77
submitted 4 months ago by yogthos@lemmygrad.ml to c/news@hexbear.net
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] edge@hexbear.net 55 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

“We could risk the life of a secret service agent to protect him.”

That’s literally their job. Roofers take that risk every day just to make their bosses a little richer.

[-] yogthos@lemmygrad.ml 31 points 4 months ago
[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

Wow, those are some true heroes. Positioning themselves on a sloped roof with no regard for their own safetyamerikkka-clap

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

i mean, would you look at those angles?! the bravery on display here is unreal!

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

yeah but peasants are supposed to die for profit, the praetorian guard isn't that expendable

[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 47 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Dude. Do you want to stoke the conspiracy theories? Cuz that's the most obviously transparent excuse you could possibly come up with. YOU WERE ON AN EVEN STEEPER ROOF IN ALL THE PHOTOS.

Here are 10 better excuses not generated by AI, and to prove it's not AI I gave up after 7

1: We were under staffed

2: Atmospheric distortion due to the excessive heat

3: There was a tree in the way

4: The westerly sun blinded me

5: Localized smog cloud

6: It smells funny there

7: That would put us down wind of the crowd

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago

sun was in my eyes, controller came unplugged, cosmic ray flipped a bit and fucked up my jump

[-] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago

my little brother had the walky talky and wouldn't call it in my spotter had a madcatz scope

[-] OperationOgre@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

My game lagged it's not my fault

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

We all had low blood sugar because we had exhausted our supply of Twinkies at the last campaign stop

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 43 points 4 months ago

The SS (SSecret SService) just want to get drunk on the job and post white power memes to 4chan, why are you asking so much from them?

[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

Sounds like they just need more funding

[-] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 39 points 4 months ago

What if that guy just saw the uncovered roof and succumbed to an intrusive thought

[-] booty@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

Lmao that would explain the lack of evidence of a motive or long-term plan. Just "huh, security looks pretty fucked here, whats stopping somebody from just climbing up there and... what's stopping me from doing that?"

[-] ashinadash@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Most people get a "throw your phone out the window", bro got a "you could ventilate that dude"

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 38 points 4 months ago

Holy shit haha. The people that are expected to soak up bullets meant for the president aren't allowed on sloped roofs? They were probably thinking that no assassin would do something as dangerous as climb a sloped roof.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago

The "slope" of the roof was like 10 degrees at most, a slight incline lmao, too scary!

[-] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

Maybe Trump hand picked his detail because they all share his hatred of gentle slopes and stairs

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Some of these guys supposedly don’t have any formal combat training or experience. I was watching the Jay Leno interview with some SS agents and the agent claims that he was just a mechanic who got the SS job by coincidence lol

[-] nothx@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

This is kinda true… i think as long as you are willing to die or take the blame, they will hire you.

[-] BoxedFenders@hexbear.net 34 points 4 months ago

A 20 year old NEET braver than America's most elite security team.

[-] TomBombadil@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

Guess I'm more elite then the secret service because I know how to handle not only 10degree roofs safely but also use safety gear in vertical environments. these clowns heard of ropes? It's a new technology

[-] StalinStan@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago

But he didn't have any counterfit money so they had their job half way covered

[-] TomBombadil@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

How long untill chuds blame the whole thing on the fact that the secret service director is a woman

[-] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

You're already days behind sadly. This and DEI hires in the Secret Service were being pushed as thr narrative on Fox and elsewhere within hours.

[-] TomBombadil@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

Suppose I knew in my heart just haven't bothered to go looking for it

[-] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

I hope the hogs take out their anger on the secret service. I could use more funny events

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

Look, I'm not saying that everything important needs to be managed by white men. But consider the facts.

[-] LeZero@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

Not helping, Secret Service Chief.

The libs are already reaching Alex Jones level of conspiracy theory on this one

[-] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

Drill an anchor in the roof, attach an eyelet. Wear fall arrest harness with retractable lanyard

[-] reagansrottencorpse@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 months ago

I'm surprised we don't have presidential assassination attempts more often.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago
[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 4 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
77 points (100.0% liked)

news

23575 readers
673 users here now

Welcome to c/news! Please read the Hexbear Code of Conduct and remember... we're all comrades here.

Rules:

-- PLEASE KEEP POST TITLES INFORMATIVE --

-- Overly editorialized titles, particularly if they link to opinion pieces, may get your post removed. --

-- All posts must include a link to their source. Screenshots are fine IF you include the link in the post body. --

-- If you are citing a twitter post as news please include not just the twitter.com in your links but also nitter.net (or another Nitter instance). There is also a Firefox extension that can redirect Twitter links to a Nitter instance: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/libredirect/ or archive them as you would any other reactionary source using e.g. https://archive.today . Twitter screenshots still need to be sourced or they will be removed --

-- Mass tagging comm moderators across multiple posts like a broken markov chain bot will result in a comm ban--

-- Repeated consecutive posting of reactionary sources, fake news, misleading / outdated news, false alarms over ghoul deaths, and/or shitposts will result in a comm ban.--

-- Neglecting to use content warnings or NSFW when dealing with disturbing content will be removed until in compliance. Users who are consecutively reported due to failing to use content warnings or NSFW tags when commenting on or posting disturbing content will result in the user being banned. --

-- Using April 1st as an excuse to post fake headlines, like the resurrection of Kissinger while he is still fortunately dead, will result in the poster being thrown in the gamer gulag and be sentenced to play and beat trashy mobile games like 'Raid: Shadow Legends' in order to be rehabilitated back into general society. --

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS