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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by merari42@lemmy.world to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 weeks ago

... goes to pick up the truck and rips off the front quarter panel .... takes another hand hold, rips off the front end .... take another hold, wheel just easily comes off ... gets frustrated ....

.... crumples the whole thing into a metal ball and throws it

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago

came to write this comment.

That trashheap of a vehicle would be useless as a throwable object.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Or wads it up into comically oversized metal boxing gloves.

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 25 points 3 weeks ago

I mean he could just punch them, but if there is a Cybertruck around he should absolutely go for the car instead.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah it's always funny to me when Superman looks around for something softer than his skin to smash people with.

Bro, you can tank a train hitting at full speed and not flinch, what are you doing?

yucky humans, who knows where they have been!

[-] BlackAura@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

Not sure if typo or honest mistake in your title but just in case:

Cookies crumble (break into smaller pieces).

Sheet metal and/or aluminum foil crumples (crushes / becomes creased).

[-] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

I dunno. Cybertrucks probably would crumble in a crash. Or a minor fender bender. Or just sitting there in a parking lot.

[-] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 3 weeks ago

Just give them time to rust. A few minutes after a light rain should do.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

The sides falling off was in the news wasn't it?

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago

Front fell off too. That is typical, mind you.

[-] chuymatt@startrek.website 2 points 3 weeks ago

We should tow them.

[-] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

It's funny, my brain scanned right over that, I could've sworn he said crumple because I expected crumple

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 3 weeks ago

Might have seen it if it wasn't followed by "zones". I read it the same way. The brain fills in context, sometimes without looking close.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 11 points 3 weeks ago

I can't envision an scenario where Superman would need to throw a car at someone. He has laser eyes and anything that can tank that or one of his punches could easily withstand a car.

[-] orbitz@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 weeks ago

And that's why you don't think when Superman solves something, he's nearly as fast as the Flash, he could have half the city's crimes taken care of in a few minutes without worrying about a random inconvenience that trips up the Flash.

This penny arcade comic shows it well enough.

[-] jsomae@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

I feel like this is robbed by the perfectly valid objections in the second panel not really being answered by "throw into the sun."

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

Wow their comics do weird stuff on mobile

This is my fault for being on mobile like a filthy casual ๐Ÿ˜”

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 7 points 3 weeks ago

Critical hit, then AOE damage from the batteries igniting.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago

the passenger and drivers are crumple zones.

[-] ZeroGravitas@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago

In case you want to use this for your homebrew games at home, you can take the stat block of a rusted bastard sword.

[-] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Does Superman often throw cars at people? Why throw a car when a punch does more damage when you're Superman? Hulk would, but that's just because he likes to throw and smash things, not because he's being logical about it.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

also for hulk there's a range aspect, he should be able to throw cars further and faster than he can jump. superman can fly almost instantly everywhere.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 3 weeks ago

Because cool (but yes it's silly)

[-] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 3 weeks ago

Mmmm... crumble zone

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

What about the collateral damage it causes when it explodes after being thrown at the bad guys?

[-] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

*Bonus damage.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

additional damage

Not if it breaks in half after hitting Doomsday on the head.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 0 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Teleport man teleports into the middle of the Battlefield.
"Guys, just chill for a second - we really don't need to do this in the middle of a packed city. Hang tight, I'm gonna take us elsewhere..."
Teleports behind Darkseid, touches his leg and teleports him to the Moon. Teleports instantly back, and teleports Superman there too. Both Superman and Darkseid have barely had time to register their surroundings.
"You're welcome."
Teleports away.

[-] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 weeks ago

Superman and darkseid can both react retroactively, unfortunately. They are both faster than causality.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

at first it was superman, than darkseid, than TRIGON, and then all powerful " christian like god"

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Comics were the original shounen power creep.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 3 weeks ago

Nah, that was the Bible, when Yahweh and El did their mega-fusion

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 weeks ago

faster than causality.

teleport man can literally teleport through spacetime

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 0 points 3 weeks ago

i wonder if Superman was ever sued for destruction of private property for doing something like this.

I want a semi serious legal drama comedy regarding those kind of things, and thinking about it, she Hulk could have been that show. dealing with things like that lawsuit from the incredibles, or that superman case...

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like Harvey Birdman needs a reboot

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

There was actually a 1950s issue where someone sold Superman insurance.

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee -1 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Action_Comics_Vol_1_346

Synopsis for Superman: "The Man Who Sold Insurance to Superman!" An insurance salesman sells Superman a policy guaranteeing $100,000,000,000 against his death or disappearance from the Earth.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 weeks ago

That's a lot of 1950s money

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

I paid that much last week for Burger King.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 0 points 3 weeks ago

im pretty sure the govt of the world probably had a law, that excludes superman, or any other superhero from liablities of collateral damages.

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

at the same time, there should be laws and a duty to minimise damage to a reasonable degree.

this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
304 points (99.4% liked)

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