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J.D. Vance Spends Weird, Low-Energy Speech Praising Diet Mountain Dew (newrepublic.com)

submitted 4 months ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

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J.D. Vance’s weird, anti-woke punchline fell flat at his own sleepy speaking event on Monday.

Vance held a rally at his former high school in Middletown, Ohio, where hundreds gathered to hear the missives of Donald Trump’s newly-minted vice presidential candidate. But, even as a hometown hero, the Ohio senator suffered some brutally awkward moments.

“It is the weirdest thing to me: Democrats say that it is racist to believe—well, they say it’s racist to do anything,” said Vance. “I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

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[-] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 125 points 4 months ago

Like Vance’s quip about diet soda, this approach to criticism seems to stem from having absolutely nothing of substance to say about a subject, but giving it their best shot anyway.

Overall, the Republican’s performance was so underwhelming that even Fox News stopped airing coverage of Vance’s speech in the middle of his remarks.

oh that is funny!

[-] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 92 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Worst VP pick since Palin. He presents as your smartass alt right troll cousin that you think about skipping Thanksgiving to avoid, and his only real appeal is speaking out against the "elites," who were all inconveniently in the list of his personal contacts that were accessible to the public because the RNC forgot to set his Venmo to private while "vetting" their VP pick.

It's a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 20 points 4 months ago

I wonder if all the other options actually had backbones? I know the one supreme deciding factor for Trump's pick: "will you do as I say and deny the results of the election and anything else I ask you to do that isn't above board?"

I think there might be more pences out there than we think so Vance might have been one of a few on a short list that filled that criteria. Plus I'm sure Trump liked the look of him.

[-] Chocrates@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Reporting was saying that Trump didn't like Vance and Trump's sons had to convince him.

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[-] itsgoodtobeawake@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

I hadn't heard that venmo story, gotta love the self owns, here it is: https://www.wired.com/story/jd-vance-venmo/

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[-] dogsnest@lemmy.world 82 points 4 months ago

So far he's got the charisma of a soap dish.

[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 37 points 4 months ago

That's more than Mike Pence ever managed.

[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Hell, I was convinced Pence was a supervillain sitting in a swivel chair stroking a long haired cat for like the first year of Trump's presidency. I didn't like Trump, but I just thought he was a blowhard who would do absolutely nothing rather than trying to actively harm people.

Pence turned out to be little more than a neutered grapefruit with almost as much personality.

[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

After Cheney that's an understandable assumption about the VP.

[-] worldwidewave@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago

He truly is Trump’s successor, rambling about incoherent nonsense is a staple of a Trump rally. My favorite has to be his many rants about toilets not flushing.

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 79 points 4 months ago

Ew he drank DIET? Is he some weird LEFTY MARXIST COMMUINIST? Real Americans have FULL SUGAR

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 4 months ago

Americans 👏 consume 👏 high 👏 fructose 👏 corn 👏 syrup

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 30 points 4 months ago

My taxes subsidized all that corn, I gotta get my money's worth!!

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[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 28 points 4 months ago

Diet Mountain Dew tastes like absolute trash. It's like they just replaced the pound of sugar in each bottle with an equal amount of bitter aspartame with no other recipe adjustments.

[-] JaymesRS@literature.cafe 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Baja Blast and Code Red are the exceptions to that, otherwise hard agree.

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[-] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 73 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

“They keep saying I’m a racist no matter which soda I drink—it’s almost as if they reached that conclusion on some other basis altogether!”

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 24 points 4 months ago

"They're never satisfied, I mutter the n-word while I drink coke, racist! I mutter DEI n-word while drinking Pepsi, racist! I put my foot on the throat of my black maid for fun while drinking sprite, racist! The left has lost their n-word minds! Oops they'll call me racist for that too! Unbelievable!"

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 71 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

LOL he wrote a whole book blaming uneducated southern bumpkins for their own generations-long problems, so now he's trying to win back the ones who hate his wife but are going to vote R anyway. because of course they guzzle mountain dew by the 5gal bucketload

1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life's work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life's work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades

Leaded gasoline is my guess. We put so much brain damaging shit into the air that decent portions of a couple generations have mental issues like this.

A good percentage of the current republican politicians are too young to have directly had their brains damaged by that, but their parents and the constituents they're trying to woo all had the damage, so it's likely either they were traumatized by their parents or they're just being stupid to seem more relatable to the constituents.

[-] pezmaker@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 months ago

I'm beginning to wonder if micro-plastics aren't going to be our leaded gasoline. If they really do cross the blood brain barrier, I can't imagine that they wouldn't be impacting us long term with cognitive and behavioral variances.

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[-] zephorah@lemm.ee 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Ok, I’ll bite, what’s the problem with Vance’s wife? Is she black or Jewish or something else not white evangelical?

[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 months ago

Daughter of Indian immigrants, consulting the chart- she lands just under the red line.

[-] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

Indian, I think

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[-] MagicShel@programming.dev 33 points 4 months ago

Diet Dr. Trump, brought to you by Pepsi.

Yes, Mr. Pibb would be better than implying Trump is in any way smart enough to be a doctor, but I think lacks the meme power of Dr. Pepper.

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[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 28 points 4 months ago

As he started defending diet mt dew, I knew he was unelectable. Massive miscalculation Vance.

[-] Zipitydew@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 months ago

I've joked for years drinking diet mnt dew on purpose is a cry for help. This only confirms my position.

[-] MSids@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago

Please drink a verification can to continue campaigning

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 9 points 4 months ago

Can-paigning

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[-] isgleas@lemmy.ml 22 points 4 months ago

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho enters the race

[-] orclev@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was several orders of magnitude a better president than any of these chucklefucks could ever hope to be. He saw his country had a problem he didn't know how to solve so he found the smartest person he could, asked him what to do, and then did it even when it sounded crazy to him and his entire cabinet. We would all be a lot better off if we had more presidents like Camacho and less like Trump.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

While those are all excellent points, you're kinda leaving out the point where he ordered his secretary of the interior publicly executed for not solving a multitude of seemingly impossible problems fast enough..

That's more of a Trump cult kind of thing.

[-] orclev@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

I mean, he was a moron. He ordered him executed because he thought everything he had suggested failed and it caused a major problem (he tanked the value of Brawndo leading to an economic collapse), not realizing they just needed to wait a little longer to see the results. He was very short sighted, but he at least tried to do the right thing. He also pardoned him as soon as he was shown evidence that the problem had been solved.

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[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 months ago

Diet Mountain Dew tastes like shit. Either drink classic, Code Red, or Baja Blast. Fucking tasteless profligate. I already hated him but now I wanf to feed him battery acid.

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[-] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

A diet drink? Wow that's very woke of him!

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[-] JaymesRS@literature.cafe 16 points 4 months ago

What’s the over/under on him getting asked to withdraw as the VP now that it’s Kamala instead of Joe since he doesn’t really bring anything to the ticket than more smooth talking MAGA talking points?

[-] qarbone@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

“I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

...smooth-talking?

[-] JaymesRS@literature.cafe 9 points 4 months ago

Yep. He is dialed in to the right-wing grievance politics message. You and I may think he sounds like an idiot but to the “my gender is attack/helicopter” crowd he generally hits all the notes perfectly.

But that’s the problem. He doesn’t bring anything outside of those who are already 100% tuned in.

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[-] ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.ml 15 points 4 months ago

He only changes his underwear every 8 years. which is what i learned from him saying no-fault divorces allow people to change their spouses as often as their underwear.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

Vance IS a "weird, anti-woke punchline" to a joke setup that the vast majority of people are sick and tired of.

[-] Rapidcreek@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

Vance is Palin .. but without the fashion sense

[-] zephorah@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago

He looks like a guy who left his parents’ basement and, blinded by the sunlight, accidentally stumbled into a tailor’s shop.

[-] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

But has it got what plants crave? Electrolytes?

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Vance is just a can of diet mountain dew himself.

[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago

Fuck you, don't disrespect the dew.

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[-] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Sleepy J

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

He looks like an evil Tyler Labine.

[-] RidgeDweller@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

Tucker and Dale vs Evil is amazing

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this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024

454 points (97.7% liked)

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