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[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 69 points 2 weeks ago

It’s trite, but it’s amazing how strongly American conservatives identify with Christianity when it is completely antithetical to their ideology. Like there’s no way a modern American conservative can honestly say they value personal sacrifice for the salvation of humanity.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 41 points 2 weeks ago

No no no, you see it's the sacrifice of others

[-] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 35 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Nothing more American conservative than Sunday mass, ignoring the homeless person outside the brunch place you visit afterwards, and then capping it off by tipping the server 2.3 percent

[-] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago

"Jesus is King" seems to be their mantra. Jesus was good not because he did good, but because he's the avatar of authority

[-] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

That sorta what I had been taught. God created the universe, therefore he gets to decide what's good and evil. Demanding his people commit a genocide? Good. Stripping Pharaoh of his free will to have him persecute his people more? Good. Because if God did it, it's inherently good.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 50 points 2 weeks ago

Cowards won't even nail their hands to the cross.

[-] CommCat@hexbear.net 33 points 2 weeks ago

Filipino Catholics: hold my beer.

[-] Ekranoplane@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Crucifixion Ruben is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[-] NeelixBiederman@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago

They keep pulling this poor guy out of retirement to nail him to wood ever year

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago

Ruben time to die on the cross again! sicko-fem

yes-honey-left

[-] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

I mean...did they have to wear their glasses lmao?! There is just truly no sacrifice too small for these folks to refuse

They need to be able to see all the burgerpeople gawking at them gormlessly

[-] PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago

Really couldn't say it better (really lol). Says so much about what they're doin up there, just delicious

[-] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 2 weeks ago

Just thought: Jesus didn't have it so easy!

https://www.britannica.com/topic/crucifixion-capital-punishment

Punishment There were various methods of performing the execution. Usually, the condemned man, after being whipped, or “scourged,” dragged the crossbeam of his cross to the place of punishment, where the upright shaft was already fixed in the ground. Stripped of his clothing either then or earlier at his scourging, he was bound fast with outstretched arms to the crossbeam or nailed firmly to it through the wrists. The crossbeam was then raised high against the upright shaft and made fast to it about 9 to 12 feet (approximately 3 metres) from the ground. Next, the feet were tightly bound or nailed to the upright shaft. A ledge inserted about halfway up the upright shaft gave some support to the body; evidence for a similar ledge for the feet is rare and late. Over the criminal’s head was placed a notice stating his name and his crime. Death ultimately occurred through a combination of constrained blood circulation, organ failure, and asphyxiation as the body strained under its own weight. It could be hastened by shattering the legs (crurifragium) with an iron club, which prevented them from supporting the body’s weight and made inhalation more difficult, accelerating both asphyxiation and shock. Crucifixion was most frequently used to punish political or religious agitators, pirates, slaves, or those who had no civil rights. In 519 bce Darius I, king of Persia, crucified 3,000 political opponents in Babylon; in 88 bce Alexander Jannaeus, the Judaean king and high priest, crucified 800 Pharisaic opponents; and about 32 ce Pontius Pilate had Jesus of Nazareth put to death by crucifixion.

[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 50 points 2 weeks ago
[-] Rey_McSriff@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are ordering

[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 19 points 2 weeks ago

And one of them ran and took a big gulp cup, filled it with diet coke, and put in it a PLASTIC straw libs-owned, and gave him to drink.

[-] Florn@hexbear.net 47 points 2 weeks ago

It's a violation of consent to do your scene where the general public can see you

[-] microfiche@hexbear.net 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

For God so loved the Earth he begat his only son for a McGriddle and hashed browns.

[-] Milksteaks@midwest.social 13 points 2 weeks ago

Whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting borgar

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 28 points 2 weeks ago

This might be the most American thing I have ever seen outside of manmade horrors beyond my comprehension. They even have a parking lot filled entirely with inefficient vehicles. Is that a 1970s lead guzzler behind the Second Christ of Texas?

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 28 points 2 weeks ago

Always look on the bright side of big mac combo coupon deals

[-] billgamesh@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

If life seems jolly rotten then there's something you've forgotten... and that's discount borger

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 23 points 2 weeks ago

Christ died for your Big Macs feast-1feast-2

[-] SoyViking@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago
[-] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

What's heretical is the people grilling when there's a McDonalds right there

[-] fox@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Christians been doing this for millennia

Just usually not in the McDonald's parking lot

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 4 points 2 weeks ago
[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

understudy jesus in the back helping himself to grilled treats

[-] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

What did Hank Green do now?

[-] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago

Just down the hill from the insane asylum from In The Mouth of Madness.

[-] aspensmonster@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 2 weeks ago

"USA" was the only context needed.

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

This looks like what the way in to work in my nightmares looks like

[-] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Modern art, unironically. Not in a disparaging "ugh modern art" (that movement is decades old btw, I think we're at post-contemporary now?) but as in art that's fitting the zeitgeist

[-] InexplicableLunchFiend@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

Went through the trouble of getting up on the crosses in costume but didn't take off the glasses? Come on!

[-] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Meanwhile in Amerikkka

[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Tag yourself I'm grill jesus

[-] soybeanis@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

hankkk green

Yall out here disparaging american christians and here I thought these were just Life of Brian cosplayers.

[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

Did anyone notice they appear to have fake blood on them too?

this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2026
169 points (100.0% liked)

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