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submitted 6 months ago by wombat@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

IMPORTANT NOTE: please use a VPN whenever visiting Hextube, or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. Protect your privacy.

Posting this thread a little earlier than normal because this night will be a little unusual. For this special Thursday Political Theatre Night, 9PM EST, Hexbear Comrade @dead asked the powers-that-be for a brand-new channel on Hextube, and got it, at https://live.hexbear.net/c/news , where he will host the real-life comedy movie known as the Presidential Debate. Behold as two doddering old men stumble over their words and lose their train of thought as they struggle to convince you why they should be the steward of a genocidal empire. Be prepared for psychic damage. Thank you to Comrade @dead for hosting this very special event. All credit and gratitude goes to him. Make sure to show up at 9PM sharp, as the event is live.

After the debate is over, come over to https://live.hexbear.net/c/movies for Civil War (2024), a dystopian thriller from Alex Garland, the director who brought you Ex Machina (2015) and Annihilation (2018). Oh god, America has fallen apart! Roving bands of marauders now terrorize the countryside as a group off war journalists try to reach Washington DC to understand what’s really going on. Somehow, California and Texas ended up on the same side. Will we find out how? I dunno. Let’s watch.

The debate begins at 9PM EST, and the movie will start shortly after it ends, at about 11PM EST.

Letterboxd:

Doesthedogdie.com links:

CWs for Comrade @dead presents the Presidential Debate:

  • Senility.
  • Imperialism.
  • Fascism.
  • Second-hand embarrassment.
  • Anxiety over dying empire.

CWs for Civil War:

  • Stalking.
  • Smoking,
  • Alcohol.
  • Someone is physically restrained.
  • Hand damage.
  • Someone struggles to breathe.
  • Someone is burned alive.
  • Body horror.
  • Hanging.
  • Torture.
  • Stabbing.
  • Blood and gore.
  • Death of child.
  • Someone sacrifices themselves.
  • R-slur.
  • Kidnapping.
  • Jump scares.
  • Natural bodies of water.
  • Vomiting.
  • Spitting.
  • Audio gore.
  • Destruction of monuments.
  • PTSD.
  • Mental illness.
  • Dissociation.
  • Meltdown.
  • Anxiety attacks.
  • Suicide.
  • Shaky cam.
  • Screaming.
  • Obscene language.
  • Flashing lights.
  • Hate speech.
  • Ableism.
  • Homelessness.
  • Existentialism.
  • Sad ending.
  • Car crash.
  • Screeching tires.
  • Someone is hit by a car.
  • Blood and gore.
  • Gun violence.

Links:

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[-] Coca_Cola_but_Commie@hexbear.net 52 points 6 months ago

THEY’RE ARGUING ABOUT THEIR GOLF GAMES!

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

I involuntarily Joker laughed

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 52 points 6 months ago

It's a good thing Biden is such a piece of shit because in general the idea of making someone with this much cognitive decline do a televised debate is fairly upsetting

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[-] Hohsia@hexbear.net 50 points 6 months ago

This shitshow should be all the evidence you need to understand why Americans deserve VERY limited rights

I tried so hard for so long to give the average person the benefit of the doubt, but my latest interaction with insurance companies has made my atheistic ass beg irrationally for some type of Lenin to take out the trash. Insurance companies and other capitalist pigs are the Russian tsars but with exponentially more power and influence.

As I grow older, I just realize how dumb I was having hope for Bernie in 2020, as if shit would’ve changed at all in this archaic country that is designed to fuck over anyone who didn’t benefit from generational wealth

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago

How do you reeducate an entire continent

I hope Xi has ideas

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[-] TheDeed@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

Yep same this got me feeling very doomer

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[-] brain_in_a_box@hexbear.net 50 points 6 months ago

Remember when Biden passed that extremely draconian border law, and all the libs were crowing about how genius it was because "now the Republicans can't say we're weak on border control!".

How's that going?

[-] Adkml@hexbear.net 34 points 6 months ago
[-] brain_in_a_box@hexbear.net 37 points 6 months ago

It's wild that, after all this time, Democrats still can't comprehend the idea that "Republicans can just lie"

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[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 44 points 6 months ago

CNN is running a bunch of travel ads like they realize people watching this are going to be looking for an exit.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

Good Morning America last week when I was at my parents house was basically a paid ad for Americans to get out and move to Portugal.

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[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 43 points 6 months ago

Watching two old guys determine who should be president based on their golf handicaps

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 28 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That was the best part, honestly. It was them at their realest.

