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Fatherly hazing
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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Embarrassing someone for not knowing something is stupid.
It's critical thinking. In life, it's not always about knowing but about understanding.
It's also about having thick skin and the ability to take a joke. Nobody is hurt, it is funny when you think about it, and it will encourage you to think about things in the future.
I do not need to know turn signals don't require blinker fluid. Because it's a fuckin light bulb.
The people in this comments section are acting like this is somehow traumatic. How fucking sheltered are you people?
Yeah it’s often done a bit to get you used to the environment which includes joking, but it’s also to make you think before you do.
We told the dumbass that worked with us at Wal-Mart he needed to fill up the water fountain. He made 3 trips to the hose and back with one of those big Gatorade coolers dumping it down the drain on the fountain before someone asked him what he was doing. It was hilarious. If it wasn't for the entertainment value he provided I would have hated that guy for all the problems he caused being an idiot.
Someone sure picked on this guy for not knowing something and now he's rationalising it.
Just someone with life experience 🤷♂️
And honestly I'm just amazed at how thin skinned people are that they're labeling a harmless joke as traumatizing. If you really need everything in life explained to you, expect to not get very far.
Aww cry more about it. I'm an LGBTQ refugee that fled Russia. Most of my life I've lived under the constant very present fear of deportation, death or at least homelessness, just to hold on another day. What's worse is I fled to the UK, which looks more and more like Russia every day.
Very little bothers me personally and if anything I have developed an unhealthy habit of thriving on conflict, but that doesn't prevent me from empathising with others and seeing how some things affect people differently.
It's called going outside and touching grass and realising people have different contexts for things and that the world is very harsh and parents need not pile on that shit for a kid who may already have trust and confidence issues and viewing things systemically - using actual critical thinking - rather than simply humble bragging about how "tough" you are and how everyone else must be thin skinned and weak.
It's a slippery slope to reactionary thinking of "good" and "bad" people and that makes it way worse than just macho posturing. I hope you can see my perspective but good day either way.
And nowhere in there did you touch on how sending a kid to the store for striped paint could somehow cause trauma, rather than teach a valuable lesson about gullibility, critical thinking, and being able to laugh at one's self.
Not everything in this world is as serious as escaping a country to avoid punishment or death for who you are. Having the emotional intelligence to differentiate between the serious and light hearted is something a person should develop when they're young or life will be much harder for them.
Because it was already stated in the thread: parents shouldn't lie to their children to take advantage of their trust to teach them that trusting them leads to them set up for embarrassment and that they're an idiot. Idk how this isn't obvious but I guess beating kids was acceptable and reasonable too.
That's absurd, what's funny and light-hearted to one is usually at the expense of another (in this case), and sans reading their mind, you have no idea how they feel about your "just banter bro",, you're just assuming this because you have no ability to imagine that anyone at any time might feel differently to you and you're scared to confront that idea.
I'm not saying that harmless playful teasing is impossible or should be banned, but this doesn't really come off as that, and the experiences ITT don't either, especially with descriptions of such things as "hazing" which often also includes things that are without question just violent abuse/bullying.
To understand something (critically think) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example of the kid embarrassing the parent for some tech thing they don't know.
The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
Yeah. In this case you'd need to know that paint is a liquid, and comes in a can. Is it logical that paint is going to come in stripes? How would that be applied to a brush? How would that be applied to a wall?
If you take 2 seconds to think you realize this is a nonsensical request.
If you think everything in this world needs to be explained to you, you aren't going to get very far. Also an important lesson to learn.
Learning to use a software interface, or the intricacies of how a thing works is not necessarily dependant on critical thinking. Understanding that a light bulb is not powered by blinker fluid, or that a liquid paint could not possibly be sold and applied to a wall in stripes is dependent on critical thinking.
Idk, they do have peanut butter and jelly in the same jar!
I would imagine the paint is just somehow not mixed. But the horizontal and vertical throws me off because it can obviously be both
Right? Orientation set by direction of brush strokes.
Well, clearly the kid in this story was able to figure it out.
People who think they know everything don't ask questions. Asking questions is part of critical thinking.
Guess who think they know everything?
Who asks questions? The ones that feel safe asking them.
The ones that get set up and embarrassed? They learn to never ask anything because they'll get laughed at.
These types of light hazing are actually trying to lower the stakes. The greybeards get to tell the stories of when they were young and dumb going on snipe hunts. we all make mistakes, developing the ability to laugh at YOURSELF is important. Its an inoculation against embarrassment. If someone is so prideful that they cant stand to ever be wrong, when the make a mistake that matters, they will try to hide it and that is when things go from bad to worse.
They will hide mistakes when mistakes are not accepted. When they will be punished or laughed at for making mistakes. So which parent will kids trust? The one that sets them up to be embarrassed? Or the one that is safe to approach?
There are plenty of mistakes in life, you really don't need to set up your kids to make even more. All you're teaching your kid is that they can't trust you, to whatever degree.
I need you to hold this spark plug wire for me for a second.
JFC. You're minimizing actual abuse and trauma.
This, it's the taking it to extremes that's making people down vote.
There's a large difference between some light ribbing with friends/family and someone being an abusive ass.
I have a good friend who can be very easily triggered by any sort of joke that could potentially be taken as an insult. I am very sure it's because his parents and older siblings were assholes to him growing up, but also partially he hasn't seemingly grown/learned to not take himself so seriously all the time.
Here's an example of a funny situation that he had extremely negative reaction to, we were having a daily short meeting where we clap at the end as a group (like 12 or so people total) and he walks up right at the end of the meeting and says, "I came just in time to catch the clap." Laughter ensues. Feelings are hurt and I then spent my lunch break talking him down from his anger/resentment for the group members and explaining how while yes it's sorta on him because of his poor wording, it was legit funny and people laughing about it isn't an insult, he could have laughed along when he realized what he said.
The problem was two fold, he didn't understand why it was funny, and he thought people were laughing AT him. Was it ABUSIVE HAZING? not at all
Wow that's an extreme generalization lmao
I shouldn't bother engaging with you either. You throw around the word abuse, when talking about a joke regarding striped paint, I honestly dont know where to start with that kind of mentality. Here I go anyway. Constant insults can be abusive, yes. Belittling a child is abusive, absolutely. Striped paint or left handed screw drivers are not that. I am actually raising kids, I am there for them when they need it. When they are in a stable place, I push them to grow. Sometimes that means going a bit farther on our hikes, sometimes it means sounding out the word themselves, or working out the math problem for themself, and sometimes it means pushing them to handle their emotions better. Sometimes it means learning to take a joke.
You're getting down voted but you're not wrong. This was me until high-school. Luckily I had a couple really good teachers who always said there was no such thing as a stupid question as long as you're asking genuinely and backed it up by giving genuine answers even in unrelated topics. Helped me grow confident and love to learn. I was never a dumb student just had a lot of anxieties and self esteem issues.
I understand a bit of chiding and light hazing can also help but it should never be overly mean and it shouldn't be a blanket technique. Some people just work differently.
Yeah the downvotes are quite surprising.