373
submitted 1 month ago by ooli2@lemm.ee to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 100 points 1 month ago

Weird that she was allowed to adopt even one child, let alone two, being so young and single. Maybe she is a very successful businesswoman & philanthropist. This is evidently why she is also still a virgin- no time for dating when running a successful business.

I assume “as🍑” has something to do with her career. Maybe she runs a fruit preserves manufacturer? Good of her to offer to let us try out making new flavors, though I don’t know what I would add to peach jam. Maybe nutmeg?

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 45 points 1 month ago

Peaches...come in her can. Put it in there like a man. In a factory downtown.

[-] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Nature's candy in your hand or pie

[-] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

This reference reminds me I need to take some ibuprofen.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

Chris Ballew, the singer and bassist of POTUSA, now does children's music under the name Casper Babypants.

[-] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago

It isn't much used, but cardamom is actually really good with peach. And cinnamon of course.

[-] nomy@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

I recently had a "spiced peach butter" similar to apple butter that was really great. I think it was mostly cinnamon and nutmeg.

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Young people these days unjokingly refer to their pets as their children. I could see that going on here

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 46 points 1 month ago

Maybe they're butt babies

[-] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 42 points 1 month ago

this feels like an ai was trained on dating app bios and then it spat out this

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Most of Tinder is not real profiles last i was in there a few years ago. Bet it’s so much worse now

[-] copd@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

how did you verify the profiles were not human?

[-] phx@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

I think it swallowed rather than spat it this case

[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago
[-] huppakee@lemm.ee 26 points 1 month ago
[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Could be terms twins, you never know!

[-] Merva@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago

I see the facebook trend of finding random picture of girl and then adding derogatory "jokes" on it has reached lemmy.

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 18 points 1 month ago

These can all be true. Just very unlikely.

[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Imagine having babies twice from external contact. Like non-penetrative fun times and then forgetting that you can still get pringuante if the semen gets on the outside. Or maybe it leaked out her "as🍑" and down in (/s)?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago
[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I like how everyone is trying to force the adoption idea. You can literally get pregnant from non-penetrative sex if semen comes into contact with the vulva. Which is more likely than adoption for teenagers who think they're being clever, and/or people with strong religious backgrounds who feel shame for what they're doing and trying to get their needs met while skirting around "the rules."

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yes but nobody on this site knows how a woman works.

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

To a single 20 year old? Twice?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 0 points 1 month ago

Unlikely, but possible.

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago
[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but as a counterpoint duckass

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

I'll reply with this: five minutes of masturbation can prevent a lifetime of pain and suffering.

[-] Speculater@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago
[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 month ago

My friends keep telling me not to and my parents would be sad. I also feel bad about somebody finding my body

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Nah hit that shit raw bro.

[-] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago
[-] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

It was a miracle.

[-] answersplease77@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

she adopted her 2nd as a single mom at 20 yrs only...

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 17 points 1 month ago

She seems fun.

[-] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Almost with matching just to ask the real questions

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Then get the crypto link reply

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

Oh so Mary does it and people spend the next thousand years making statues and paintings in her honor, but Elena does it and gets blasted on social media?

Hypocrites

this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
373 points (92.3% liked)

Funny

10475 readers
1089 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS