Realising more and more how this is related to my ADD.

Forms are just hell for me. The things I have to sign at every new doctor or dentist, government agency forms, residency, new ID, sign the kid up for an activity, ...

I end up asking myself: "What do they want to hear?"

This year at a new dentist, first appointment, they wouldn't let me see him before I finished the forms, and when I had them done, he didn't have time for me anymore. I got in early! There was also a misunderstanding of whether I say when I'm done or they call me in.

A really odd exception are tax forms. I have a business and do my own taxes, but the forms make perfect sense to me. Of course I know the answers to: How much money did I take, how much of that was VAT, what were my expenses and in what category, what percentage did a major purchase lose in value when I bought it in March and its assumed lifetime is 7 years. It's my business, those are very reasonable questions, unlike those on doctor, government agency or school forms. Those would ask things such as: What is the exact date when the child benefit switched from the other parent to you, on what legal grounds did it switch, how many back and forth switches were there, and why? Provide a list with reasons and the address of the department that handled the request at the time.

One possible explanation is that the tax forms are done like a personal interest in hyperfocus. But I think another reason is that there are very powerful lobbyists who want their taxes to be simple and make sense. So a mix of objectively simpler and an ADHD thing.

Regarding UIs, I learned in the early days of web design that ONE menu is what a website should have. That works best for me. The modern sites with a menu on top, side menu, gadgets, menu left, not sure if one of the side menu is subcategories of the top menu or its own thing ...

I'm a backend developer, and 15 years ago, it was a good thing that I liked to work with a console / CLI whenever possible. But these days, a lot happens in UIs. Jenkins, Nexus, Github, Kibana, .... Do an image search for "Jenkins UI", for example. Why are they even all different? Different config, context, hidden menu?

When people try to explain it to me and go like "just click pipeline", the only chance to find it is ctrl+F, and when it's a button or image with text, I'm lost. They have to lead me like: Mouse a little more to the right, now go up, too far, back down, little more left - click!

A coworker in pair programming always stops me when I want to enter a git command in the console and is like: "Oh, you don't have to do that anymore! Just go to the IDE, now click the icon with the tree, ... no, not that one. Left. Well, obviously not the project tree, less left. Down now, where the other icons are ... no, the tree! The tree! Great, now see the new thing that pops up. Just go to the dropdown - no, the NEW dropdown. Pick the one that says whatever, now all you have to do is ..." And that is supposed to be easier that entering a quick command? Even when I have to look up the help, it'd be faster!

Are you like that as well, or is it not relatable?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/36687084

(my context: I feel like my ADHD is a bit close to AuDHD, but doesn't have the consistency to make it on an official psychological evaluation. I experience a feeling of being 'broken in the head' to some degree. Examples include being fine with eating the same favorite meals for over a month, at least once a day. Sometimes twice a day. Another example would be the starting and stopping that I do. This applies to E V E R Y T H I N G, outside of the human basics.

Want to start a business? Boy do I! 3-48 hours later... Yeah I don't think this is gonna work out... I'm just gonna get all depressed that I feel hopeless, and probably have another business idea in about a week to a month later.

Want to check off one of your bucket list items that seems like I might as well do them while I have all the time in the world, while you're in between jobs? Boy do I! Which one should I pick..? Does it really matter? **....I guess you're right brain. I'll start in on learning how to make a video game for the... checks notes ...27th time in my life.

Want to start selling t-shirt designs and give up on it 1.5 months later? Boy do I!

As you can see... it just keeps on going around and around and around.

Thanks for coming to my Vent Talk.)

Every morning I spend 12 seconds making a ranked list of priorities for my day so that I can hyper focus on something else.

cross-posted from: https://disabled.social/users/DivergentDumpsterPhoenix/statuses/115278569449740104

Further exploration on the topic of Autistic burnout and it's connection to psychosis.

https://bit.ly/46rZljw

#ActuallyAutistic #autism #ADHD #AutisticBurnout #MentalHealth @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy @mentalhealth@newsmast.community @mentalhealth@lemmy.world @mentalhealth@a.gup.pe

I mean, seriously: Now that I'm in treatment, that is how I finally contain the messes! Clothes in the laundry basket, not flying around everywhere, shoes stuffed all in one place (that is even a god-damn shoe rack!) dirty dishes IN THE SINK (!!!), all the paper on the desk nicely in ONE stack ...

