Emotional and ready to quit your job/break up with someone/confront someone?
Write down what you want to say/write. WRITE IT ALL DOWN.
Wait 24 hours. Read it again.
Do you still think you should send it? Then send it.
80% of the time my issue was stupid and my reaction inappropriate, but because I kept my mouth shut, all I had to do was tear up a piece of paper.
Thanks dad. That’s served me well.
Your job is not your family. You owe them nothing. Do your job well and leave the work at the door when you leave at the end of the day. Unless you're an owner, every bit of extra work you do is you being robbed.
Never make fun of someone's job. No matter how "beneath you" it is, somebody has to do it, and we should all appreciate that they do it.
What about looksmaxing influencers? I can make fun of their job right?
Admitting a mistake is NOT the same as admitting weakness or stupidity.
Depends on the culture:
in empiricist/objective science-culture, that's true, but in authority-based cultures, .. that won't work.
_ /\ _
Ask yourself the three things before you say anything.
- Does this need to be said?
- Does this need to be said by me?
- Does this need to be said by me now?
Craig Ferguson
This has been helpful for me in meetings since I have a tendency to talk more than I probably should.
The three least heard words in the universe will serve you well, and often catch people off guard - don't be afraid to use them.
"I was wrong."
Admit your mistakes when they happen, then when something goes wrong no one will accuse you.
It's also not hard to do casually without having to grovel. My nursing subspecialty is violence management and I frequently respond to things with,"thank you for reminding me, I'm going to go do that now!" and,"I hadn't realized that was your preference, thank you for letting me know!" or,"that's a good thing to point out I'm glad you're being an active participant in your care!" You don't even have to say you're wrong half the time you can also just regularly tell people they're right.
Never compare yourself to others but only to yourself from the past.
Be grateful for what you have.
Don't Panic
Might not ever be the best piece of advice, but it's always the second best piece of advice in any situation
This is a good piece of advice for hitchhiking around the galaxy
Always know where your towel is.
Did you sketch that frood, Triumph? Now there's a hoopy frood, who really knows where their towel is!
Only break one law at a time.
Thank you pops. It probably did keep me from fucking my life up (worse).
A relationship can only work if everyone is getting out of it what they need.
It's basically just a simple reminder to be attentive and care, but it's stuck with me. Most of my friends and my husband have been a part of my life for over twenty years now, so I think it works.
That's good advice.
I'd never have thought of it on my own, being autistic.
Thank you for telling us that one.
_ /\ _
An okay plan applied immediately and vigorously is INFINTELY better than a perfect plan ten minutes too late.
This was specific to calculus homework but it has turned out to be very good advice, "when you don't know what to do, do something". Often decisions can be paralyzing or problems can feel insurmountable but doing nothing is a choice. Very rarely is it the best one.
Me: this seems like sound reasoning, I should follow it and be more decisive
My ADHD:
Instructions unclear—(noun) (adjective) (preposition) (noun).
When I got my first car my grandmother told me "don't do anything to it that makes it stand out to the police."
Hate and bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die
Learn how to deal with people.
No matter what you do in life you have to deal with people in some way. Even if they are paid to do what you tell them it's a huge difference if they put your request on the top or bottom of their pile.
If you have to whine or criticize something make sure to have a way to make it better. If you bring up a problem, bring up the solution with you.
This is great advice. I've heard it refined to "bring the energy to be part of the solution" - which clarifies that one doesn't have to have all the answers, but had better be willing to engage with solving whatever one complains about.
I really hate this advice.
You don't necessarily need to bring a solution.
The solution may come in many ways but the most important thing is bring the problem to the light so everybody become aware.
If you're not satisfied with something whine and criticize the hell out of it. If you're right others will show up and together we may find a solution.
Sometimes you feel something is wrong but not necessarily know how it can be fixed, but you know it's wrong.
Don't hold yourself from complaining just because you don't have a solution, bring whatever you feel to discussion.
A shit solution can absolutely be worse than the initial problem, for sure.
A friend of mine who was struggling with homelessness and addictions, "In order for things to change, you've gotta change some things."
Simple yet profound.
If you’re in a group and talking about someone who isn’t there, imagine they are. That way, you’ll never say something you might regret later.
Don't be the first one to leave a party, but don't be the last one either. - my grandmother.
if the whole world smells like shit, check your shoe.
Go away from your home for college.
It will give you a chance to grow as a person.
From one of my high school math teachers.
Many things are only a big deal if you make them a big deal
This comment says things and I HAVE VERY LOUD FEELINGS ABOUT THAT!!!
Insert butterfly meme.
Is this a big deal?
Live below your means, but not too far.
" You gotta be true to who you really are, cause no one's gotta wear the shoes you got "
Given to me by a former friend, high as a rocket to Venus, upon my stumbling attempt to come out to him twenty years ago
"No permanent solutions to temporary problems." It is a double edged sword for me, but one that cut through some hard times. Police are trained to tell people this. One that was in cybercrime, doing a talk on AppArmor on Linux, mentioned this casualty and it stuck when I needed it.
Never put yourself down. It gives people the perfect opportunity to agree with you.
Life won't happen on your schedule.
(Meaning be patient and don't beat yourself up if things aren't happening as fast as you want)
This one may sound a bit silly, but it's worked for me quite a few times:
"Whatever happened before or might happen later, right now, just for this moment, everything's fine."
(of course, if something bad is actually happening at a given moment you're probably not going to be spending time remembering that little tidbit. It's for when you're feeling depressed or anxious).
Professionally, the question that needs to get answered isn't the question being asked. Always get context.
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