When I first moved to L.A., you needed a prescription card to buy weed. I had zero experience with edibles. I was going on a flight, and my friend, who had a card, asked me if I wanted an edible for the flight. I said, what the hell. He asked me what strength and I said "the strongest."

First of all, once it kicked in, all I could say to my wife as she drove me to the airport was, "I'm so high."

Then I was on a something like eight-hour flight high off my ass, unable to stretch out or move or even do much. And this was pre-smartphone days, so I couldn't even relax and watch a movie.

Do not do really strong edibles and fly commercially in the 2000s is what I'm saying.

I mistimed it one time and got lost on the way to the airport. I'm wandering the streets, getting more amnd more high and things are starting to look less and less familiar. Finally I get it together enough to call a taxi (in tears) and the operator tells me I'm only a block away and calmly gives me directions. I made my flight just in time and am forever grateful to that kind soul.

Elmo doesn't have separated fingers. He's a mitten.

Edibles are a spell with a verbal component.

"John"