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JD Vance is going to be Trump's VP (www.independent.co.uk)
submitted 3 months ago by Zuzak@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net
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[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 111 points 3 months ago

the fake hillbilly motherfucker is gonna be one burger down the wrong pipe away from the presidency

we live in the bad timeline but at least it's funny

[-] Egon@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

As president he's gonna have to wear suspenders and snap them anytime he wants to make a point

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[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 80 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Fucking lmao Peter Thiel is one fish delite-related asphyxiation away from the presidency.

[-] newacctidk@hexbear.net 73 points 3 months ago

I think the Trillbillies are going to SH themselves

[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Next episode is going to be a banger

[-] newacctidk@hexbear.net 57 points 3 months ago

Tarence has already muted his DMs apparently. lol

[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago
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[-] GVAGUY3@hexbear.net 60 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Negative charisma. Hillbilly Elegy aged like shit (and it already was shit).

[-] CrispyFern@hexbear.net 58 points 3 months ago

My sister went to see jd Vance speak at her college and there was going to be a meet and greet thing after the speech with cookies and juice. She ended up having to leave early and when she went to get a cookie she accidentally knocked the whole catering-sized box all over the floor. She tried to help the staff clean them up, but when she tried to throw them away they were like, "what are you doing? Those are still good?" and PUT THE FLOOR COOKIES BACK ON THE TABLE TO BE SERVED!

So I know for a fact that JD Vance has eaten floor cookies.

[-] da_gay_pussy_eatah@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago

I've also eaten floor cookies, tbf.

[-] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Same. I've eaten a lot of things off the floor.

Most commonly it's floor chips

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[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

I mean look, it depends on how clean the floor is

[-] Boredom@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

Man of the people tbh, 5 second rule.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

Your sister is Larry David

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

Five-Second Ruler

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[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 58 points 3 months ago

I'm surprised by this pick because I think Trump will get annoyed - perhaps very quickly - if Vance gets even a little too much attention. I'm not saying Vance is super charismatic or anything. But Pence was a smart pick for Trump because he was as interesting as a pile of wet paper towels.

[-] footfaults@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago

Elegy yourself and everyone around you

[-] TillieNeuen@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago

I hate Peter Thiel so much

[-] mar_k@hexbear.net 47 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

the message of his famous memoir was literally "the working class appalachians i grew up with are loser rednecks who will never amount to anything because they're worthless lazy fucks who blame all their problems on the system." not exaggerating, this is how he talks about his people:

[-] BabyTurtles@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

No wonder Peter Thiel has been jerking him off.

[-] M68040@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

The best thing Hillbilly Elegy did for me was get me into Trillbilly while looking for good critiques afterwards

[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

"A naked druggie"

What Ed, do you bathe with your clothes on?

[-] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 44 points 3 months ago

I can see the electoral rationale for this if you consider Vance as a way to try and plug some holes in Trump's public image for the campaign.

His USMC service means Trump can use him to distract from the 'suckers and losers' or lack of support from veterans attack line. Vance's whole hillbilly elegy working class hope shtick (yeah it's bullshit) counters Trump's NYC spoiled billionaire reality. The fact that Vance used to talk mad shit about Trump doesn't just mean that Trump can use him bending the knee as a sign of strength, but Vance can distance himself from those comments, especially after the shooting, and play into the whole unity and calmer rhetoric thing.

Plus I imagine it comes with an absolutely blank cheque from Peter Thiel and a lot more of silicon valley.

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[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 41 points 3 months ago

JD Vance sounds like a shady car dealership.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

He sounds like he's about to sell me a refrigerator

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[-] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 40 points 3 months ago

I know

ron-sugar-man is the more direct Republican counterpart of

pete-eat

but Vance gives off a very similar "grown in a vat and programmed to acquise to the highest bidder/biggest evil by adopting any affect or positions his ~~owners~~ ~~handlers~~ backers want him to" kind of vibes

[-] barrbaric@hexbear.net 41 points 3 months ago

It's not even vibes, lol, he's explicitly owned by Peter Thiel.

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

So independent. Such outsider.

[-] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago

Better than Flynn imo

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago

blood boy two handshakes away from the presidency big-cool

[-] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago

Peter Thiel is VP. Musk in shambles

Well, at least it was not some freaky, absolutely-unhinged, Neocon, nuclear warmonger (like Nikki Haley, John Bolton, or even Mike Pence).

However, Vance does seem to be quite anti-China. His selection likely represents a growing split within the US ruling class. One faction wants to "destroy Russia first, then attack China" (i.e. the pro-Biden faction). The other faction wants to "attack China now, then destroy Russia" (i.e. the pro-Trump faction). Both factions seek the same goal: US global domination.

Of course, both of these ruling class factions are arrogant, delusional morons. They could not successfully occupy Iraq and Afghanistan without bankrupting the US federal government. They definitely will not be able to defeat China and Russia.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

There's two kinds of Terminators

Blue Terminators and Red Terminators

[-] homhom9000@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

JD Vance, Vance refrigeration.

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[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

Is this not going to alienates to his rural working class chud base? Do they not know who JD Vance is? Like is he not broadly known outside of his preferred fanbase and the communists who hate him?

[-] GVAGUY3@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

They won't care, but will blame him for Trumps failures

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 15 points 3 months ago

I already do. Fucking JP MorgVance!

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[-] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago

Trillbillies Ep. 1 throwback.

[-] Fatdork2@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

I wasn't sure about Trump before, but with this JD VANCE pick he secured my vote. In fact I will vote for him 5 times. Suck it loony liberals!

[-] NapoleonBlownApart@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

Why does the absolutely shittiest thing keep happening?

[-] M68040@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

Oh boy, Thiel acolytes.

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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
113 points (97.5% liked)

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