233
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Lyre@lemmy.ca 141 points 3 months ago

People have more or less completely forgotten that vampires are meant to represent the monstrosity of an unchecked aristocracy/wealthy upper class. They sold their souls for power and now live exclusively by feeding off those beneath them. You don't just 'become' a vampire like you don't just 'become' rich. You can certainly become enthralled to a vampire though

[-] Zozano@lemy.lol 5 points 3 months ago

I never actually realised this. Now I'm going to be thinking about every depiction of vampires I've been exposed to, for the rest of the day.

[-] Aux@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

That was never the case. Traditional folk tales about vampires were a way to understand corpse decomposition. The narrative changed in 1819.

[-] scholar@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

"That was never the case." "That then became the case."

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 134 points 3 months ago
[-] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago
[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 months ago

You can, it's just awful time consuming

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Probably a pretty relaxing way to spend an afternoon if you do it on purpose 🤷

"What did you do over the weekend, Bob?"

"Oh, not much. Sired a few goths, threw some meditation rice. You know, the usual"

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 months ago

Man if I can't have Caesar salad you might as well just drive a stake into my heart now.

[-] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

Substitute with the much superior shalot. Reign supreme into eternity.

[-] ObsidianZed@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I mean, you probably can, once.

[-] VubDapple@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago

Jokes on you Anon! If everyone is a vampire then who's blood do you suck?

[-] SpacePirate@lemmy.ml 53 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You farm the remaining humans like livestock? We mastered factory farming 100 years ago, no reason things need to change just because the animals can talk back.

(banned from /c/veganism)

[-] bizarroland@fedia.io 19 points 3 months ago

Okay but among those people who choose to remain human, how many of us would be okay with donating blood every two weeks in exchange for food and rent?

Think about it. If the vampires have all the power, why would they kill their food source when the longer they let their food source live the more food they get out of it?

Let us tra-la-la and have happy-go-lucky existences, which will probably make our blood taste better to them, and they can spend their eternities competing for resources or whatever makes a vampire happy after the first 500 years.

[-] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 10 points 3 months ago
[-] odium@programming.dev 9 points 3 months ago

I'm sure there are multiple already in existence

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

I've been saying this since I was a kid. Every time I see a blood donation place. That's a vampire organization and you can't convince me otherwise :D

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

Fun fact, human blood can be vegan, as long as the human is consenting

[-] commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago

the definition of veganism has nothing to do with consent, only exploitation.

[-] embed_me@programming.dev 5 points 3 months ago

Doesn't consent imply the absence of exploitative forces?

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

And if I'm consenting, then it isn't exploitation when a hot vampire gives me the biggest fucking hickey

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

This was part of the plots in the movies Blade & Blade 2.

The problem becomes apparent in this film: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0433362/

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] slaacaa@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

He would quickly become pro-immigration

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Or a bunch of redneck vampires invade Mexico

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Triasha@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago

Anon has not considered the consequences of an entire nation of hungry vampires devoid of humans.

[-] Swemg@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago

Well we have cows, might as well have human farms. Maybe genetically modified human with pockets of blood on their belly

[-] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 months ago

Delicious, juicy blood pockets.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] licheas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

what? so you have to bend over? naw. put that blood pocket on their neck like nature intended.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago

I think Anon needs to retake middle school biology. You see there's this thing called the predator/prey relationship and if the predators outnumber the prey, things are gonna get real dire REAL fast. Like this:

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0433362/

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 12 points 3 months ago

Yeah this is always the best thing when reading things like that; at the end of eternity we’ll be left with an immense amount of shrivelled, dusty and extremely hangry immortals.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

I was in a band called Extremely Hangry Immortals.

We mostly played industrial horrorcore and metal covers of food commercial jingles.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] quantumfoam@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago

Wasnt there a movie about this where almost everyone was basically a vampire, and started running out of humans and human blood to eat?

[-] Mrderisant@midwest.social 29 points 3 months ago

I think it was Daybreakers

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 3 months ago

If I'm not mistaken, it's also the source of that meme of William Dafoe looking up

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] nikaaa@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Vampire here.

I don't drink blood (because that's disgusting, and also crual and unfair), I drink vaginal juices.

AMA

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 15 points 3 months ago

Hoe many liters do you need on an average day?

Do you avoid or embrace periods?

That's all

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] paultimate14@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

OP really thinks vampires aren't gay?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Congratulations, you're ageless, will never retire and you have to do a lot of manual labor, as it's cheaper than a machine, if you convert a country. If only a few are converted, others will want to hunt you down and put you on a shelve as trophy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

OP: Killing people isn't a con

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

Anon might be Dio

[-] Omega_Man@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Can vampires sustain themselves on alien blood? Just imagining a brood of vampires conquering Earth and then setting their eyes to the galaxy. Like they have vampire scientists who find ways to let them enter sunlight and enjoy Italian food once more.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

Another con is that vampires are even more immortal than they appear. Even if the vampire's body is completely destroyed, their soul will wander through the universe, unable to affect anything, but still conscious. They can't even communicate with other vampires in that state. They'll get to see universe die starting 10 to the power of 16 years from now (end of star formation) until it's finally dead at 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 120, when universe reaches its final energy state. But at least a new universe will start at 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 56. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future)

[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

Where does that lore come from? I thought they literally gave up their soul to the devil, or whatever evil thing rules hell, to have physical immortality?

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] nifty@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

People suggesting you’d have to kill for blood haven’t seen true blood. IIRC the vampires in that book/show found a way to coexist with humans because human nations created artificial blood (that you could buy like soda at a convenience store etc)

Edit a whole bunch of other stuff happened, but that’s one aspect from that setting

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Can vampires sustain themselves on other vampires blood?

[-] Tuxman@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

In Vampire: The Masquerade, it’s considered one of the most taboo act as you literally take in the life force and soul of that other vampire.

But it’s an alluring concept as it can make the aggressor more powerful (at the cost of some humanity… it’s cannibalism after all) AND the victim vampire is utterly destroyed (so one of the permanent ways to take out an adversary)

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Before much longer, no one will be able to go out in daylight.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
233 points (93.6% liked)

Greentext

4290 readers
908 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS