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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

It's the god damn hippos.

All we need to do is domesticate hippos

Have you seen a hippopotamus? No one fucks with a hippopotamus. They're the most dangerous animal in Africa. Their skulls are like a dinosaur fucked an alien. Look.

Hippos are also super brave. They will take on anyone, even animals armed with razor sharp claws and teeth. They will fuck.

You.

Up.

That last one was definitely a real photo. Hippos will bite you on the bum. Be careful.

If we harness this power, the capitalists won't stand a chance. You can't even nuke a hippo, they don't give a fuck. They'll eat that shit and keep going. Their blubber is like armour and they sweat sunscreen (look it up), so that radiation isn't even a problem.

They can swim. Imagine an army of these fuckers arriving on the shores of Florida, a whole army ready to go.

Best of all? They're vegetarians. That's right. They're vegan approved, baby.

Yum yum get that in your tum big guy.

So let's get to work, comrades. The future is hippo based communism.

Pictured: the future

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[-] Angel@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

Best of all? They're vegetarians. That's right. They're vegan approved, baby.

nerd Well, ackchyually, domestication and exploiting animals for human purposes goes against the principle of veganism

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago

Fuuuuuck.

Uh. Maybe we can convince the hippos to team up with us as equals?

[-] Angel@hexbear.net 9 points 4 days ago

Pffft, yeah right. They're going to be our overlords whether you like it or not.

We're the ones who are gonna be bred into revolutionary war machines, not them.

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

Oh shit oh fuck

this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
47 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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