If that is rage bait, they sure got me.

The whole video makes no sense to me. Why does she have to throw away the shoes she likes? She looks like she has a decent income and can certainly afford a hobby that takes up as much space as 50 shoes. (I'm not like that, I have ONE pair, but to each their own.)

And what's up with the pens? I never have enough pens, wish I owned a glass of pens! I often consider buying a whole drawer of pens and thrown them around the house, but never get to it. How do you accidentally acquire so many working pens that you have to throw them out?

Hey there,

searching online for a solution.. did not work out quite well.

Can you recommend a good noise cancelling headphone (preferred inear), that is wired and ends with an USB-C connector?

I've never been so busy, I made the life altering decision to go back to college at 30 to get an engineering degree. I generally like math and I love building things and messing with electronics, it should be the perfect fit. But after starting at calc 2 and now doing 5 or 6 classes full time, working, and planning a wedding. I feel like I'm stretched thin.

I'll get off of school and my brain feels like molasses. I'm medicated but I still feel like everyone is learning at twice the speed as me while I reread the question to make sure I actually understand the wording.

There's some of you out there who are engineers, scientists, doctors with ADHD, who go out and do community stuff, go to the gym, live life and even socialize.

How? How do you do it? How do you keep up with such a constant schedule and try to understand new concepts every day on top of that? How do you not just curl into a ball and closing up into yourself to stop being overwhelmed?

I feel like I'm doing life on hard mode and it sucks

I have used many methods in my life, couldn't get enough of finding and trying more and more. And some worked, even pre-diagnosis.

But here is a new one that I just found recently after watching Dr. K. here, and reading about Rubicon model in more detail.

When to use

• Already got a todo-list
• hard time getting started

General idea

Create internal motivation, rather than the pain of being driven by external motivation, such as deadlines or hunger.

How to do it

• Take the todo-list
• Look at each of the items for 30 seconds and run a "simulation" in your mind: What would it be like to start that now, what would be the effort/pain, and the short-term gain. Short-term gain is not when it is all done, but a few steps in. E. g. what it feels like when I just put the first piece of laundry into the machine. I even write notes about the "simulation".
• Then pick one, IF you really feel like it. Otherwise, back to your shows & Lemmy - have fun!

Example

Initial list:

• shopping
• laundry
• cleaning
• online form

List after "simulation" phase:

• shopping
  • get up from comfy chair
  • away from tea & cookies
  • shoes, bag
  • outside in the rain
  • at least would be on the way
  • probably a no
• laundry
  • get up
  • some spread around, collect
  • might just not do that one
  • pretty low effort,
  • feeling ok about it
• cleaning
  • do I even have the cleaner
  • probably better after shopping
  • nah, let's not
• online form
  • at least not getting up
  • one hell of an annoyance though
  • show could keep playing
  • might take 10 minutes
  • could do

Based on that, I'd pick the online form task and go.

It's weird, it makes no sense, but it works! This weekend, I got 6 out of the 10 things done I was supposed to do (better than 0, right?), but getting started required no discipline or pain. I just wanted to after doing the "simulations". Other semi-successful weekends, I had to force myself to do at least the ones that create the most pain when not done, and it hurt.

Like a budget hard drive after 6 months use, my memory is shot. I feel like I can barely remember anything.

I've been learning to code for the past 6 months and I have to periodically relearn all the concepts I had already learnt to implement them. I must mention that I am also trying to learn another language as well as do my full-time day job at the same time.

It feels like I am barely making any progress and that has been a shot in the arm to my confidence.

I don't want to feel like I suck at everything, the only thing I think I have going for myself is that I think I can improve myself.

