shocking dicovery

this one truly does spark joy...

The maker is probably not aware of the current battery sizes

We don't know. There is no banana for scale.

And warmer!

Reminds me of this.

It will unleash the battery's potential

Correct, horse!

Perfectly. Legal. Thrill.

You can also get that from just the label. The CCA rating (cold cranking amps) is the max current that specific battery can supply in short bursts. 600 CCA is pretty typical, but I've seen up to 900 in the batteries I ship.

Hmm. Giving it away a bit here. He cringes well before it discharges.

With that hand, anyway.

I work in an auto parts warehouse:

Yeah, they'd be fine. It's surprisingly difficult to break them apart. The load would spread out to almost the full width of the battery on either end (ie the plates attached to the terminals against the underside of the lid). Some of the models I ship use plastic straps that hook onto the seam between the lid and base and you can really toss em around before they take damage. (some people are less than gentle with parts :/ but I'm not the manager so 🤷)

Some of the larger batteries with screw terminals might not survive, but the ones where these clamp style are used would be fine.

And a face full of acid, I imagine

You just gotta use long screws to firmly connect it to the battery, or else it slips off.

How long can you hold the handle once it's attached to a fully loaded battery?

A bit of copper would spice things up