Learn to wrap your burritos you suckface food noob.

When someone says their burritos won't stay shut I immediately know that they don't know what they're doing.

This is only a problem if you can't roll a burrito...

Pan-sear your burritos shut.

I like to crisp up my burrito in a pan after I roll it. if you brown the side with the opening first then the juices trying to escape soften up the tortilla enough to get cooked together. It's like welding a burrito shut.

On this episode of redundant inventions that already have a better solution...

Wouldn't your hand work really well to keep the burrito closed while you're eating it?

It’s called not using a cold ass tortilla

a properly constructed burrito is wrapped in aluminum foil and can be eaten, even while walking, without making a mess.

edible tape sounds like something with useful applications, but i am sad for the people who believe burritos require this.

If your burrito doesn't stay closed, the person making your burrito had no idea what the hell they were doing. This is a Chipotle problem.

Who the fuck doesn't know how to hold a burrito?

Corporate food has created unholy tasteless dry abominations called "tortillas". They have convinced Americans that this is what tortillas are. They have played us for absolute fools.

Real tortillas are freshly made wet dough immediately squished and cooked before forming burrito. They are delicious and sticky enough to hold on their own. It's perfect but not mass producible.

Why not use a small piece of Nori (the salty Sushi seaweed) and moisten it up with water and use that?

I did this for years

Call me up when they invent edible zippers.

This is why it's important to have a diverse college campus.

Is this a common problem? I've almost never had a burrito fall apart on me unless it outright rips--I once made the mistake of ordering a burrito in Scotland, and that was pretty formless, but it was also less a burrito and more an embarrassment hiding under an ill-fitting tortilla.

I remember an episode of figure it out on nickelodeon a long time ago that was exactly this.

YouTube

I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.