Any tips to help with memory retention?

My ~~ND~~ NT husband will just like, play a game every once in a while when he feels like it. He'll just pick it up every so often, maybe play a few days in a week, and then leave it be again for a while to come back to later.

Meanwhile I will get into a game and spend every waking hour playing it. My sleep, diet, work, hygiene, all suffer to varying degrees. I give myself wrist pain and thumb calluses. I will not rest until I 100% it. And if I can't, I'll stop and most likely never pick it up again.

Anyway, anyone else playing Silksong?

I have never been able to set goals. Mostly because I'm working on 100 projects at once. But also because a goal could get changed by something outside of your control.

If I do try making goals, they usually just end up being "make more money so I can put it toward project #67 to maybe get closer to done". I've kind of had the goal of "learn to program" my whole life but never can get past chapter 2 of any class I take. I've kind of started a visual basic training but even once im done with that its not like i can go off and make a program that is useful. And game design requires such an insane e time commitment id have to stop all my other projects to even think about that route.

I guess a big part is I dont see a point in goals either. Everything is always dynamic so even if you reach a goal it may not even matter by the time you finish it.

My day job is mildly challenging but mostly easy. We have to set 4 goals a year but I usually just make them something im already doing (update how tos for certain tasks, take a business seminar class, etc).

And im only mildly adhd (so they say. I feel like its way worse, I just hide it very well).

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/31416567

... eating ice cream directly from the pint.

It always destroys spoons eventually, might as well use ones too sharp, too tinny, too light, the wrong shape, or with just the wrong bend in them already.

Edit: for all the head scratchers out there, it's a trait some of us neurodivergent folks have. Some forks or spoons or whatever are nice to hold, and some are actually upsetting to use.

Undiagnosed ADHD. Jobs get repetitive after the "training" phase.

My job is to replace smart gas meter devices. It involves a lot of driving, and repeating the same installation process 20+ times a day. Sometimes something interesting happens, but they are getting fewer and farther between. I've been there a couple months and I am getting burnt out from the repetition. As of right now, I usually watch videos or eat on my breaks.

Things I've considered:

• Podcasts (I'd have to use my own phone, and I feel like I'd get bored of these pretty quick)
• Music (I listen to music when I'm driving, but not during the installs. I could bring a bluetooth earpiece and listen all day, but again, I feel like I'd get burnt out/bored)
• Call someone (I dont have the social capacity to talk for 8 hours. I also have to ring doors and talk to residents)
• Give in to distractions (I can allow myself to stop and explore every so often, but not too often because I have a quota)

Have y'all found anything that helps throughout the day?

I’m not sure if this is part of the vanilla ADHD experience or if it is partially (or even mostly) the information overload landscape we now live in but:

Every time I set a serious goal such as losing a certain amount of weight or reaching a reading milestone every week, I utilize my note system to confirm it’s on my to-do list and get reminders from my calendar as well as reminders app to check in with it.

The problem is, by necessity my notes have to also be the destination for my random one-off ideas and brain dumps, not to mention being an archive for the graveyard of previous goals. The alternative is to not save this stuff at all and let a potentially good idea fly away forever. I stick to one short main digital note for the serious stuff and the literal to-do list, but in situations where either my phone or physical pad is not available I have to use the other as a temporary buffer and consolidate the notes to their correct locations later (I prefer digital thru phone for tasks and referential info and physical writing for journaling).

These temporary solutions have become the standard and I never remember where my actual goals are anymore. The calendar is okay but I’m usually out of the house when a reminder hits, and I’m definitely forgetting that by the time I get home.

I could liberate myself from this prison of my own making by forsaking every note of mine to the abyss and starting over, which sounds very spiritually attuned but I worry that I will simply create the same situation again by not addressing the root cause (my brain, forgetfulness, perfectionism, and habit structure, I could have LBS for all I know creating the brain fog in the first place as I haven’t had a blood panel in 5 years)

I could also pick one goal and stick with it in a critical disciplinary tough love sort of way until a single habit such as the gym sticks. I’ve actually done this before with the aforementioned as well as certifications for my job on a separate occasion. This tends to be my go-to, however some “emergency” usually wipes the importance I’m ascribing to the single habit such as a new debt collections letter or some car issues., making that transient situation the new active habit of militaristic focus.

