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Dianne Feinstein No Longer Dead at Age 90 - California under mandatory FEMA evacuation order (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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If you see Dianne Feinstein, DO NOT approach it.

If Dianne Feinstein speaks to you or makes nondirected noises, DO NOT listen to it.

If someone has had postmortem contact with Dianne Feinstein, REPORT them to the nearest military official and DO NOT risk bodily contact even to render first aid.

Californians still within the evacuation zone by 0900 on 30 September 2023 risk indiscriminate military action. Bombardment will continue across the evacuation zone until Dianne Feinstein is once more verified dead at age 90.

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[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago

Don't you tell me what to do. I have rights.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago

Any civilian within the evacuation zone after 0900 on 30 September 2023 will be presumed to have had postmortem contact with Dianne Feinstein. This may result in detention, medical examination, or intentional/unintentional military action against you.

[-] Magician@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

Damnit I'm gonna go to Applebee's and no government order is going to stop me

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

At this point we're all going to be exposed to Dianne Feinstein and if no one else is going to take precautions I don't see why I should have to either.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

If you are exposed to Dianne Feinstein, IMMEDIATELY flee the area. Thoroughly wash all exposed skin. Remove clothing worn at the time and burn it. NOTIFY the nearest military official about exposure.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Dianne Feinstein is no more dangerous than the flu or riding in a car.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

I heard reports of Long Liberal developing after exposure; the infected chanting "Blue Wave!" and "Joe Biden is the most progressive president since FDR!"

Can't we agree to all work together and Flatten ~~The Curve~~ Dianne Frankenstein?