Anon Goes to College : greentext

[-] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 213 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Anon thinks speaking and writing in a language is all there is to do in a bachelor's degree. You literally have to read thousands of pages of literature, and need to be able to analyze those pieces critically.

Guys, is lying allowed on the Internet? I'm starting to think that Anon never even set foot in a college.

[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 85 points 1 year ago

Uses 4chan

"Drowning in pussy"

Yeah, checks out.

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 15 points 1 year ago

I think he had a different idea of what 'cum laude' means as well ...

load more comments (5 replies)

[-] javasux@lemmy.world 149 points 1 year ago

Yeah but now all you have is a degree in Italian

[+] CubbyTustard@reddthat.com 90 points 1 year ago

[deleted]

[-] Slowy@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

Jokes on them my degree has no bearing on my ability to be on time

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Yeah I didn’t show up on time to classes or labs. I just finished my labs first and best so it was fine

[-] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Turns out most of the white collar world runs like that too- show up early, late, or not at all; if your deliverables hit the bosses' desk by deadline, you're cream of the crop.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 1 year ago

My manager has a bee in his bonnet about people being in on time, and he will come and yell at everybody if he notices someone turning up at about 9:15 rather than 9:00. The thing is he gets in it about 6:00 and then goes home at 3:30 and disappears from about 10:00 till 2:00 on a massive lunch, my official start time is 9:30 but often he isn't actually in the main office, so how the hell does he know if people are turning up on time.

So we don't. He's hasn't noticed.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

That's what they say, but in practice it's just a class filter. Punctuality and hoop jumping matters MUCH MORE in blue collar jobs than white collar.

It's literally just saying "your family was wealthy enough that you weren't forced to enter the labor market to support your relatives when you were a teenager".

[-] June@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I bootstrapped my way through college because poor family. But at 40 I’m making more than all but one cousin in my entire extended family, aunts/uncles/grandparents all make less than me because none of them went to college save for that one cousin. My degree was in organizational communication and was absolutely the thing that opened the doorway for me, and as much as I loved the major, it’s technically useless.

[-] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

Most of those jobs aren't worth the debt.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] ThePyroPython@feddit.uk 7 points 1 year ago

Indeed, foreign language teaching and translation work are made significantly easier to get into if you have a degree.

load more comments (6 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 97 points 1 year ago

I mean, they still spent all that money to just be a language major for a teaching job on another continent.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

Makes me wish it was true.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 41 points 1 year ago

I don't think they allow lying on 4chan?

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

naaaah

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Right at the top of the page.

[-] Serinus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

That part is a lie.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] pokemaster787@ani.social 3 points 1 year ago

Green text probably isn't true but I did have a German professor born and raised in Germany with a Master's in "Conversational German" so it's definitely not impossible.

[-] uberrice@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

If its a German degree - Germanistik is different from just German courses. It's more about German literature - how the language evolved, why things are the way they are, analyzing uses of language and so on.

Not really a useful degree, but a degree you need to put work in nonetheless

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 91 points 1 year ago

I'm a native English speaker with an English teacher for a parent and i didn't even pass highschool English.

[-] Shard@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

My condolences

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 46 points 1 year ago

condo-what now

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

That's unpossible!

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 64 points 1 year ago

Got a degree by taking only Italian language courses. Sure.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago

Too retarded to study anything, but learned to speak perfect American English with no discernible accent?

[-] schema@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

I'd imagine there is also a lot more to a language BA than just being able to perfectly speak it, but I don't really know.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

Yes there's going to be a literature component and probably history and politics, although OP's Italian equivalent of high school might have prepared him for those somewhat.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Maybe all they did was watch American TV.

[-] zuhayr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Or American Pie?

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

[-] bane_killgrind@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

I can pick out regional North American accents, if he had any American peers I bet there were suspicions.

[-] Nepenthe@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not that this happened, but there absolutely would have been at least one suspicion. Nobody doesn't have an accent of some sort, and he'd have no way of knowing how accurate his pronunciation is all the way from Italy among other Italians. Everyone thinks they sound good til they hear themselves on a recording. His only way out would be to say his family is italian-american but he doesn't know the language very well. He might think of that. He's also on 4chan, though.

However, Americans are highly curious about others as a rule and the women reportedly thought he was at least ok, so someone would have asked where he was from regardless of what he sounded like. And then he would have been stuck playing 20 questions about a randomly chosen region he isn't familiar with and hoping to god whoever he's talking to isn't from there.

[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Speaking English with an accent from anywhere sounds weird but apart from a select few states, Americans sound so weird to me.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Unaware7013@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago

Yeah, bet that went as well as all the Hispanic kids in high school taking Spanish as their 'easy A'... It was hilarious when they realized their easy A course turned out to be their hardest one because they didn't speak the particular dialect being taught and had to relearn their language to pass.

[-] JJROKCZ@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

Still had to know two languages well, that’s far from fuck all lol

[-] berg@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago

If you're born into it it's pretty much fuck all tbh.

[-] lauha@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

Pretty much fuck all everywhere except 'murica

[-] lorty@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 year ago

This person is not only lying their ass off, but made clear they don't even speak a second language. Just because you learned colloquial italian or whatever doesn't mean you actually know a single gramatical rule, or better yet, how that language is written in formal texts, documents etc.

[-] sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I know how English is written in formal documents. I don't know in depth grammar but in general I wouldn't need to. I just say what sounds correct. Why would an Italian person be unable to do the same?

edit: To be clear I'm not saying he isn't lying. He definitely is.

[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

He's lying but not because of his language ability.

Nobody writing greentext drowns in pussy.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can you have a degree in a language course? Like I get you can minor in languages, but can you major in it? Also what's his minor going to be if it is possible to major in a language course.

I'm not even American and I can see that this story is made up BS.

[-] June@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

You can solely major in a language.

University if Washington’s offerings for Asian languages are included here: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/AsianLanguagesandLiterature-144.html

English: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/English-136.html

Finnish, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish and others: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/ScandinavianStudies-281.html

And there are more like German, near eastern languages, Spanish, and Slavic languages.

If you want an example of Italian, go to Santa Clara University: https://www.scu.edu/cas/modernlanguages/academic-programs/italian/

Or Uc Davis: https://www.ucdavis.edu/majors/italian

Or ASU: https://degrees.apps.asu.edu/bachelors/major/ASU00/LAITABA/italian?init=false&nopassive=true

You really shouldn’t underestimate what you can major in in college. If you’re interested in it, there’s probably a program for it somewhere, or a college with enough classes that you can build a program for it.

[-] aebrer@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Mamma mia!

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Amends1782@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

too retarded

Checks out

> Greentext