Why the fuck are you libs still using capitalist economic terminology to describe intimate, consensual acts between real human beings?

Fuck off with this "job" nonsense and learn to kill the boss in your head.

A handjob alignment chart will resolve this dispute.

Lauren Boebert: “I consent!”

Her date: “I consent!”

Everyone else in attendence of Beetlejuice: The Musical: “I don’t!”

Isn’t there someone you forgot to ask?

Does this count as reading theory?

Let’s make this more complicated and harder to agree on:

Intent matters when considering an act. Was she simply teasing him, giving a quick squeeze of affirmation? Or was she due to the constraints of public decency laws rubbing over the pants with the intent of causing him to finish?

The video is not clear, we can not know if it was a mere bit of fondling or in possession of the intent required to qualify as a job.

Jetjob is a novel concept and I applaud the advances this discussion is leading to in jobology.

If you think over the pants isn't a handjob, you aren't a leftist.

(I flipped a coin to figure out which side I was on)

Certified analysis. Proof:

"b-b-but WDYMP, the hot tub isn't sentient, it can't give you a job!" Let's get one thing straight, if you had your hands over the edge of a hot tub and your partner was pushing your crotch into a jet stream, that would be a type of job. The solution, my compromise for the haters and losers, is what I would like to call the jetjob.

1. Marx would agree, for are machines not mimicking the motions of the masters?

The machine proper is therefore a mechanism that, after being set in motion, performs with its tools the same operations that were formerly done by the workman with similar tools. Whether the motive power is derived from man, or from some other machine, makes no difference in this respect. From the moment that the tool proper is taken from man, and fitted into a mechanism, a machine takes the place of a mere implement.

To continue your line of thinking...

It would be a normal jetjob if they're pushing you via hands on the buttox into a water jet, and a reverse jetjob if they're using their feet. It would be a backwards jetjob if your back is facing the water jet. This also expands the capacity for a combo jobs because your crotch is facing your partner.

2. Once again, Marx notes how the human body has limited number of hands, arms, etc...

The difference strikes one at once, even in those cases where man himself continues to be the prime mover. The number of implements that he himself can use simultaneously, is limited by the number of his own natural instruments of production, by the number of his bodily organs. In Germany, they tried at first to make one spinner work two spinning-wheels, that is, to work simultaneously with both hands and both feet. This was too difficult. Later, a treddle spinning-wheel with two spindles was invented, but adepts in spinning, who could spin two threads at once, were almost as scarce as two-headed men.

...But indeed if we could use machines...

This would be the exciting introduction of the triple job if they're using a hand, their mouth, and the water jet.

3. ...Marx states we could transcend such limits!

The Jenny, on the other hand, even at its very birth, spun with 12-18 spindles, and the stocking-loom knits with many thousand needles at once. The number of tools that a machine can bring into play simultaneously, is from the very first emancipated from the organic limits that hedge in the tools of a handicraftsman.

As such, as you state, QED:

I propose that, upon climax in such a fashion, one would exclaim "Tic tac toe, three in a row!"

Source: Das Kapital Chapter 15 section 1

A blowjob is when one or more partners perform oral sex on a partner with a penis. A handjob is manual manipulation of a partner’s penis done by one or more partners.

Curiously the performance of oral sex on a partner along the labia and vaginal opening is not considered a job of any kind. Similarly, digital manipulation of those same locations are not called a job either.

Even more puzzling is the oral stimulation of another’s anus is in fact called a rimjob.

In this video essay I’ll…

It's recently come out that, on September 10th,

Fuck, just one day away from being so much funnier…

Improperly definining a hand job was a primary cause of the Sino-Soviet split. Thank you for bringing this to the community's attention.

in the hot tub please

When she was talking about "creating jobs", I didn't realize this is what she meant.

our posters are highly educated. they know posting. they know the best posts. there's no better post than our posts

lmao

I'll put my lot in with the "it's a handjob" crowd, having given a few.

So where is the line on what is a hand job/sex in general? Is any touching of the general genital area a hand job? Seems overly broad. What if, hypothetically ( the hand is held a quarter inch over the genital area, with the intent of causing arousal, is that a hand job?

That being said , whether or not an over the pants counts doesn't change the fact that what Lauren Boebert did was just a casual feel. The kind of thing you were doing in seventh grade. Ladies and gentlemen and envies get a sense of perspective. That's not a hand job. That's a tease which will cause partial arousal at most.

Tldr, you are so wrong and I'm the one true leftist

An OTPHJ is a handjob, but I think it should always be qualified as such. If someone says "handjob" unqualified I'm going to assume there's no (or very minimal) intervening fabric, which is the issue with the original post's title

No, you have to wrap your fingers around the hog for it to be a hojo. You can’t just rub it like you’re sanding a dresser, commonly referred to as a “Kansas City rub down,” you have to grasp the hog like you want it!

all i'm gonna say is that if you wanna fuck around in public please do everyone the courtesy of going into the bathroom and cutting a hole in the stall so people can use it after you. i hate when people pull up the ladder after they cum

Unlocked new hexbear lore: Handjob Struggle Session

Under-pants handjobs vs Over-pants handjobs

I agree with you but I have to ask where the line is. What if it was over like, a metal codpiece where they don't actually feel anything but they're aroused by the idea of it? How many layers of clothing does it take before it's no longer a handjob?

huh.

im not calling it a job of any sort because i dont want to work.

these posts are the reason i come here. we have the best posts and the best posters.

EVERYONE KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM OR THIS OTPHJ IS GOING TO BE AN RIPHJ

This is the amount of writing necessary to not get volcel police called

Just like President's Clinton statement "I did not have sex with that woman"... It was a blowjob, but not sex 😆

handjobs aren't sex

annnd post