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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)
submitted 23 hours ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I dunno, i am very partial to this one

https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/

For more evidence of our time-honored journalistic commitment to endangering lives, please see our previous coverage of gay people, immigrants, Black people, and women.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 9 points 14 hours ago

Signed by the whole editorial board

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 20 hours ago

I said one of the best, not the best. There are other terrific ones too like https://theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529/

[-] FigMcLargeHuge@sh.itjust.works 12 points 19 hours ago
[-] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Fuck this one was funny

[-] TIN@feddit.uk 9 points 17 hours ago

https://theonion.com/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-1819584036/

That one, for me, although I also note that 5 blade razors are now a thing...

But you know what happened next? Shut up, I’m telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades.

this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
349 points (96.3% liked)

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