823
Discord rule (lemmy.world)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] DrDominate@lemmy.world 149 points 1 year ago

I like how the response emojis say "No" and "I came"

[-] Nima@lemmy.world 62 points 1 year ago

the "1984" got me good. XD

[-] SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 80 points 1 year ago

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.” - Ernest Cline

[-] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

If this isn't a joke (which i think it is), you have a very skewed sense of scientists. If it is a joke, then carry on my dude.

[-] SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago
[-] Send_me_nude_girls@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Masturbation is an innovator. So many inventions go back to "because porn". Take current AI development for example, there's a massive drive because porn and porn has only one job.

[-] sgbrain7@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

"The little man in the canoe" might be the best one I've heard yet

[-] TheTetrapod@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

God, I fucking hate Ernest Cline.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 72 points 1 year ago

Ridiculous! We should protest this by making Lemmy posts for announcing masturbations

[-] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago

Yes annocement #1: im now mastrobating

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

omg, pls! why??? im in bed trying to get sleepy so i can go to work with decent rest tomorrow, but instead, im in bed lmao because you guys want to start a ridiculous movement 😆

[-] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was on the nyc subway when this happened. I was chilling browsing the Web when one my homies hit me up on discord and sent me a gif of a big musslely black man doing the thugshaker I then began to start furiously mastrobating to the picture of the big mussley blackman doing the thugshaker people started looking at me and saying things such as omg and stop it I then in a haste dropped my phone and one by one all the other men in the train started to furiously mastrobate too. My peenis was but a little stub at this point.by the end the entire train was filled with mastrobating men all hovered over one phone playing a gif of a man doing the thugshaker. Be warned @I'm back on my bs you may suffer the same fate to if your not careful

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Globeparasite@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago
[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Yeah, it's discord, not fucking 4chan. Have a little decorum, ya reprobate.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago

But its still ok to announce when you have just returned from masturbating, right?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Just please wash your hands first.

[-] filcuk@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago

Not before a nice wet high five!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Zidane@lemmy.world 52 points 1 year ago

Definitely don't have a text channel for announcing jerkin it

[-] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 44 points 1 year ago
[-] Klear@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago

The only correct way to announce masturbation.

[-] asteriskeverything@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

Now if it was mostly female strangers it would be at least understandable.

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago

Yeah, that was a weird way to put that. Clearly nobody in that group has social skills.

[-] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago
[-] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Abnorc@lemm.ee 25 points 1 year ago

Please redirect all such messages to the masturbation announcement channel.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 24 points 1 year ago

Hey everyone, I'm going to choke my snake!

[-] AdaleiM@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

it's been three hours, did everything work out

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

How'd you go, bud?

[-] r3df0x@7.62x54r.ru 24 points 1 year ago

My brother is autistic and this is the type of autistic person who is hated by other autistic people. This is why autistic people hate mentioning it, because they get lumped in with these people.

[-] ieightpi@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

Pardon me, but what the hell are you going on about?

[-] r3df0x@7.62x54r.ru 30 points 1 year ago
[-] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Could it be that you are commenting under the wrong Post?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Wait, this is getting even more interesting. Who is the kind of autistic person that is hated by other autistic people: (a) people that try to be nice about enforcing a no masterbation announcement rule or (b) people that announce they are going to go masterbate? Also, does your brother fall under a, b, or something else?

[-] Vytle@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

It's almost definitely B. Most people on the spectrum would not say "im gonna go masturbate" and those who are would use autism as an excuse for why they behave that way, which is just not valid. Autism can make it harder to behave in a way that is socially acceptable, but not like this, hence why others on the spectrum dont like people like this. They use autism as a sort of sheild to allow them to behave in ways that are just not right. The best example of this i can think of off hand is Chris-Chan, but they are an extreme case of this. Anyways, people like this make it harder to be upfront on the fact that you are on the spectrum, because the first thing that comes to mind will be people like that.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Elon Musk claims to be autistic and he uses it as a shield.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] r3df0x@7.62x54r.ru 9 points 1 year ago

Autistic people who announce when they're going to masturbate make all other autistic people cringe for being so incredibly unaware and making the rest of them look weird.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Discord statuses after this announcement be like:

[-] bleistift2@feddit.de 19 points 1 year ago

That discord’s users must have dedication to make these emotion reactions happen.

[-] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

You clearly haven't seen the uk embassy discord

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Clbull@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a server full of master baiters.

[-] Gbagginsthe3rd@aussie.zone 14 points 1 year ago

Go away, baitn

[-] awnery@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

as if discord is where weird chat was invented. what's that, me, oh i'm not familiar at all with the ancient chats!

[-] ramius345@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[-] Veneroso@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Okay, what about jousting? Hear me out okay!? Isn't that how the large hardon collider works?

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2023
823 points (99.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26840 readers
1736 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS