100
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP LOOKING FOR PLASTIC IN MY GENITALS
well because a functioning dick and balls are kinda important to the continued existence of our species and they're just hanging out
should probably check in the ovaries too but those are a bit harder to check up on
I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to make a joke about a dude having a chance with lesbians by comparing a plastic filled dick with a dildo but no matter how I approach it it just ends up way more offensive than it is funny for like at least three different reasons 
So instead I just bring you the remains of this aborted joke and say "imagine if I were funny"
Wow, what if that
I only speak for the silent masses
Utterly unfunny and proud
Damn, it's hella sick that ancient tree and dinosaur goo turned out to be a madness rune hidden underground just waiting for our dumb asses. Real rad that humanity as a species just speedran our way to Moderan in just a couple hundred years.
what kind of lazy sci fi writing is this where the dominant species increased like 10 tech levels in a century by using some sticky undergroud goop, and they used it both as a combustible fuel, as a solvent, as biochemistry feedstock and to create polymers?
and pretty much all their vehicles are fueled by different versions of this goo? and all of their doodads and doohickeys are made from it? this one underground goo? sure, why not make it a drug that lets you see the future too.
and the economies of entire neo-feudal states are based entirely on sitting on top of this goo? come on.
and the goo is so cursed that it causes Gaia's Vengence on the whole planet? storms and droughts and corruption of the flesh? is this science fantasy now?
i expected better from the writers honestly.
at Drakes Well, the seal was broken
I can do nothing to resolve this problem and I can do nothing with this information so I am just going to continue on as if I had not read this
Welp. I have no choice but to get rid of it then 
I've been wondering if the stuff will go in the plastics or the residual waste bin ever since they found microplastics in balls.
we told you to put the oil back in the earth and now, now look! the oil is in your dick! i told you this wpuld happen 
And will probably stop working soon!
The samples were taken from study participants who had been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction (ED) and were in the hospital to undergo surgery for penile implants to treat the condition at the University of Miami between August and September 2023.
The samples were then analyzed using chemical imaging, which revealed that four of the five men had microplastics in their penile tissue.
How long before they just cut out the middle-men and 3D print you an attachable penis at puberty?
Appstore for penises. Calling it now.
Uh, you can’t feel sensation through plastic. It’ll never take off.
Just connect it to the prostate and take it off for going to the bathroom
Bud, those are totally different feelings. Not substitutes.
You can't have it all with a substitute and at least it lets you have some feeling.
A totally different statement, but also one I can agree with.
If you stop paying your dick app subscription you won't be able to get hard anymore
Yeah well I’ve got MACROPLASTICS in my penis
even free range cum isnt safe anymore 😔
Soon there will be no difference between an actual penis and a strap on
I just can't stop winning 
Published by “Jack Guy” lmao awesome
1: sample size of 5 lol
2: how are the samples taken
1: A small sample size is perfectly fine for the claims their making, which is just that they've detected micro plastics for the first time.
2: It says it in the linked study
Tissue samples were extracted from six individuals who underwent surgery for a multi-component inflatable penile prosthesis (IPP). Samples were obtained from the corpora using Adson forceps before corporotomy dilation and device implantation and placed into cleaned glassware. A control sample was collected and stored in a McKesson specimen plastic container.
declared the most urgent human crisis in 3... 2... 1...
They've already found microplastics in the balls
Its joever
I don't like this new Barbie movie.
Just up early with all my friends looking at dick pics on hexbear dot net
CyberDong
We are on the way to perfection: The Ken Crotch
this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
100 points (100.0% liked)
news
24560 readers
607 users here now
Welcome to c/news! We aim to foster a book-club type environment for discussion and critical analysis of the news. Our policy objectives are:
-
To learn about and discuss meaningful news, analysis and perspectives from around the world, with a focus on news outside the Anglosphere and beyond what is normally seen in corporate media (e.g. anti-imperialist, anti-Zionist, Marxist, Indigenous, LGBTQ, people of colour).
-
To encourage community members to contribute commentary and for others to thoughtfully engage with this material.
-
To support healthy and good faith discussion as comrades, sharpening our analytical skills and helping one another better understand geopolitics.
We ask community members to appreciate the uncertainty inherent in critical analysis of current events, the need to constantly learn, and take part in the community with humility. None of us are the One True Leftist, not even you, the reader.
Newcomm and Newsmega Rules:
The Hexbear Code of Conduct and Terms of Service apply here.
-
Link titles: Please use informative link titles. Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed.
-
Content warnings: Posts on the newscomm and top-level replies on the newsmega should use content warnings appropriately. Please be thoughtful about wording and triggers when describing awful things in post titles.
-
Fake news: No fake news posts ever, including April 1st. Deliberate fake news posting is a bannable offense. If you mistakenly post fake news the mod team may ask you to delete/modify the post or we may delete it ourselves.
-
Link sources: All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. If you are citing a Twitter post as news, please include the Xcancel.com (or another Nitter instance) or at least strip out identifier information from the twitter link. There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance, such as Libredirect or archive them as you would any other reactionary source.
-
Archive sites: We highly encourage use of non-paywalled archive sites (i.e. archive.is, web.archive.org, ghostarchive.org) so that links are widely accessible to the community and so that reactionary sources don’t derive data/ad revenue from Hexbear users. If you see a link without an archive link, please archive it yourself and add it to the thread, ask the OP to fix it, or report to mods. Including text of articles in threads is welcome.
-
Low effort material: Avoid memes/jokes/shitposts in newscomm posts and top-level replies to the newsmega. This kind of content is OK in post replies and in newsmega sub-threads. We encourage the community to balance their contribution of low effort material with effort posts, links to real news/analysis, and meaningful engagement with material posted in the community.
-
American politics: Discussion and effort posts on the (potential) material impacts of American electoral politics is welcome, but the never-ending circus of American Politics© Brought to You by Mountain Dew™ is not welcome. This refers to polling, pundit reactions, electoral horse races, rumors of who might run, etc.
-
Electoralism: Please try to avoid struggle sessions about the value of voting/taking part in the electoral system in the West. c/electoralism is right over there.
-
AI Slop: Don't post AI generated content. Posts about AI race/chip wars/data centers are fine.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS