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2024 Predictions
(hexbear.net)
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this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Biden and Trump die on the podium, most likely at the same time
X re-renamed to Twitter
Hillary loses to Trump's vice president pick
turtles are declared an antisemitic dogwhistle
botched coup attempts
Russia makes small, but noticeable gains against Ukraine by the end of the year.
Sanctions are declared, backfire
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won't vote for them
von der Leyen decrees shoot on sight on EU borders, critics will say it doesn't go far enough
An additional pandemic
More Gazan children are murdered, somebody (most likely Fetterman) explains why that's a good thing and extremely humanitarian
Vaush explodes and takes out Haz somehow
The FDP's vote on the traffic light coalition actually ended with a narrow majority against dissolving the government, so it seems it will not collapse yet. The rest seems about right, except for the assumption the SPD won't vote for the worst laws "with stomach pains" (as is often mocked).
imagined being named after the most annoying part of transit. I guess spd will be like democrats (TINA for voters)
also don't underestimate their cravenness, they might still collapse in summer once Merz farts in Scholz' general direction and fdp chuddies lose it