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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by moonlake@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

It would be cool if we had a self-improvement comm.

As leftists, we understand that a lot of individual problems are caused by systemic issues. However, I think that there is still a lot that can be done on the individual level to improve your life.

Most online self-improvement spaces have a reactionary slant and are dominated by the same type of guy, which is another great reason to have a self-improvement comm on this website.

EDIT: our awesome admins created the new comm and our awesome comrade @SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net stepped up to moderate it, please check it out and start posting: https://hexbear.net/c/self_improvement

Are there any improovers here? What would you like to improve in 2024? Would you like to have a comm where we can hang out? solidarity

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[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 50 points 10 months ago

Can't improve on perfection

[-] Pluto@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

You're my spirit animal.

[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 38 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'd like to improve almost everything but I get paralyzed and disheartened when I realize how far behind I am at my age. Maybe a comm would be cool though.

[-] invo_rt@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago
[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

It's never too late, comrade! There is no point in comparing yourself to others since everybody has different circumstances. It's best to compare yourself to your past self and see how much progress you have made.

I recommend starting small and adding some healthy habits first. For example, you can download a step counting app and try to walk for at least 3000-4000 steps every day. I also recommend listening to self-improvement podcasts, since it's an easy way to absorb useful information. You can listen to them while walking or washing the dishes. I also recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, it's a good book and has a lot of useful advice. You can do this chief solidarity

[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Thanks for the encouragement. Any specific pods you can recommend?

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

I'm a huge podcast enjoyer, here are some recommendations:

Huberman Lab - the host is a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford. This is my favourite episode, it has a lot of actionable advice

The Tim Ferris Show - the guy interviews successful people from all fields. There are a lot of episodes so you can choose the guests which you like

10% Happier - this one is focused on stuff like meditation, mindfulness, mental health and Buddhism. My favourite episode is with the autor of Atomic Habits

The Art of Manliness - the title is a bit cringe but it's a good podcast and there is no toxic masculinity

Life Kit - a podcast by NPR on how to do stuff

The Psychology Podcast - different topics from psychology but it's not too dry because every episode is an interview of a different guest

It's Not Just In Your Head - how mental health problems are caused by living in hellworld

Wrestling With Depression - open conversations with people going thru stuff, except a lot of them are comedians so it's funny as well

Overdue - podcast about books. The hosts are very nice and have decent politics

The Antifada - my favourite leftist podcast

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I started music super late and I've had a lot of horrible curve balls thrown my way that came with starting late, including teachers who did not want to work with my lack of ability/newness/inmmaturity and an insane amount of student loans that I had to truly suffer to pay off. But I'm glad I still did it, especially now that I'm starting to feel my time and skill coalescence into something worthy. I'm proud of my journey, I have a unique journey and I know at some point that perspective will be useful.

Additionally, I think there's an aspect/sense of journey that one gets that can't possibly be felt to someone who hasn't started. The journey itself is worth the price of admission.

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

In general, unless you're talking about something physical like learning a sport, you'll pick up things faster relative to people who are learning it at the socially appropriate age because you'll have more life experience and better time management skills.

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[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago

It's already over if you're gonna use 4chan slang and memes

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago

It's so joever wojak-nooo

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago

I'd be up for this if we can mix together things in a way that makes it unlike any other.

Reading, artistic improvement, personal improvement, physical improvement, emotional improvement, spiritual improvement, interpersonal improvement, all rolled up into one.

Spaces like this are usually super exclusionary, cis white straight, the "improvement" is usually only in one direction such as something like getting physically stronger when in reality some people might want a more femboy body or a more womanly body or a more androgynous body and the methods for achieving all of those things are completely different. An environment where everyone is comfortable asking about all of these things would be a good one.

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Yeah, allow any self improvement posts that aren't deeply problematic. Make it a common space for learning. We're all united in wanting to be our best selves.

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I agree with everything you said, let's do that 100-com

[-] CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago

My job has started to eat into my ability to take care of myself. In the new year I'd love to get back into cooking for myself more regularly, reading regularly (I read 50 books in 2022 and like 23 this year), and even just brushing and flossing better, but I really might have to leave the job behind.

The other thing that I've figured out with the help of a therapist is that my avoident attachment style has made it hard to lean in and be vulnerable in my relationships, romantic or otherwise, and that it's too easy to withdraw at the first sign of tension or imbalance. I'd like to do better at openly telling people that I love them or want to spend time with them instead of keeping my cards to my chest in order to accomodate and mirror how they're feeling.

