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[-] Zagorath@quokk.au 127 points 6 days ago

Too much pollution? Release wolves ~~in factories~~ in boardrooms

FTFY

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Too many billionaires? We released wolves into the highest income neighborhoods in America, and you wouldn't believe what happened next!

[-] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 64 points 6 days ago

Smithers, release the hounds.

[-] Aneb@lemmy.world 42 points 5 days ago
[-] RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 60 points 6 days ago

This is a much more interesting take on Wolf of Wall Street

Fuck that movie. Waited 2 hours or something and it was like fucking and drugs. Not a single wolf was released on walstreet.

[-] perishthethought@piefed.social 43 points 6 days ago
[-] nulluser@lemmy.world 35 points 6 days ago
[-] Fondots@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago

I have a lot of outdoorsy hobbies, most people who are serious about camping and hiking and such are also pretty good about leaving no trace.

But there's also a lot of people out there who aren't serious about it, they just think it would be fun to go out in the woods and have a party or whatever and they leave a lot of litter, start fires in inappropriate places, etc.

And at least around me, that's generally a pretty safe thing for them to do. Theres no really no large predators left for them to be concerned about.

And I sometimes think "maybe if we just reintroduced wolves, that might be enough to dissuade some of these assholes from making a mess in the great outdoors"

Those of us who spend a lot of time outside know there's usually not too much to worry about as long as you're taking some basic precautions, but almost every time I talk to a non-outdoorsy person, it seems like they're always afraid of getting attacked by wolves or bears.

[-] amgine@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago

A friends husband refused to go on a trip to Canada because he was convinced they would be attacked by bears. They were going to Toronto

[-] youcantreadthis@quokk.au 7 points 5 days ago

I had a froend who was attacked by bears in toronto. Had a great time.

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[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 35 points 6 days ago

These wolves look super cute tho.

[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 17 points 6 days ago

"Felt cute, might rip throats out later " - Wolfy bois

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[-] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 31 points 6 days ago
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[-] lena@gregtech.eu 29 points 6 days ago

This was written by a wolf

[-] RustyShackleford@piefed.social 24 points 6 days ago
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[-] FauxPseudo@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

Two wolves inside you? Add more wolves.

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[-] djdarren@piefed.social 20 points 5 days ago

There are two wolves in me, and I'm glad I came to this furry convention.

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

Inside you are two deer populations

[-] heartpunk25@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

These have to be the most adorable killer wolves. One is even winking at us! Idk if that is a good thing.

[-] bampop@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

It's so embarrassing when you think a wolf is winking at you but it's really winking at the wolf behind you

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[-] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 5 days ago

But pro hunting groups would say wolves are "threatening their way of life."

Bitch we threatened wolves' way of life when we exterminated them from habitats. Dear are not meant to populate where they have in numbers they have. The ecosystem didn't evolve that way.

[-] Codpiece@feddit.uk 18 points 6 days ago

Old memes reposted? Wolves. :)

[-] Sisyphe@lemmy.world 26 points 6 days ago
[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Chuck Testa in 2026. Who'd've thought...

[-] Hupf@feddit.org 3 points 4 days ago
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

Did the CEO of wolves write this?

[-] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Not boars, tho.
Wolves prefer not to fuck with adult boars.
Even when European lions were still around, they'd rather go for something else over a boar. Even bear cubs or baby mammoths, with all the risks involved.
Without some metal animal like Komodo dragons, it falls to humans to keep them in check.

[-] Soup@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Humans with guns and preferably a helicopter.

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Good luck spotting and hitting boar from a helicopter without like extensive thermal vision and and some massive minigun and even then it's gonna be hard.

Sneaky fuckers running in the undergrowth.

Remember they got Bobby as well

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[-] Una@europe.pub 11 points 6 days ago

Good puppies :3

[-] Arkthos@pawb.social 9 points 5 days ago

This entire thread is just Werewolf the Apocalypse in a nutshell lmao.

The concept of the game boils down to eco-terrorist werewolves getting mad and tearing the billionaires, factories, and the elementary school class that had a kid accidentally litter to shreds.

[-] TheoryofChange@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago

I especially like releasing wolves inside the capitol..

[-] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 8 points 6 days ago

If you're struggling with super thick thighs and want to lose some weight, wolves eating just one of your legs will reduce your weight greatly.

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[-] Jaberw0cky@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

I had nearly the same conversation with my 10 year old today about how there is no problem in the world that couldn’t be solved with a giant space laser… stuck in a traffic jam, solution, giant space laser, annoying neighbour giant space laser, it could solve everything.

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[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

What's up with Moon Moon in the corner there?

[-] BillyClark@piefed.social 7 points 5 days ago

Recently, I seem to have a problem that there are too many wolves around. I've lost three children this month alone.

[-] Malgas@beehaw.org 10 points 5 days ago

Believe it or not, release more wolves.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Check your local Republican Party HQ.

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[-] zout@fedia.io 8 points 6 days ago

Since about three years, there are wolves roaming in my area. I'm still fat.

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 13 points 6 days ago

Well how many did you eat?

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[-] JuliaSuraez@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Wolves really went from ecosystem management to solving everything 😭 nature’s multitool apparently.

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this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
1321 points (99.2% liked)

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