769
Living forever (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by lawrence@lemmy.world to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
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[-] tubaruco@lemm.ee 87 points 9 months ago

all of the comments are assuming this is how evolution works... and most dont even seem to be sarcastic

do people really think this is how it works or am i going crazy?

[-] fristislurper@feddit.nl 42 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

People really think this. Most peoples knowledge stops at "evolution is when thing become better". And people that do realize don't talk about evolutionary pressure in the gut microbiome in the comic community.

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 38 points 9 months ago

They got their evolution knowledge from digimon. Bacteria turns into dinosaur turns into refrigerator turns into skeleton.

[-] affiliate@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

then it turns into car

[-] PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago

Yeah, obviously they won't evolve into dinosaurs, they'll evolve into crabs

[-] lapommedeterre@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

try { lifeform.Evolve(); } catch(...) { lifeform.Crab(); }

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

If they live forever, they're not evolving. They're mutating.

[-] tubaruco@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

the person lives forever, its the bacteria inside them that evolves

[-] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Mitochondria. They found their niche (every multicellular creature in the world) and won. Very little change since then.

[-] unreachable@lemmy.world 49 points 9 months ago

the origin story of life on earth

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 19 points 9 months ago

Just wait until your evolved bacteria turn you into a toxic wasteland.

Wait, wasn't this a Futurama episode?

[-] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 17 points 9 months ago

Fry eats gas station sushi and gets parasites. They actually improve everything about him, but he fights them off because he wants to know Leela is attracted to him and not whom the worms made him into.

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 19 points 9 months ago

Ah, actually I was thinking the one where bender is floating in space and the colony of little aliens on his belly go to war with the ones on his ass

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 9 months ago

I was thinking of the "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" episode where they become God and plant life on the new planet.

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

They sure played with this theme a lot

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 14 points 9 months ago

straightens glasses

adjusts pocket protector

Ummm, ackchyually, it was an egg salad sandwich, not sushi.

[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago

The hero we need, not the hero we deserve.

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

My ancestors came in on the sandwich

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Lucky! The closest I get to that is that one of my ancestors came ON a sandwich.

Yeah, we don't tend to mention great-uncle Dave much..

[-] Sho@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Gas station egg salad sandwich, with a black tomato slice

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 36 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Fredric Brown wrote a fun very short story (he was known for page-long short stories) about a scientist who discovered immortality and took the serum, but he had a cold at the time, so the bacteria also became immortal, took over his body, became pneumonia and put him in a coma. Eventually, his colleagues buried him.

Edit: Found the story. Got the details slightly wrong, but the gist was the same- https://fb2.top/the-second-fredric-brown-megapack-434391/read/part-16

[-] palordrolap@kbin.social 2 points 9 months ago

Yikes. You don't bury immortal bacteria. You burn them so they're not bacteria any more,

[-] Mamertine@lemmy.world 32 points 9 months ago

Luckily, the body naturally purges out unwelcome living inhabitants in the GI tract.

As in your diarrhea them out before they could burst out through your abs.

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

But... what if they evolve the ability to survive purges and then put the skill points into bursting out via abs?

[-] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Jokes on them, I don't have abs

[-] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago

I mean, what kind of immortality are we talking about here?

If your cells have been locked into "last known good configuration" then there's no reason for anything inside you to evolve because nothing is changing.

Or maybe you aren't immutable, but like a ship of theseus, in which case why would your internal biome evolve away from the eternally balanced environment it lives in? Crabs haven't evolved for millenia because once perfection is achieved, where else can you evolve?

Tldr, what I'm saying is, vampires should be more worried about bursting with crabs than dinos.

[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago

Great, not only do we have to worry about vampires, now we have to worry about vampires that give us crabs too? What a world we live in.

[-] ammonium@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Are the bacteria inside you part of you?

[-] nexguy@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Just before they burst out you get to live a symbiotic beneficial relationship with internal dinosaurs.

[-] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

New fear unlocked

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

By the time that happens you'll have carcinized and your chitinous shell will be strong enough to hold them in

(yes I know carcinization doesn't work that way)

[-] tubaruco@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

well evolution doesnt work that way either so its fine

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

That's just more friends to outlive :(

[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 4 points 9 months ago

No the best part is getting to find out firsthand:-).

this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
769 points (96.9% liked)

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