The image shows a shop shelf, with a rip-off cheap toy, based loosely on the Transformers cartoon. The toy is called "Deformed Car".

These men have very similar aims.

"National Black Cat Day was created by Cats Protection on 27 October 2011 to help celebrate the majesty of monochrome moggies and beautiful black cats. When the campaign was launched, statistics revealed that black and black-and-white cats took, on average, seven days longer to find a home compared to cats of other colours."

Cats Protection - National Black Cat Day

Picture: Two of the semi-feral black kittens that were born in our garden, who were neutered, microchipped, vaccinated and re-homed.

Let's see your black cats 🐈‍⬛️

Ahead of a timely re-airing of Mick Jackson’s famously bleak, rarely seen docudrama, its director recalls why he unleashed a mushroom cloud on Sheffield in 1984, while our writer explores the film’s lasting legacy

"If Michael Gove really wants to root out the forces threatening British society, perhaps his party should look in the mirror"

There's a man on my train this morning, and he's listening to stuff out loud on his phone, like fully out loud, not even slightly subtle. The train is in Britain. He keeps listening to 5 seconds of an annoying song, then switching to another song. It sort of sounds like kids TV music. He appears dressed to go work in a fancy office or something, and this is a morning commuter train, so I don't think he's escaped from a prison or mental hospital.

Anyway, amongst myself and another couple of hundred quiet passengers, we've tried everything:

• tutting and rolling our eyes
• harrumphing, whingeing and sighing
• when a bloke got on the train with headphones on, someone said loudly "Isn't it great when someone wears headphones? They can listen to whatever they like and nobody else has to hear it"
• sometimes it stops for a minute, and there's a widespread muttering of "Ooh, thank god that's over with"
• followed by an en-masse groan when it starts again "Oh no, not this again!"
• a lady on the phone saying loudly "Sorry, I can't hear what you're saying, because someone is being inconsiderate and playing music really loudly"
• saying to one another, loudly enough for the man to hear "isn't it annoying when someone plays their music out loud? I wish he'd stop doing that"
• muttering aggressive words, under our breath, in his general direction "prick", "wanker" "knobhead", "bellend"
• Someone getting onto the train, and not sitting at his table and saying "God, I'd rather stand than sit next to that prick", loud enough for him to hear.
• the ticket-checking man rolled his eyes, but didn't do anything

I think generally we're running out of ideas. I heard someone behind me mentioning they were thinking about "sparking him out", and someone else had suggested they might grab his phone and throw it out the window.

I was toying with the idea of going nuclear on him, and directly but politely asking him to turn it down, but it's a bit early for that kind of extreme behaviour. Perhaps I should throw something at his head?

Anyway, anyone who's been in a similar situation have any suggestions?

[Update] The train got full, so people were standing all the way down the aisle. Three people sat on the table next to him.

Opposite him, an older woman stared at him and shook her head at him, in a gesture I interpreted as "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed". He put his phone in his pocket and stared out the window. I gave her the subtlest of nods, to communicate "thank you" and "good job".

So we're safe, this time - but I'm still interested in solutions, as something like this could happen again!

My son says it means taking out the player without getting the ball, all while shouting ‘Brexit means Brexit’. Sound familiar?

For the umpteenth time, my son, with an Ikea stuffed ball he has had since infancy, is playing football in the living room. He is joined by one of his best friends, an equally football-obsessed 10-year-old who, before slide-tackling in what can only be described as a deliberate attempt to knock my son’s legs off, shouts: “Brexit means Brexit!” Confused, I pass it off as an example of tweenage precocity: which 10-year-old is happy to quote Theresa May while playing football?

I must admit, this gives me some hope for the future.

Cats Protection UK Website - National Black Cat Day

I include a complementary picture of a black cat in a carrier bag.

Three cats spread over the stairs, staring at the camera person, blocking access to the upstairs. (Actually they're just waiting for someone to throw the fuzzy ball for them to chase).

Photo is from about a year ago, when the cats learnt that as well as "on the bed" and "under the duvet", if you explored the area where the buttons were, there was also "inside the duvet cover".