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 41 points 6 months ago

Just yesterday I had a lib scoff at me for saying that America was on a downwards track while China was ascendant

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 28 points 6 months ago

Trump: "to be fair to China"

Most reasonable thing said tonight so far.

[-] grey_wolf_whenever@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago

Lol he loves big beautiful China

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[-] grey_wolf_whenever@hexbear.net 36 points 6 months ago

Straight up Biden does not look good out here dawg this is bad shit

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

Crypt keeper looking ass motherfucker

[-] micnd90@hexbear.net 36 points 6 months ago

“We’d be able wipe out his debt,” Mr. Biden said, describing how tax increases on the wealthy would increase federal revenue. “We’d be able to help make sure that all those things we need to do — child care, elder care, making sure that we continue to strengthen our health care system, making sure that we’re able to make every single solitary person eligible for what I’ve been able to do with the uh, Covid, excuse me, with dealing with everything we’ve had to do with, uh — look, if — we finally beat Medicare.”

joever

[-] Coca_Cola_but_Commie@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

Biden rolling like a soulsborne character as the physical embodiment of Medicare tries to crush him with a big hammer.

[-] Barx@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

USA! USA! USA!

We finally beat Medicare!

[-] operacion_ogro@hexbear.net 33 points 6 months ago

I'll never understand how anyone can look at Biden and not see a confused old man

[-] operacion_ogro@hexbear.net 32 points 6 months ago

It's remarkable how sharp Trump seems in comparison next to Biden. Seems like a disaster for Biden to be compared side-by-side like this

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 21 points 6 months ago

Who approved a 9pm debate lol, there aren't enough drugs in the world

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[-] orangejuche@hexbear.net 33 points 6 months ago

Biden sounds more unintelligible than I am.

-BMF

[-] orangejuche@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

Reddit is censoring everything about the debate right now HOOLLY FUCK! Emperor has no clothes.

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[-] Hohsia@hexbear.net 30 points 6 months ago

Trump got the better cocktail so he wins

[-] Rx_Hawk@hexbear.net 28 points 6 months ago

Somehow that was worse than I expected

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[-] TheDeed@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago
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[-] Melonius@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

I hope they post each contenders stats such as height, weight, special debate tactic, and respective drug cocktail mixes

[-] Adkml@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

Having their respective team of doctors on to explain their game theory behind the specific drug cocktail each of them got would be fascinating.

"We didn't want to have him burn out by the second half so he may seem a little slow at the beginning but the goal was a steady ramp up to the end, we actually tried to time the peak for about 20 minutes after the end of the debate so if he gets too manic hopefully the cameras will be off by then."

Also there should be individual interviews an hour after the debate in the chill out tents.

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[-] Yor@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

biden is actually cooked lmao

[-] orangejuche@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

This fellas is why we don’t do debates.

[-] Coca_Cola_but_Commie@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

I was going to say that Biden maybe wouldn’t have come off too bad if he hadn’t looked confused and sounded like he was dying, but his incoherent closing statement was maybe not the best look. I mean, in the rest of the debate he mostly lauded a series of largely meaningless and unimpressive policy achievements.

I liked it when he called Trump a whiner though, that was funny.

As for Trump, it was funny that the only thing he had to talk about for any given issue was the 18 million strong migrant horde come to destroy America. Which is basically Trump’s MO since 2015.

On the whole I can’t believe Biden’s camp agreed to do the debates. While it wasn’t the debacle of 2020, there was never any chance Biden walked out of this looking good.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago
[-] dead@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

the debate is over. at peak we had 200 hexbears in chat. thank you everyone who came

[-] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 22 points 6 months ago

thank you everyone who came

volcel-judge

[-] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago

It is, quite literally, Joever

[-] micnd90@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

joever

... [incoherent rambling] ... the covid ... uh ... We beat medicare

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 22 points 6 months ago

"He's right he beat Medicare, he beat it to death."

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[-] PaX@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago

Incredible debate

Certain dog vs Fentanyl Machine

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[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago

9 pm eastern

BIDEN AND TRUMP GONNA BE SO SLEEPY lets-fucking-go

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[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Two dystopian flicks in a row.

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[-] btbt@hexbear.net 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Honestly I think Biden represents me perfectly. I’m also just a guy who feels like he needs to take a nap all the time, so I’m proud to say that he’s my president

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this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
63 points (98.5% liked)

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