By the time I get it sorted I’ve either forgotten my original goal or otherwise consider using the layover as a mulligan for something new that I now think is more important :|

So yeah these are the dilemmas, just want to know if y’all relate or want to share your own stories. Peace

My brain squirrels cannot sit still long enough to focus on an ordinary news/current affairs website. It's all so painfully slow and boring. There was (a long time ago) a java script wall of news from all over the world that updated in real time. It closed years ago and I never found anything similar. It was just a wonderful mosaic of headlines and stories that didn't sit still. The mosaic felt alive and if something caught your attention you better click on it before it turns into something else! You kind of see things like this in some movies, where they look at a wall of info on a big screen and everything is moving and updating. It's not waiting for clicks. You have to chase it! Is there anything like that or maybe a site that lets you construct a bunch of real time feeds that update constantly?

p.s. I realise that to many what I'm describing probably sounds like hell on earth but to my brain squirrels it would be heaven 🤣

(Update the first: Looks like the Feedbro Add-on in Firefox is the closest I'm going to get at the moment)

(Update the second: Thanks so much to geekwithsoul for finding that old javascript site I was talking about. I never thought I'd see it again. I've added a pic of what it looks like on my wide screen. Now that's what I call a wall of information ❤️)

Between school and working full time I have less than 0 energy to cook food when I get home. I also don't have the energy/time/attention span to pack a lunch most days. I've been eating like a raccoon for a month just waiting to feel up to meal prepping because this current pattern is bleeding me dry. What works for you?

Hey everyone, I'm hoping to get some advice for my partner.

She and I both have ADHD. She consistently has great difficulty communicating clearly and neither of us is sure what to do about it. Where an ideal narrative could be mapped in a straight line, hers would look like a series of loops, whorls, and jagged deviations as she frequently repeats herself, relays events out of order, changes topics inappropriately and without warning, omits entire parts of sentences, etc.

I love her so much so it pains me to say that it's bad. It's really, really bad, and I see how it frustrates her. It's interfering with our relationship as it makes even low stakes conversations agonizing and higher stakes topics often impossible. It holds her back in her personal and professional life. I used to have the same issue, but what helped me isn't really applicable for her.

Does anyone have any resources, ADHD specific or not, that might help her get started in basic, effective communication? She's such a wonderful, intelligent person, and I just want to help her succeed in being able to share that with others.

cross-posted from: https://anarchist.nexus/post/59927

rule

I figured my overeating might be caused by my undiagnosed inattentive ADHD I have been suspecting to have it.

Like with other habits I try to make any plan or strategy falls apart in max few weeks. But I need a long term solution. However I have never thought about it as caused by ADHD. But When I think about it, I overeat only when I am bored.

During meals I eat normal portions. But when I am bored I will be eating small chunks of food every time I visit fridge. I do not stop that because of my inattentiveness I do not even know I ate a lot. While watching a movie I get bored - even if it is interesting and I am very invested in it. I get some snack and I will eat a whole bag not even knowing when that happened. This happens even if snack was some special offer that tasted bad.

Few examples I get bored and overeating:

• watching a movie - somehow movie is not enough stimuli for me
• after I eat my meal and I wait for others to finish (I eat exactly as twice as fast as my wife)
• when I am visiting someone and there is a food in front of me (conversation somehow is also not enough stimuli)
• random parts of the day - usually if I have to wait.

No standard recommender diet practices worked in the long run (portion control, mindful eating, intermittent fasting, healthy eating, building a healthy lifestyle/routine...) Especially those based on building routine failed the most.

Do you have similar issues? Do you have a strategy that works in the long run? Have you successfully substituted eating for other stimuli?

How's your story coming along?

What's it about?

What genre(s) is it written in?