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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by merari42@lemmy.world to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 month ago

... goes to pick up the truck and rips off the front quarter panel .... takes another hand hold, rips off the front end .... take another hold, wheel just easily comes off ... gets frustrated ....

.... crumples the whole thing into a metal ball and throws it

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

came to write this comment.

That trashheap of a vehicle would be useless as a throwable object.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Or wads it up into comically oversized metal boxing gloves.

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 25 points 1 month ago

I mean he could just punch them, but if there is a Cybertruck around he should absolutely go for the car instead.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah it's always funny to me when Superman looks around for something softer than his skin to smash people with.

Bro, you can tank a train hitting at full speed and not flinch, what are you doing?

yucky humans, who knows where they have been!

[-] BlackAura@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Not sure if typo or honest mistake in your title but just in case:

Cookies crumble (break into smaller pieces).

Sheet metal and/or aluminum foil crumples (crushes / becomes creased).

[-] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I dunno. Cybertrucks probably would crumble in a crash. Or a minor fender bender. Or just sitting there in a parking lot.

[-] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 month ago

Just give them time to rust. A few minutes after a light rain should do.

[-] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago

The sides falling off was in the news wasn't it?

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 4 points 1 month ago

Front fell off too. That is typical, mind you.

[-] chuymatt@startrek.website 2 points 1 month ago

We should tow them.

[-] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

It's funny, my brain scanned right over that, I could've sworn he said crumple because I expected crumple

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 1 month ago

Might have seen it if it wasn't followed by "zones". I read it the same way. The brain fills in context, sometimes without looking close.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 11 points 1 month ago

I can't envision an scenario where Superman would need to throw a car at someone. He has laser eyes and anything that can tank that or one of his punches could easily withstand a car.

[-] orbitz@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

And that's why you don't think when Superman solves something, he's nearly as fast as the Flash, he could have half the city's crimes taken care of in a few minutes without worrying about a random inconvenience that trips up the Flash.

This penny arcade comic shows it well enough.

[-] jsomae@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I feel like this is robbed by the perfectly valid objections in the second panel not really being answered by "throw into the sun."

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Wow their comics do weird stuff on mobile

This is my fault for being on mobile like a filthy casual ๐Ÿ˜”

[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 7 points 1 month ago

Critical hit, then AOE damage from the batteries igniting.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

the passenger and drivers are crumple zones.

[-] ZeroGravitas@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

In case you want to use this for your homebrew games at home, you can take the stat block of a rusted bastard sword.

[-] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Does Superman often throw cars at people? Why throw a car when a punch does more damage when you're Superman? Hulk would, but that's just because he likes to throw and smash things, not because he's being logical about it.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

also for hulk there's a range aspect, he should be able to throw cars further and faster than he can jump. superman can fly almost instantly everywhere.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

Because cool (but yes it's silly)

[-] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 1 month ago

Mmmm... crumble zone

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 month ago

What about the collateral damage it causes when it explodes after being thrown at the bad guys?

[-] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 month ago

*Bonus damage.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

additional damage

Not if it breaks in half after hitting Doomsday on the head.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Teleport man teleports into the middle of the Battlefield.
"Guys, just chill for a second - we really don't need to do this in the middle of a packed city. Hang tight, I'm gonna take us elsewhere..."
Teleports behind Darkseid, touches his leg and teleports him to the Moon. Teleports instantly back, and teleports Superman there too. Both Superman and Darkseid have barely had time to register their surroundings.
"You're welcome."
Teleports away.

[-] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 month ago

Superman and darkseid can both react retroactively, unfortunately. They are both faster than causality.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

at first it was superman, than darkseid, than TRIGON, and then all powerful " christian like god"

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Comics were the original shounen power creep.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

Nah, that was the Bible, when Yahweh and El did their mega-fusion

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 month ago

faster than causality.

teleport man can literally teleport through spacetime

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 0 points 1 month ago

i wonder if Superman was ever sued for destruction of private property for doing something like this.

I want a semi serious legal drama comedy regarding those kind of things, and thinking about it, she Hulk could have been that show. dealing with things like that lawsuit from the incredibles, or that superman case...

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Sounds like Harvey Birdman needs a reboot

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

There was actually a 1950s issue where someone sold Superman insurance.

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee -1 points 1 month ago
[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Action_Comics_Vol_1_346

Synopsis for Superman: "The Man Who Sold Insurance to Superman!" An insurance salesman sells Superman a policy guaranteeing $100,000,000,000 against his death or disappearance from the Earth.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

That's a lot of 1950s money

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

I paid that much last week for Burger King.

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 0 points 1 month ago

im pretty sure the govt of the world probably had a law, that excludes superman, or any other superhero from liablities of collateral damages.

[-] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

at the same time, there should be laws and a duty to minimise damage to a reasonable degree.

this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
305 points (99.4% liked)

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