They're gonna kill Spongebob aren't they?
An Iranian cleric, Shahab Moradi, said Iran would struggle to hit back against the US by striking a parallel figure to Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani because the US has only "fictional" heroes.
after 5 years of research, they've finally figured out how to do it...
Rip Peter spiderman
mr spongebob sir your fired
Khamenei is going to create a Hexbear account
Gets banned for excessive benis posting
And Ahmadinejad gets banned for posting Pro-Ukraine comments. Meanwhile Assad keeps defending himself from mean comments.
They are going to release the real Epstein file
They'll be like "behold! All your leaders are PEDOPHILES!" and we'd be like 
and they'd be like "damn bitch, you live like this?"
they are going to release information that could lead to the arrest of hillary clinton, and trump will stop the war.
The good ending
: "Folks, TREMENDOUS news coming out of Iran! These people, they're not all bad. Some very smart people over there, they're releasing the emails! The REAL emails about Crooked Hillary. Believe me! Nobody thought they'd do it, but they did. Iran did what our FBI couldn't do! Look, everyone's saying there's gonna be this huge war in 2025. Israel, Iran, very bad situation. Terrible! But I'm gonna stop it. Nobody can make deals like Trump. I'll call both sides, beautiful phone calls, perfect calls, and I'll say "Hey, no war! We don't need war!" And they'll listen because they respect Trump. Unlike Sleepy Joe who can't even find Iran on a map!"
They'll release that the election really was stolen, but it was by the Zachary Taylor administration in 1848
Literally the only thing that could live up to that is a nuke hitting Tel Aviv.
WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN SURPRISE
I'M GETTING GOONED BY IRAN GODAMNIT
Sry to be the conveyor of bad news, but I've yet to see proof Iran even said that. The only source are tweets saying they said that afaik.
so when is this happening? what are we theorizing it is?
what if iran leaks gta 6
Then everyone but Elon Musk will stop the war to play some bideo gaem.
Jokes aside, whatever it is (Another strike of some sort I'm guessing) probably isn't gonna live up to that hype right?
Honestly? I recall when Mirandi a while back (the last time Israel tried) said that Iran would hit back much harder, and frankly I would call what Iran's been doing recently exactly that; It's entirely possible it won't live up to the hype, but so far they've been living up to the hype.
That said, all they allegedly said was they would do something that would be remembered for centuries; maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
Futurama beat them to it.
maybe they'll reveal the KFC formula?
When you defeat the Burgerreich by revealing all of its fast food formulas, causing the 
economy to collapse.
It's hard to imagine anything being remembered more than two weeks with our current hyperactive news cycles.
What could actually be in history books and not just metabolized as yet more spectacle?
Actually, Iran striking US bases would be pretty historical. Or using some hypersonics, but I guess that'd fall under shut down or denial of iron dome. Or maybe just letting the leash go for the regional militias - apparently Iran has been a moderating force historically, they've wanted to jump in or retaliate or attack and its been Iran that's held them back.
I dunno about that, most people can't remember stuff that happened in the news last year and a lot also just don't even know this is even happening right now. Those of us keeping track are getting really hard to surprise. That's a huge promise to deliver in 2025
my body is ready for it
the world's first beanis fusion weapon
Maybe China gave them some of those hydrogen plasma bombs?
I hope it's what I think it is
Iran has decided to suplant nukes, they've built a secret collider to develop anti matter bombs
The Fatwa said nothing about tactical black hole weapons.
Some sort of Mr. Freeze style freezing bomb perhaps
Give Iran ~~nukes~~ photon torpedos
Salt the earth they stole.
Khamenei is Q and single handedly broke the American mind
I call bullshit, because most people have the memory of a peanut and won't remember any of it.
Sounds fake. Anyone find a link to the actual statement anywhere? A video? Anything other than social media posts?
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
