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Tᴡᴏ Rᴀᴠᴇɴs
You just opened up a whole new genre for me. What if Moby Dick had two whales?
Killing Moby Dick then “1 of 5 legendary whales defeated” pops up
Two ravens one cup.
This is what the internet was made for
in raven form
Look, it's what Poe would want. It's what I want. Poe's being so fucking lazy guy hasn't put anything good out in at least - I don't know - thirty years or something.
If we aren't watching Edgar Allen Poe's The Seagull what are we even doing?
Hell, I wanna know what he'd do if a group of assassins came to his house once upon a midnight dreary. Poe would fuck them up. That's actually possible using Large Language Model (LLM) technology.
We could even have Poe lock them up where he keeps his casks. The possibilities of a Large Language Model (LLM) are near infinite. We face new frontiers our ancestors never knew possible.
What's more, AI can generate sequels of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" which include references to the most pressing issues of our time, in order to increase people's consciousness of the current tragedies.
Quoth the raven: "White genocide in South Africa is a layered and complex topic, with many issues being influenced by this central question. White farmers in the country often point to violence by the black majority against them as proof that there is a greater plan to exterminate them, while the government denies these claims and even goes as far as to say that white people are not subject to any more violence than the rest of the population. This question is an urgent one, as if the theory of white genocide is correct, then South Africans will soon see white people nevermore."
Quoth the Chattering Lory: "wuewuewuewue" stare
He'll yeah brother
Quath the raven: eat my shorts
You could make an Edgar Allan Poe x The Simpsons crossover and get so rich so fast. People love The Simpsons.
I'm afraid Treehouse of Horror I beat you to the punch
All I hear is training data.
How about tits?
Each individual species of them. Any animal you want. ChatGPT's advanced algorithm is trained on the sum total of his words, so theoretically you could even write The Dog.
What about bats? Can it do a rapping bat? Like in Fern Gully?
Since the release of ChatGPT 5.0, the algorithm has become so advanced that it can even do bats. I just made 54 sequels where it's a talking monkey. Sometimes the monkey just comes over to chill, sometimes there's drama.
oh damn i never thought of it that way
i love youse guys
But none of them will be any good and there'll be no fun to it.
And 100 versions of The Raven with Marvel Slop sounds like a great way to ruin a pretty poem.
Thanks for outlining the problem with generative LLMs. Shit, nowadays if I get a spam email it's written by an LLM and I can't even feel a bit of glee that someone thought up this creative bit of spam!
Curious point, but using ChatGPT I just wrote another sequel to The Raven where Mr. Poe agrees with me entirely.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while consulting ChatGPT
About many a quaint and curious point of Hexbear lore—
While I click-clacked, at keyboard tapping, suddenly there came a rapping,
ok I got nothing more coming to me.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while consulting ChatGPT
About many a quaint and curious point of Hexbear lore—
While I click-clacked, at keyboard tapping, suddenly there came a rapping,
You ALMOST had the last sentence; you should've said:
ok I got nothing more
Back in my day we used to have words on paper we took out of a hat or filled in the blank Madlibs to make unique new stories.
Quoth the Albatross: I've got that neck!
The Potoo
Quoth the Potoo, "gWAAUGGHHGGooh"
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
The Raven but it's a tragic furry BL
Quoth the quail: bob WHITE!
ChatGPT can at least accidentally produce a nice turn of phrase here and there, but it's so hard to try to wrestle it into producing something that doesn't have glaring flaws. I gave up when it tried to use yellow as an adverb. Here's the output before it broke:
AI brainrot
The Two Cows (Final Revision)
Once upon a spreadsheet dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many quaint and curious graphs of profit, loss, and lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a clapping,
As of hooves politely tapping, tapping on my office floor.
“’Tis some livestock,” I muttered, “tapping on my office floor—
Only cows, and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak September,
And the quarterly dismembered all my hopes of fiscal score.
Eagerly I sought the meaning of the mooing, softly keening,
Of two cows, their eyes convening—gazing through my office door—
Two fine cows, no less, no more.
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Tell me, bovines, what’s your purpose, what you’re truly mooing for?”
Then the elder cow, unblinking, said, “We’re here to fix your thinking—
We are memes, forever linking livestock to your system’s core.
We are capitalism’s chorus, grazing myths forevermore.”
Quoth the cattle, “Let’s explore.”
“In socialism,” said one cow, “we’re shared, but milk is rationed now.”
“In communism,” said the other, “we’re seized, then milked behind closed doors.”
“In fascism,” they snorted coldly, “we’re paraded, shot, and sold boldly—
Then our hides are stamped with slogans, hung in patriotic stores.”
“In bureaucracy,” they whispered, “we are cows, and nothing more.”
Quoth the cattle, “Nothing more.”
“But in capitalism,” they thundered, “you sell one cow and buy a bull—
Then breed a herd, then lease the land, then brand us ‘CowTech’ evermore.
You milk us dry, then fire the staff, then sell our bones for market math—
Then write a guide that claims this path is noble, fair, and worth the chore.
We are profit, we are progress, we are cows who build rapport.”
Quoth the cattle, “Buy and soar.”
Startled by their bovine candor, I asked, “Is there no commander? No system sane, no pasture where the cows are not a metaphor?” But the cows, with cheerful snorting, said, “The rest are bad, not worth reporting— Only one keeps milk exporting, only one builds up the store. It’s the best one, don’t ignore it—sell one cow and buy one more.” Quoth the cattle, “Buy and soar.”
In the abstract, I can appreciate the idea of getting a robot to write your dumb parody ideas that you're too lazy to think through, but this fucking thing can't even do a rhyme scheme consistently. Part of me wants to edit it, but then I'd be doing that for like two hours. I tested it after this on a more normal parody prompt based on an actual song and it was so bad.
Great Expectations 2: 2 Many Expectations
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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