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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I dunno, i am very partial to this one

https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/

For more evidence of our time-honored journalistic commitment to endangering lives, please see our previous coverage of gay people, immigrants, Black people, and women.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 13 points 2 months ago

Signed by the whole editorial board

[-] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 2 points 2 months ago

The only two I can read are Ted's and Steve's (and Joe's first name?), but the only one I know is Ted. Who are the others?

[-] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 2 points 2 months ago

I believe that the first one is (fictional) The Onion publisher T. Herman Zweibel, the second one is hockey hall-of-famer Joe Sakic (who wore jersey number 19), and the 5th one looks like Mary Kay Letourneau (who infamously got pregnant with her 12-year-old student). Number 4, I can't make out.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 months ago

Steve Hannah is the old CEO of the onion, I've been trying to figure out the rest

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this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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