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this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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It wasn't until I learned how to cook for myself that I realized how truly bland the """food""" is here.
Folks? They don't rinse their canned beans! They use ketchup as a barbecue sauce! Black pepper is too spicy!
I always thought "white people eat bland food" was a stupid stereotype, or perhaps something from Mexico, Korea, Thailand, or some other place that eats hot food, and that by bland they just meant "not hot". In my experience white people in Hawai'i didn't really eat more or less bland food than everyone else.
Then I went to the Midwest
Where I'm from is whiter than old dog shit but the "local" cuisines at least have flavor and spice.
It was wild the first time I got a slice in the Midwest and they somehow managed to have three distinct layers of bread, sauce, and toppings which somehow were completely distinct and did not interact with each other at all.
It should be considered a skill to be able to cook the flavor out of stuff the way they do.
Hmm, how should we cook broccoli? Should we grill it? Fry it? Bake it?
No!
Boil that shit until it turns green-grey and serve it with several tbsp of butter!
What if we find a way to cook it that not only makes it taste like stale water it also removes half the nutrients from it?
The butter is the most flavourful thing on the plate
The Midwest blended the blandest foods from Germany, England, and France.
Texmex has slowly infiltrated but the Midwestern pallet can't handle it.
aka the whitest place on earth: "mid" and "west"
The Midwest: where garlic is considered an exotic, extreme flavor
Actually I found out that Italians are fucking garlic-phobic compared to anyone from Chicago. Like they cut out the middle of their singular garlic clove and throw it away because it has some more flavor in it