Because spicy is not a flavor. Spicy is more like an allergic reaction to a chemical that certain plants excrete as a defense mechanism. Humans are just weirdos because we enjoy our mouths and buttholes being on fire.
Plant: develops high amounts of capsaicin to ward off predators
Humans: ooh, this would be great with chicken!
Plant: am I a joke to you?

Humans: YOU TWO PLANTS NEED TO FUCK, I NEED YOUR OFFSPRING TO BE HOTTER
*Humans: YOU TWO ~~PLANTS~~ NEED TO FUCK, I NEED YOUR OFFSPRING TO BE HOTTER
Similarly:
Yeast: I'm going to eat all this sugar and produce a toxin that will kill off competing organisms!
Humans: HAHA! Funny juice make head all silly...
Spicy is not a flavor, but literally a pain stimulus.
Butt pain stimulus huehuehue
I don't think OOP has thought this one through, tasting things through my butt would be one of the last things I'd wish for
If our assholes had taste buds, you better believe there would be a whole category of dietary supplements aimed at making our shit taste good. Then there would be a backlash movement consisting of people who are proud to shit naturally and taste it.
We already have an entire subset of people who are proud to eat shit.
Your body absorbs all good flavors except spicy. Be happy.
Either that or some sick fucks of you here need to do some experimenting for all of us. For science.
I can see the headline now:
"World descending into World War III, meanwhile, obscure internet forum discovers horrible new way to diagnose illness"
This is absolutely not true, your butthole can also taste menthol.
Menthol is just cool spicy
How many flavors of spicy are there?
Edit: just saw Qualia's comment directly below here
And ginger.
Ginger is one of seven times spiciness has independently evolved: gingerol, allicin (garlic), capsaicinoids (chili peppers), allyl isothiocyanate (mustard, horseradish, wasabi), piperine (black pepper), eugenol (cloves) and alkylamides (Sichuan peppers, which are distinct from chilis). They're all functionally pungent, but chemically distinct: meaning no single shared class.
Yeah, but how many can your butthole taste?
Because I guarantee you that it no longer tastes like pancakes.
On second thought, maybe I don't want tastebuds just inside my asshole.
That would be a creative curse
There was a web comic I saw years ago. Two dudes find a genie one of them wishes that the other guy has tastebuds in his asshole.

Easy fix, just put spicy peppers in your pancakes
They're even spicier when you put the pepper directly in your ass.
Did you know your urethra can also taste spicy? Try sounding a Thai chili pepper!
Sounding?
A fetish where people stick things up their urethra.
Rubbing one around the balloon knot is quite affective if penetration is too much for you.
I see we're having a debate about tasting shit. May I politely ask, would you like to "eat shit"?
Personally, nah.
To some, hilarity.
To others, science.
To others, horror.
To... Others.... Pleasure :(
I'm of the first three.
Become gluten intolerant and your wish will become a reality.
I already HATE smelling my coffee and asparagus through my pee. I would fucking hate tasting my food a 2nd time.
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