Just to put it into perspective:
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Direct Links:
I was taught the "Weak Standard Grip" ...thanks, I guess? XD
How are y'all holding them?
It looks like a cheap, fuzzy Halloween decoration in the most cheesy way possible, as if someone took the model of a regular boring black bat and recolored it in the "classic" Halloween color scheme to make it look "spooky". If I'd encounter such a creature in a videogame or movie, I'd laugh at the absurdity. It looks so fake.
Nope. They're real.
Instead of big swarms, they usually live alone or in family units of three during part of the year—an adult male and a female and their one offspring. The bright and broken coloration of these bats may be a form of camouflage to protect them, as they have been reported to blend in with dried leaves and flowers when they roost. They're insectivores who hunt at night.
Nature, you're weird sometimes.
Imagine being cleaning staff in that office. You accidentally drop something during your night shift. All the chairs start driving themselves across the room at 4 AM while you're completely alone in the building.
"Heart attack" would be an understatement for the reaction I'd have.
"Goodbye" exists because of 15th century chatspeak. It's a highly abbreviated version of "God be with ye"
Most reported problems: app (72%) ....well if that ain't a clear statement.
"You just turned 100 today - what's your secret to a long life?" - No matter what the answer will be, I guarantee you that there are millions of people in the world who do the exact same and still die young. But yeah, of course aunt Margharet only managed to live an entire century because she ate three cans of surströmming every week, no doubt. Genetics, healthcare and lifestyle have nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.
Edit/addendum: Weird specific example
Something similar was also my no.1 pet peeve on reddit whenever people argued about how the Blood Moon works in Breath of the Wild. It's an in-game timer of roughly 3 hours, but the game does not tell you about it, nor does it display the timer, and back when the game code wasn't cracked yet, there were a LOT of outrageously weird theories about how to allegedly make the Blood Moon appear.
So you just "made" a BM happen by running straight into a wall for 3 hours? Yes you got a BM, but not "because" you were running into a wall for 3 hours, but because the effing timer was up. The game does not care for WHAT you do in that time.
So you reloaded and ran into a wall again and the BM happened again? It is STILL not because you ran into a wall - you rewinded the effing timer by reloading a save file from before the event you're trying to trigger, and then the timer was up again. (They never bothered to check whether it would happen if they did not try to trigger it with their chosen tactic)
It is really really hard to try and convince these people that they're wrong, because once they're convinced that a specific action yields a specific result, they WILL keep doing it over and over again until it "works" and then see it as proof. But by the same logic you can also throw tomatoes at a wall until it starts to rain and then claim that the rain happened because you just threw 547 tomatoes against a wall. And then you continue to throw tomatoes because it "worked" last time ... and if it doesn't rain then you just didn't throw enough tomatoes yet.
Cashier here. I managed to outwardly stay friendly and nice during the first wave of Covid, even tho at least 70% of our customers had managed to turn into the most insufferable nuisances in the history of mankind. It was especially exhausting when they started to bulk-buy toilet paper and literally everyone had some sort of super lame excuse why they NEEEEEEED eight packs at once and why we definitely SHOULD make an exception to the "one pack per customer" rule specifically for them.
If you have the same old discussion fourhundredandeightyseven times a day, it gets old pretty fast. But you can't just tell them to STFU without risking your job, soo ... well. It was simply exhausting.
One day I had a proper Karen at the register, who tried to tell me that she was buying the second pack for her poor old neightbor lady which allegedly had a broken hip and couldn't walk to the store herself (you know, because if you have a broken hip you DEFINITELY stay at home instead of the hospital and definitely also use the toilet yourself, no issues here ....) and she simply refused to leave the register. I was honestly contemplating whether I should call security and have her removed when the guy behind her looked at me and said:
"Well, that lady definitely needs twice as much toilet paper as others ..... because judging by the amount of shit that just came out of her mouth, she's got assholes on both ends."
It took all of my remainig willpower to not laugh. Imagine the "Biggus Dickus" scene from the Life of Brian for a mental image of how hard I tried to keep a straight face. Karen got red, huffend and left without buying either pack, and that delightfully snarky guy has been my favorite customer ever since. I might or might not sometimes "accidentally" swipe my own tag across the scanner to give him an employee discount...
"Fun" Fact: that chart isn't even a joke - it is actually, factually, pretty accurate. You can get a prison sentence of up to 3 years for that particular gesture.
Gemäß § 86a Absatz 1 und 2 StGB ist es nicht erlaubt, nationalsozialistische Symbole, Grußformeln oder Parolen zu verwenden. Der Hitlergruß wird [...] mit bis zu drei Jahren Freiheitsstrafe geahndet
...on the other hand, it is a wonderful piece of irony that a joke about Germans turns out to be a non-joke in disguise, lol. German humor is no laughing matter, after all!
=P
I know it is supposed to say "Service Fee" but after reading your comment my brain is unable to read anything other than Service Egg now ....
Personally, I like the "alpha as in new software" approach: Alpha version = unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, prone to breakdown and not fit for the public.
It must be really hard to be an Onion 'reporter' these days, trying to come up with ridiculous nonsense that doesn't seem too far-fetched but is still crazy enough that people know it is meant to be satire and didn't actually happen. It used to be a fine line between those two sections, but .... well ... /gestures broadly at everything
the biggest pain in the ass
....that's because they're not meant for that, despite looking... uh ...similar.
Joke aside, that mess sure does look annoying, and it is probably also not easy to replace parts if one of those lines snap or get twisted too much.
I have a youtube account and was once accused of stealing content from my own reddit account, which had identical usernames. Plus the reddit account had a link to the youtube channel and vice versa.
... but even tho it was a bit of a brain fart, I still appreciate that people are looking out for potential content thieves. I'm not even mad - I'd rather get a false positive every now and then instead of having my content stolen (again).
When I had to move out (long, unpleasant story) I had the opportunity to get a nice, cozy appartement with low rent almost immediatly, but during the interview it turned out that they didn't allow pets and wouldn't budge, so it wasn't an option for me and I politely declined.
They still tried to pressure me into signing the rental contract - calling me multiple times a day to ask whether I wanted to rethink my former decision again, eventually giving me a 24 hour deadline and demanding that I sign ASAP or they would pick someone else. That was the point I told them to go F- themselves as I was NOT going to leave my 13 year old tomcat behind or surrender him to a shelter. They didn't take it well. (...and suddenly they claimed that noone else wanted the appartement and that they desperately needed someone to move in very soon yadda yadda ... so much for "we're going to pick someone else if you don't sign today".)
Best decision I've made that year. The landlord I have now is a super chill dude and I still have my spoiled furry little bastard with me. I'd rather have lived on the street than leaving a four-legged family member behind.
No idea what became of the other appartement but I pity the people who will have to put up with that passive-aggressive nonsense for lack of alternatives.