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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

They smelled like beans and mushrooms and when I shook their hand they gave me a small rat and told me it was "one for the road".

They had green skin like a goblin and had a shirt that said "Xi is my god".

I didn't feel safe. Be careful out there, and lock your doors too because I hear they steal your passive income.

all 42 comments
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[-] marx_mentat@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago

I met a hexbear once. They were making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me and the baby called me a liberal.

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

I actually have a pocket full of rats looking for side kicks and I help them find plucky humans to take under their wing.

This was me. You met me.

[-] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago
[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aaaaaa nooo I don't want my pre-transition life knowwwwnnnnn bocchi-cry

[-] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Oh no. I am so sorry comrat

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The people will know of my bloody struggle 💪

[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 15 points 1 year ago

Can we meet? I need another rat to help me think of ways to takeover the world.

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

rat-salute

The humans had their chance muhahahaha

[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 13 points 1 year ago

I for one accept our rat overlords. I’m just saying, I can be of use!!

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

You will be spared 🫂

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

Hi, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour?

spoiler

[-] NoYouLogOff@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

My passive income, no!

[-] forcequit@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago
[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

I learnt the hard way. The rat they gave me ate every bean in my house

[-] forcequit@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

I'll take a rat over a snitch

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You're saying I DESERVED to be bean ratted?!

Hexbears revealing their HORRIFIC TROLLING METHODS

[-] forcequit@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

I unabashedly denounce meeting irl, I care for a lot of you but trust few. This site's history is pockmarked with bad actors, and dedicated ones at that. Just the nature of the internet, don't cross the streams etc

I'll stick to merely supplanting social interaction rather than try actualising it.

Also giant-rat

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

this

(for real folks It's like internet rule 1 to never meet irl, too many creepys out there.)

[-] forcequit@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Care-Comrade (sorry for your rat)

This rat over here eatin' beans!

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

the hexbears turned me into a newt

[-] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

It was me, I sold your apes!

[-] Antiwork@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago
[-] Owl@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

And my axe.

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

What's the going rate now?

Is it 3 apes + a slurpjuice gets you laid or is that wishful thinking by them?

[-] SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

One of them randomly handed me a folded up sheet of paper with :PIGPOOPBALLS: on it on the bus

[-] BoneDemonBoofer@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 1 year ago

I'm using this as a copy pasta now. This had me fucking rolling.

[-] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

I thought I met one once, turned out it was just a grizzly that had been cursed.

[-] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Weird, I only hand out possum-dog, must be a regional thing

Also despite what my shirt says I only pray to Xi in moments of extreme anguish xi-plz

Can we get an opossum Hotdog plushie?

[-] Freeanotherday@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

I heard they all smell like owl piss.

[-] PandaBearGreen@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Xi is my God, so what?

[-] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

At least they did not come at you with a comically large spoon

stalin-spoon

[-] daquackeryspreads@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Me too; they called me a lib and wanted to deport me to America. Vile shit I tell you... wouldn't wish America to my worst enemy.

[-] axont@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I met a hexbear one time and I was loudly told to get back inside because I was mistaken for a cat (I'm small and covered in fur)

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Couldn't be a Hexbear user, they didn't call you a lib

this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
145 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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