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[-] Luccus@feddit.org 18 points 3 weeks ago

Once a user came into our office on the verge of tears. Her notebook wouldn't boot and she thought that meant her thesis was lost.

Didn't make a backup either.

But luckily it was the mainboard that quit and not the SSD. So we were able to decrypt it and get her up and running again. After we told her to make a backup next time, she was so happy that she wanted to give us money. We refused.

Come next day, she stormed in, without saying a word. Just threw a pile of candy and a handful of soft drinks on our table and ran off before we could do anything about it.

Fuck you, boss. That's our candy now.

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[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
  1. Have vendor take you out to lunch.

  2. Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk.

  3. Profit?

Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey.

And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I'd recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.

[-] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss's desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a "thank you" for bringing back some lunch.

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.

[-] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

This is illegal most places. Might want to look into that.

[-] renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 weeks ago

usually, you're supposed to turn down the gift, this is just wrong

[-] Natanael@infosec.pub 9 points 3 weeks ago

I've heard stories of clients giving gifts getting pissed when the wrong person claims them, so it's risky for not just legal reasons

[-] ornery_chemist@mander.xyz 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Pretty sure I just got ~~anti-bribery~~ ethics and compliance training that said no one in my company is allowed to accept such gifts lol

[-] Evotech@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Intheflsun@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

If you're in the USA, please feel fee to photograph and submit to NLRB for review. They like it when the guilty type it up and post it.

[-] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Nlrb is dead in the trump era. Rip

[-] Ledivin@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

State Labor boards should be largely unaffected, and are usually the ones to actually punish the offenders anyway.

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[-] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago

We need to start recognizing corporate greed as a mental disorder. This is a company large enough that employees don't interact with the owner directly, and all the profits from the company aren't enough for the owner: they also want the pen the delivery guy gave you. It's a sickness.

[-] ScoffingLizard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

The Native Americans recognized a greed sickness in white men. They called it watika, IIRC.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

lol

Usually these things will just say you can't accept such items because it could be considered a bribe or at the very least unprofessional. And here we have an asshole straight up saying "give your bribes to me!"

I'm just thinking of all the times customers offered me food and drink while servicing them as an internet service installer. You gonna take all my Dr. Pepper and tacos, too, boss? How 'bout I leave 'em in a pile on your desk after I'm done?

[-] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 9 points 3 weeks ago

"Oh, thanks! What I'd like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled 'ketchup'".

[-] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, that company has red flags.

Red flag number 1: the contents of the note

Red flag number 2: using duct tape to attach the note to the wall. Hints at a huge managerial Skill Issue.

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[-] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Some companies would tell you not to take gifts in case they look like bribes

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

When I worked for a major database company they made me take annual training to explain that I wasn’t allowed to buy sex workers for potential clients.

[-] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

So Oracle.

Was after the catapult incident?

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

Ootl...did the catapult incident involve a sex worker?

[-] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

My handbook at work specifically bans buying illicit drugs for customers with the company card.

It doesn't say anything about buying it with my card and getting reimbursed though...

[-] Redredme@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

"buy"

So renting is not an issue! Or as a Service....

So many options left. Next time I talk to big red I'll ask the rep about his interpretation of this training.

;)

One place i worked at collected all gifts and had a lottery at Christmas, where employees could win them. I feel that's a fair way to deal with this.

[-] scytale@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 weeks ago

That’s true, but this directs them to the owner anyway, which is the same thing. It just goes to someone else. If this was actually anti-bribery policy, gifts should not be accepted full stop.

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[-] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 5 points 3 weeks ago

Food? So if a client takes me for a meal I have to make sure to vomit it onto my boss' desk when I get back to the office?

[-] amorangi@lemmy.nz 5 points 3 weeks ago

You can generally wait 2 or 3 days before giving him the food. Of course by then it's been processed.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Obviously not. You order it to go, sit there awkwardly while the client eats, then bring the box of cold food to the manager who the gives it to the owner eventually.

[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Vomiting is not as much fun as waiting for it to be ready for you to deposit on the boss' desk the other way.

[-] don@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago

True, but it’s good to have options.

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[-] Rhaedas@fedia.io 4 points 3 weeks ago

Been with several companies that have the first part in their policy. It makes sense to avoid, or at best minimize an external influencing factor in company activities. Basically they don't want to mess with lawsuits. That's what company policy is for, protect the company.

The rest is owner greed. He doesn't want the gifts to stop, he wants them all without doing anything to get them. Either enforce a 'no gifts, period' policy or let people do what they will.

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[-] fadhl3y@feddit.uk 4 points 3 weeks ago

Client gifted me a truck load of manure

[-] altphoto@lemmy.today 4 points 3 weeks ago

In our company this is a bribe and we don't accept bribes.

[-] deltapi@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Same in ours.

Myself and another guy went to a tech junket that was by invite only and they gave away a laptop to one person from each company who attended. My boss tried to take the laptop from the other guy saying "that was a gift and you need to turn it over to me"

I'd already cleared it with our corporate conflict of interest ombudsman - if I'd accepted it, it would have been an issue because I had purchasing authority, but other guy was "just" a tech who couldn't sign off on anything or even make recommendations to anyone other than me, we didn't have an existing business relationship with the vendor, and we're not obligated to conduct any business with them as a result of the gift.

I told my boss to take it up with head-of-department (whom I'd copied in on the ombudsman comms.)

Other guy kept the laptop, and boss got 'audited' for gifts received (they pulled his emails) and was demoted into a position he wasn't able to handle (more technical than he was capable of, but on paper should have been able to do) and pushed out of the company soon thereafter.

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago
[-] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 3 weeks ago

Wait, if I am, do I have to tell you?

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

If you are one, no. I think you get in trouble if you don't lie and/or kick my shit in, actually

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[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Not if they don't accept bribes, they aren't.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 3 weeks ago

I would simply refuse all gifts rather than give them to the owner.

[-] binarytobis@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Better to just accept the gifts for yourself and let them fire you. I imagine a juicy wrongful termination suit would be appropriate.

[-] F_OFF_Reddit@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago
[-] synapse1278@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

My company forces everyone to take a training that must be repeated every year, teaching us that we have to always refuse gifts because of corruption and ~~collision~~ collusion laws.

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[-] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago

Best start having takeaway cups at home next time somebody comes by to install something, just in case they need to take the gift which is my offering of coffee or tea, to their bosses...

[-] the_q@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 weeks ago

The whole schmoozing (bribing) culture is messed up regardless of who is on the receiving end.

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this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
111 points (99.1% liked)

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