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[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 27 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

As a young person who likes drinking, drinking with people from work is not something I find appealing at all. Also, bars are expensive in general so I rarely find myself going out to drink anyways, rather grab a bunch of cheap shit from the liquor store and host or bring it to a friend's house who is hosting.

Edit note: I also have never really felt the appeal of needing to make work friends or socialize hard with people from work. I don't outright reject it and I like most people I work with but I was also able to maintain most of my friends from middle school, high school, and college while also having hobby-specific friends I'm more likely to hang out with due to overlapping interests most of my classmates in college didn't become friends except from my language minor where the was a deep connected passion. I mostly found friends from that and luck with roommates during college and haven't really needed to make new friends since my junior year of college.

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 29 points 4 days ago

but I was also able to maintain most of my friends from middle school, high school, and college while also having hobby-specific friend

what the fuck dark wizardry is this

[-] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 24 points 4 days ago

They might still be in their 20s and everyone hasn't moved away or had kids yet.

[-] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 17 points 4 days ago

Different strokes. I’m pushing 40 and still have my core group of friends from elementary/high school and my group from undergrad. Most of us have kids too. Then again, I can count all of them with just two hands. We truly view each other as an extended family.

[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago

I do think some tend to have better odds with this over others. I do expect some of these connections to falter a bit once some of my friends have kids (I personally don't want any) but some have managed 20 years already, and due to circumstances are likely to last longer so unless something truly tragic happens I expect them to.

[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

Mid 20s so yes. Several have tried moving away but many move back due to a lot of people parents owning their houses and being given the option to move home for either free or much lower rent than living at home. Some have moved away but I live very (within 2 hours) close to two very large metropolitan areas so those that have moved away tend to migrate to those two places and it's just an 1-2 hour drive. So we still see each other fairly often. I technically have moved away from my home town so I'm further out than most but it's still a 30 minute drive.

[-] peppersky@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago

I also have never really felt the appeal of needing to make work friends or socialize hard with people from work

this will lead to communism

[-] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I get you’re taking the piss, but isn’t work under the western neoliberal service economy especially isolating? Not many people are working closely with a consistent set of people who all live in the same local area. Not saying you shouldn’t socialize with people at work though, please do that. Fight the atomizing forces of capital.

[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Me saying I don't feel the need to probably wasn't how I meant to word it. If I was to use an analogy it's like how sometimes you might not get the urge to eat but you haven't eaten anything for a day so know you should. I don't feel the hungry so mostly do so out of recognizing I should or out of service to others since I know not everyone has the same situational benefits I do.

Edit: I think my other reply to the comment above touches upon what you say here btw, outside of work meetings and occasionally going onsite to some company we have zero downtown to just interact unless it's a slow day or us shitposting in a GC we have during tickets.

[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 5 points 4 days ago

I mean most people at my job work from home and are busy taking user tickets (which need to be done within a time limit) from other companies because I do MSP work. Even if I wanted to socialize with my coworkers outside of shitposting (the posts never stop!) in the tech GC I couldn't. I'm just not deeply upset and lonely from lack of socialization due to having my needs met elsewhere. Even if I wanted to socialize with them I couldn't due to the structure of my work, I just don't find the situation depressing because I have others I socialize with.

[-] ChestRockwell@hexbear.net 13 points 4 days ago

Depends very much on who and what kind of job. When I delivered pizzas, a pint with the other drivers was a nice unwind - complain about work, talk sports, eat some snacks.

I've also enjoyed colleague drink nights with my fellow teachers, though it's a bit more subdued, especially when the boss joins in.

[-] MizuTama@hexbear.net 7 points 4 days ago

Depends very much on who and what kind of job. When I delivered pizzas, a pint with the other drivers was a nice unwind - complain about work, talk sports, eat some snacks.

Fair enough, I can see that. I would probably duck work and most school social events but did hang out with people from some classes otherwise due to having grown up in a fairly small town that is just outside two large metropolitan areas, I've been pretty lucky to never feel like I was lacking friends as no one really "moves away" and everyone I knew growing up tends to always be within 2 hours (usually closed to 1 hour-30 minutes) travel if we really want to hang out so I find myself very lazy with voluntary socializing. I'm also not into more mainstream hobbies so I'm typically just being a polite conversationalist with most people when socializing with new people unless I can pinpoint something of mutual interest.

this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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