Once a user came into our office on the verge of tears. Her notebook wouldn't boot and she thought that meant her thesis was lost.

Didn't make a backup either.

But luckily it was the mainboard that quit and not the SSD. So we were able to decrypt it and get her up and running again. After we told her to make a backup next time, she was so happy that she wanted to give us money. We refused.

Come next day, she stormed in, without saying a word. Just threw a pile of candy and a handful of soft drinks on our table and ran off before we could do anything about it.

Fuck you, boss. That's our candy now.

1. Have vendor take you out to lunch.

2. Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk.

3. Profit?

Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey.

And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I'd recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.

This is illegal most places. Might want to look into that.

usually, you're supposed to turn down the gift, this is just wrong

Pretty sure I just got ~~anti-bribery~~ ethics and compliance training that said no one in my company is allowed to accept such gifts lol

If you're in the USA, please feel fee to photograph and submit to NLRB for review. They like it when the guilty type it up and post it.

We need to start recognizing corporate greed as a mental disorder. This is a company large enough that employees don't interact with the owner directly, and all the profits from the company aren't enough for the owner: they also want the pen the delivery guy gave you. It's a sickness.

lol

Usually these things will just say you can't accept such items because it could be considered a bribe or at the very least unprofessional. And here we have an asshole straight up saying "give your bribes to me!"

I'm just thinking of all the times customers offered me food and drink while servicing them as an internet service installer. You gonna take all my Dr. Pepper and tacos, too, boss? How 'bout I leave 'em in a pile on your desk after I'm done?

"Oh, thanks! What I'd like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled 'ketchup'".

Yeah, that company has red flags.

Red flag number 1: the contents of the note

Red flag number 2: using duct tape to attach the note to the wall. Hints at a huge managerial Skill Issue.

Some companies would tell you not to take gifts in case they look like bribes

Food? So if a client takes me for a meal I have to make sure to vomit it onto my boss' desk when I get back to the office?

Been with several companies that have the first part in their policy. It makes sense to avoid, or at best minimize an external influencing factor in company activities. Basically they don't want to mess with lawsuits. That's what company policy is for, protect the company.

The rest is owner greed. He doesn't want the gifts to stop, he wants them all without doing anything to get them. Either enforce a 'no gifts, period' policy or let people do what they will.

Client gifted me a truck load of manure

In our company this is a bribe and we don't accept bribes.

I would simply refuse all gifts rather than give them to the owner.

make me

My company forces everyone to take a training that must be repeated every year, teaching us that we have to always refuse gifts because of corruption and ~~collision~~ collusion laws.

Best start having takeaway cups at home next time somebody comes by to install something, just in case they need to take the gift which is my offering of coffee or tea, to their bosses...

The whole schmoozing (bribing) culture is messed up regardless of who is on the receiving end.