and demand for men who are anime and video game nerds.
As a gay man, I have a novel solution to the problem.
Ok, but it’s not like it’s a choice to be gay…
it is a choice.
and I make it.
you're gay now
*poof!*
Getting both uses out of 'poof' there
That a gayer version of “your body, my choice?”
Honestly I loved anime growing up but I went on a date with a guy in college who spent the entire date talking about anime in a manner that communicated his big tit fetish on the first date. Like. I would have loved talking about Inuyasha or fma among a few others I remembered really enjoying. But nope. Anime tiddies. So when I read this I'm like... Are you sure it was the anime dude or was it maybe actually something tangentially related to the anime?
Otoh if it really truly was the anime anon dodged a bullet anyway.
It's not just girls, some people just really don't enjoy anime... me being one of them. I have tried and tried to like it to no avail.
So if a girl was really into anime, that would turn me off because I would assume I would have to at least listen to a lot of anime in my life.
There's anime fans ("Hellsing is pretty good, Gundam's pretty cool too"), and anime fans ("KONICHIWA SENPAII~~❤️UwU NANI!?!?")
Lots, if not most, people who like anime are in the first camp (sub in anime that people watch these days - I am deeply out of touch and know it shows). Lots, if not most, people think of the second camp when they hear someone say "I like anime".
Wouldn't necessarily lead with it as a hobby in a dating scenario unless you're talking TV and movies in general already. But that's just me, and I haven't had to think about dating strategy for a loooong time.
I literally had a birthday picnic last sat with a bunch of incredibly attractive and intelligent women who would not shut the fuck up about bg3. Dude lost nothing of value
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