Other than that I had a fantastic and exhilerating 2023 and mostly just want to build on it.

[-] material_delinquent@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

Hi, I am trying to kick my videogames addiction

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 23 points 10 months ago

As a g*mer, I cannot fully support this goal but I'm still wishing you the best of luck in your endeavor solidarity

[-] Lurkerino@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I did that by becoming a game dev lol

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[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I've already decided that 2024 was gonna be my year a few months ago.

I'm going to get my upper body drum technique comprehensively together, I have just a few topics I want to hit left: the one I'm currently on which is shoulders and forearms, then I'll move to press rolls and then lastly traditional grip. I'm worried the traditional grip might take longer than I'm hoping so this one and the below might blend together.

After that I'm going to spend a few months focusing in on one drummer at a time. I'm thinking Max Roach, Art Blakey, Philly Joe Jones, Roy Haynes to start myself off. I'd also like to dig deep into Brian Blade, Kenny Washington and Ralph Peterson as they were two modern drummers that made me feel something when I first became interested in music. Some other drummers I think are worth investing into are Ed Thigpen and Harold Jones.

I also want to lose ten lbs and eat cleaner.

[-] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

Oooooo I'm about to improoove!

[-] dumpster_dove@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

I often find myself playing video games when I could be reading, even though I know I'd enjoy reading more, at least in the long term. Gonna try to change the habit.

[-] Pluto@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

I can't play video games anymore because I read too much.

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[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

I am already a self-improvement freak and I would like to continue improving in many areas, including sleep, nutrition, exercise, reading, grass-touching and so on.

Some stuff that I want to do:

  • I want to learn to cook more healthy meals. My nutrition is mostly healthy but I'm always eating the same few meals that I've learned. I also want to eat more plant-based food.
  • have a regular sleep routine and read books before bed instead of shitposting in the megathread lol
  • read 12 books
  • exercise regularly and go running at least once a week but ideally twice a week
  • touch grass more often and hang out with people

There's more of it but it's all pretty basic stuff

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I'd say a lot of these are domino things. Exercising more makes sleep easier. Getting more nutrient dense food like veggies also makes sleep easier.

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[-] Pluto@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago

I might be an improover

Well, I stopped, to a degree

It was too productivist and too negative.

[-] RonPaulyShore@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

acknowledging bmf's sketch of a critique ("neoliberal-subject.jpg" or w/e), this is probably cool -- we're already posting, an ur-practice of neolib subjects, but working at setting and achieving goals, and discussing these with others, mitigates that concern, at least somewhat.

maybe there could be a cross-over with the theory reading group (is there such a thing? sometimes a book gets pinned i think), or the fitness sub.

[-] peppersky@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

I'd like to try to lose a little weight, find a new living situation, spend more focused time on my hobbies, waste less time mindlessly on the internet and maybe get a bit more involved in the local organizations. lots to improove especially compared to the current year where ive really felt i kinda let myself go

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Those are some great goals, I'm wishing you success! solidarity

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Been drinking about half of what I usually do over the past few weeks. Started reading some decolonial marxist theory the other day. Going to try and complete the Chunka Luta network's "required reading" list. Choosing better stuff to eat. Going to try going to the gym in a couple months after the new year's crowd dies down. Things are looking good, honestly bloomer

[-] drinkinglakewater@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I would like to improove. Gonna brainstorm some stuff

If a comm does not get approved, maybe a weekly mega on /c/chat or something?

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

Hell yeah, is there something specific you would like to improve? I hope we can get a comm but a weekly/monthly megathread is a great plan B

[-] drinkinglakewater@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

I think my main goals are trying to get consistent with exercise and crack down on my sugar addiction.

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[-] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

Same. Here's my list in no particular order:

Get back to college, get some skills I can put on a resume, get friends and a gf, get a hobby, get abs.

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[-] privatized_sun@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago
[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I philosophically disagree with self improvement as a mindset, this idea that you’re supposed to change yourself to be better. I don’t think that’s how anything worse, you adapt your circumstances so you are inclined to do what you want to do instead

Self-improvement implies an inherent dissatisfaction with oneself, a fundamental and cosmic insecurity which one attempts to overcome through superficial changes in routine or habit. It would be hypocritical for me to suggest people simply kick that attitude away, though, especially because it’s obviously instilled through years of social interactions and attitudes that enforce it; Not some sort of personal attribute

[-] BruceDoh@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Self-improvement implies an inherent dissatisfaction with oneself

I would view it more as an admission that your current habits and behaviors do not correlate 100% with desired outcomes.

