373
3 lies and 1 truth ahhh (i.redd.it)
submitted 2 months ago by ooli2@lemm.ee to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 100 points 2 months ago

Weird that she was allowed to adopt even one child, let alone two, being so young and single. Maybe she is a very successful businesswoman & philanthropist. This is evidently why she is also still a virgin- no time for dating when running a successful business.

I assume “as🍑” has something to do with her career. Maybe she runs a fruit preserves manufacturer? Good of her to offer to let us try out making new flavors, though I don’t know what I would add to peach jam. Maybe nutmeg?

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 45 points 2 months ago

Peaches...come in her can. Put it in there like a man. In a factory downtown.

[-] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Nature's candy in your hand or pie

[-] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

This reference reminds me I need to take some ibuprofen.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

Chris Ballew, the singer and bassist of POTUSA, now does children's music under the name Casper Babypants.

[-] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

It isn't much used, but cardamom is actually really good with peach. And cinnamon of course.

[-] nomy@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 months ago

I recently had a "spiced peach butter" similar to apple butter that was really great. I think it was mostly cinnamon and nutmeg.

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 47 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Young people these days unjokingly refer to their pets as their children. I could see that going on here

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 46 points 2 months ago

Maybe they're butt babies

[-] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 42 points 2 months ago

this feels like an ai was trained on dating app bios and then it spat out this

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

Most of Tinder is not real profiles last i was in there a few years ago. Bet it’s so much worse now

[-] copd@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

how did you verify the profiles were not human?

[-] phx@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

I think it swallowed rather than spat it this case

[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago

Holy Mary

[-] huppakee@lemm.ee 26 points 2 months ago

2 kids at 20, oof

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Could be terms twins, you never know!

[-] Merva@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago

I see the facebook trend of finding random picture of girl and then adding derogatory "jokes" on it has reached lemmy.

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 18 points 2 months ago

These can all be true. Just very unlikely.

[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Imagine having babies twice from external contact. Like non-penetrative fun times and then forgetting that you can still get pringuante if the semen gets on the outside. Or maybe it leaked out her "as🍑" and down in (/s)?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

Adoption :3

[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I like how everyone is trying to force the adoption idea. You can literally get pregnant from non-penetrative sex if semen comes into contact with the vulva. Which is more likely than adoption for teenagers who think they're being clever, and/or people with strong religious backgrounds who feel shame for what they're doing and trying to get their needs met while skirting around "the rules."

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes but nobody on this site knows how a woman works.

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

To a single 20 year old? Twice?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 0 points 2 months ago

Unlikely, but possible.

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

🚩🚩🚩

[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago

Yeah, but as a counterpoint duckass

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago

I'll reply with this: five minutes of masturbation can prevent a lifetime of pain and suffering.

[-] Speculater@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Or, just do it!

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

My friends keep telling me not to and my parents would be sad. I also feel bad about somebody finding my body

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Nah hit that shit raw bro.

[-] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Maybe she adopted?

[-] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

It was a miracle.

[-] answersplease77@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

she adopted her 2nd as a single mom at 20 yrs only...

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

She seems fun.

[-] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Almost with matching just to ask the real questions

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

Then get the crypto link reply

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

Oh so Mary does it and people spend the next thousand years making statues and paintings in her honor, but Elena does it and gets blasted on social media?

Hypocrites

this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
373 points (92.3% liked)

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