405
Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)
submitted 2 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
52 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I dunno, i am very partial to this one

https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/

For more evidence of our time-honored journalistic commitment to endangering lives, please see our previous coverage of gay people, immigrants, Black people, and women.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 13 points 2 months ago

Signed by the whole editorial board

[-] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 2 points 2 months ago

The only two I can read are Ted's and Steve's (and Joe's first name?), but the only one I know is Ted. Who are the others?

[-] SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social 2 points 2 months ago

I believe that the first one is (fictional) The Onion publisher T. Herman Zweibel, the second one is hockey hall-of-famer Joe Sakic (who wore jersey number 19), and the 5th one looks like Mary Kay Letourneau (who infamously got pregnant with her 12-year-old student). Number 4, I can't make out.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 months ago

Steve Hannah is the old CEO of the onion, I've been trying to figure out the rest

load more comments (5 replies)
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
405 points (96.6% liked)

The Onion

5561 readers
437 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social