The idea of self-improvement is highly subjective and unique to the individual. You get to decide what is important to you and what you are willing to sacrifice. If you don't think you need it, that's great!

There is a lot bullshit in self help, but reflecting on your behaviors and their outcomes is a core aspect of the most clinically tested mental health exercises.

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yeah, for that to properly work you have to viciously attack and disentangle why you want what you want, how toxic norms and the productive mode of capitalism influences what you have been told is good or bad behavior.

There’s a reason why self-improvement spaces are made up of exactly one type of guy: It’s all people struggling to meet up to the expectations instilled in them of exactly one type of successful person.

This is why I despise the term self-improvement. It implies improving oneself towards some sort of better norm. But what is better, in this case? Being happier? Sure, most people want to be happier, but part of life is feeling sad, and trying to will yourself happier, rather than changing the conditions that made you sad in the first place, is a recipe for disaster.

But that’s probably the most reasonable thing people “improve” towards. For most, I’d bet money that self-improvement is about becoming more of a “Gigachad”, becoming more attractive, becoming more productive, or emotionally castrating yourself so things don’t get to you as much. Not because they think those things will make them happier, but because that’s what success and improvement is to them. And, to be honest, what improvement is to most people.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean changing your habits or behaviors is some sort of impossible or inherently wrong activity, just that it should be done for a purpose someone arrives to while having the context for all of these things, and that’s my problem with the term self-improvement: It implies you’re improving yourself towards some objective goal, rather than just doing stuff that accomplishes the goals you have.

I would suggest a term like “revolutionary behavior” to reflect the sort of DBT-communist merge that I think both you and I are sort of reaching towards

[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

So like in dumb guy words you dont like self-improvement because the culture surrounding it, it's generally intended end goal and how pointless participating in "self-improvement TM" is if the surrounding context doesn't match your ambitions?

[-] WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

I guess yeah

In even dumber guy words I’m fine with it but feel like the comm should be called something else to discourage the nerds

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[-] Gay_Wrath@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I should probably stop vaping so much weed but also, i'm probably not going to do that

i also am looking to lick some capitalist boots and get a new job that pays more, i already started the job search. Looks like we're heading into a depression so probably not going to find anything, but whatever, i'm gonna do pirated job training so eventually i'll get a better job.

[-] Melina@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Im in a sort of partnership with someone I met in November and I’m hoping for the best I really want to keep seeing this person for many more years

[-] SoyViking@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

In 2024 I would like to, in no particular order:

  • Find better coping mechanisms when I'm stressed and feeling sad
  • Be better at asserting my wishes and boundaries in a constructive and positive way.
  • Be better at opening up about my emotions
  • Start the process of getting something done about my abysmal personal finances and my mountain of debt
  • Loose weight and get a healthier body
  • Dress better
  • Eat less junk
  • Get our new place fixed up and build all the stuff that's going to make it nice and cozy.
  • Have a social life and see people on a regular basis who are not family members or work related
  • Somehow manage my time better to get more leisure time and less stress.

All of these issues are intertwined and affects eachother. On good days I hope that improving one is going to make the other ones easier, on bad days I fear that trying to improve one will divert energy from keeping the other ones at bay, eventually forcing me to abandon my efforts in order to put out the fires created by neglecting the others.

[-] moonlake@hexbear.net 3 points 10 months ago

That's a good list, I have some of these things on my list too.

My pro tip is to try making a bit of progress almost every day, no matter how tiny. Nothing is too small. Just having that feeling of "I am making progress" is really motivating to me.

My other pro tip is to track your progress.

I do it by journaling. It can often feel (especially on bad days) that you're stuck and not making any progress at all. I have made some really good progress in the past few years and the only way I'm aware of that is because I've been writing stuff down and journaling. If I didn't do that, I would feel like I haven't made any progress.

[-] commiespammer@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

I hope I can finally pull my studying together systematically.

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[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

gonna be traveling from jan 8 until october so i'm prolly gonna lose a bunch of weight and get tan just from that. otherwise im tryna cut back on drinking and weed, plus learn to code(tm) so i can get a less boring office job if teaching english doesn't work out

Death to America

[-] Cherufe@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

The megathread is the improvement comm if you post there every time you do something to better yourself

[-] FumpyAer@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

I have a yearlong membership to a music learning program and I will practice [the instrument I play] every day. Even if it's only 5 minutes I will not go a day without touching it unless I'm traveling.

Also I have to exercise more, I'm at the age where I can't afford not to be fit. 2x a week minimum but 4x would be ideal.

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this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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