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The Lt. Colonel then left the stage without taking questions from pre-approved press.

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[-] dmonzel@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago

A dinosaur preserve from the river to the sea? Doesn't sound too bad, honestly.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

And what do you think they will do once they have resurrected dinosaurs in their hospital laboratories? They will unleash dinosaur jihad on the west. Only the IDF stands between order and chaos.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

I need a refresher. Wasn't Jurassic Park about the hubris of a bunch of white people who loved building cages that couldn't keep the caged inside? And then brought a bunch of people to party near one of the enclosures before a terrible intelligence blunder allowed the caged to roam free and attack the partygoers? Didn't it end with the survivors fleeing the place and the caged taking over?

I'm just asking questions. I'm as confused as you!

[-] TBooneChickens@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago
[-] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 11 months ago

A perfect metaphor for the United States inshallah

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago
[-] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

holy shit dyna-soar reference?

[-] Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

So Hamas will slowly evolve into birds?

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Imagine yourself in the anthropocenne. You step onto a street, and there he is. He moves like a bird, bobbing his head, and you keep still thinking his strategic warfare doctrine is based on combine arms like the Soviets. But no, not hamas. You stare at him and he just stares right back.

And that's when the attack comes fwwwwwwwwwwp. Not from the front, but from the sides. The other two Hamas you didn't even know were there. You see Hamas uses coordinated attack patterns, and is out in force today.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 1 points 11 months ago

IDF: Look, they're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive ... they smell

Reporter: They do not smell.

IDF: Some of them smell.

Reporter: Oh, give me a break!

IDF: Hamas Babies smell!

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago

Really the possibilities for Jurassic Park bits out of this are endless, spared no expense.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 2 points 11 months ago

IDF: I don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it. I bring the UN here to protect me from Hamas, and the only one I’ve got on my side is the blood-sucking Biden.

biden-alert: Thank you!

biden-rember: What, we'll have a, uh, four-hour corridor per day or something.

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 2 points 11 months ago

What, we'll have a, uh, four-hour corridor per day or something.

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 2 points 11 months ago

England: You wanna have one of those?

Scotland: I don't want that revolutionary movement, but a breed of armed separatism could be intriguing

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

No longer needing paragliders as each new generation contains more and more dinosaur DNA.

the paragliders were the first stage of that

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Oh man, oh man, oh geez. I didn't worry enough when they said Hamas was a Voldemort, but they didn't tell me Hamas was a T-Rex! They must be stopped!

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

clicking to the next slide, the audience gasped as the Lt. Col. displayed a picture of a gigantic ape on the Empire State Building holding a white woman. He began to sob as he tried to get through the sentence, "this is what Hamas wants."

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 11 months ago

Well, now I'm confused. I'm actually pro-giant ape, so maybe Hamas isn't all that bad? I hate all this thinking stuff! I wish someone else could just do it for me!

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
68 points (100.0% liked)

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